Nudity again

It never occured to me that my American friends wouldn't know what a cot was. I should have known there was a language problem. You callthem cribs, we call them cots. He woke up at 1am, 3am, and 5.30am last night. Every time I think he's getting the hang of sleeping at night, he manages to prove me wrong. He didn't really want very much feeding during the night. I think he just wants to make a noise. My theory is that he sleeps better after he has a late bath. He seems to like baths.

The Chinese State Circus is coming to town and they're pitching their tent in my very street. I really want to go and see them, but there is the question of what to do with the child. I thought we could just bring him along, but the dragon says that he won't like the drumming and shouting. There's kung fu and stuff. I'm still thinking about a solution for this.

Ilearnt last night about the Marie Celeste. There was a documentary on tv. I learnt that nearly everything we know about it was down to a fictional piece written by Arthur Conan-Doyle from the point of view of a survivor. It even turns out that the boat was never called Marie Celeste, it was called Mary Celeste. The latest theory is that a cargo of alcohol ignited and the crew panicked and left. The fire didn't cause any damage apparently because it just flared and then went straight out. So there you have it.

One of the Big Brother house mates has been evicted for signalling to her family. I personally think she should be commended for her inovative idea. They only like idiots winning though. Why is that?

I haven't really been reading the news today, but I did see one story about a woman from Wales who landed up in court after a neighbour spotted her sunbathing naked in her garden. It seems that the neighbour (male and father of three) was apalled at the nakedness of the woman and rushed to get his video camera to collect evidence. The court however cleared the woman of indecent exposure on the grounds that it was clear she wsa not intending to offend anyone.

I wonder how this would have been handled in the US. I'm bettign that the woman wouldn't have been found not guilty there. The comment v=board ont he BBC website however seems to be overwhelmingly in support of her.

I think he likes it

The baby slept in his recycled cot for the first time last night. He woke at 1am and 5am, and he was asleep again when I left at 6.30 this morning. I think he likes it.



Maybe this picture will put Abbey's mind at rest on the cot/cat issue. Incidentally, I don't understand the white meat thing.

I set the rat trap but there was no rat in it this morning. There were a few slugs. Apparently slugs like peanut butter. We have squillions of slugs in our garden.

Currently the British police are operating an amnesty on knives. According to the BBC website, we can all go along to the police station and hand in our knives "without fear of penalty". Penalty for what exactly? Since when has it been illegal to own a knife? If I take my meat cleaver from the kitchen to the police station after the amnesty ends on June 30th, what penalty am I going to face exactly? The BBC goes on however to say, "police have warned that once the amnesty is over, tough action will be taken on those found armed with knives". So, from this I assume that people found armed with knives before the amnesty ends, will face no action. I think the British police only recruit people of below average intelligence.

I didn't get around to mentioning yesterday about yet another attack on homeopathy, this time from 13 top Britsh doctors led by Michael Baum, emeritus professor of surgery at University College London. The attack took the form of a letter sent to hundreds of primary and acute care trusts, urging the NHS to stop funding quack practices like homeopathy. Unusually the BBC actually printed a quite balanced report with comment from both pro and anti camps. Michael Baum is quoted as saying, "We need clinical trials to demonstrate that these placebo therapies actually enhance quality of life". Seems reasonable to me. Dr Peter Fisher, Royal London Homeopathic Hospital, is quoted as saying, "I don't know the mechanism of action of homeopathy, nobody does. But there is scientific evidence to support it". So, you don't know how it works, but you're sure it does - very scientific.

I was amused by Fisher's comment that "that the eight trials [that clearly showed homeopathy doesn't work] were very carefully selected. If you had selected seven or nine, you would have got a quite different result". In other words he is saying that the statistics were skewed. He goes on to say, "There is a considerable body of positive evidence that homeopathy works. Most of the meta-analyses - the pooling of statistical results - have been positive". In other words, if you select the right trials you can show positive results. He's using the same argument for and against!

Listen people, I know that not everyone agrees with me, but this is a no brainer, if homeopathy works it should be really easy to show. There should be no argument. You set up a robust, double-blind trial, with a blind control group, and gather the data. You really only have to do it a couple of times. Every time a robust trial takes place however, it shows nothing. So why are we still investigating? This attack came just before Prince Charles was due to make a speech about the benefits of complimentary medicine and is being seen as a personal dig. The speech apparently went ahead however, with Charles simply ignoring the fact that qualified people were subtly telling him he was talking rubbish.

15 minutes

There is a job in Poole, DOrset which looks like it might be what I am looking for. I don't know whether I'll be lucky, but I've thrown my hat in the ring. It's on the south coast. It's a nice area with a nature reserve and one of the most famous nudist beaches in the country. It would mean relocating, but I officially hate Swindon and the dragon says that she wouldn't mind moving.

I bought a rat trap again yesterday and the torrential rain appears to have stopped, so I may set it tonight. I haven't seen the rat for a day or two, but maybe he was just put off by the rain. Apparently peanut butter is a good bait to use in rat traps, so I am going to have a go with that. I'll bring you a report and pictures if the hunt is successful. I'm also going to bring youpictures of the recycled cot tonight since it should be dry and ready to assemble.

I made it into the paper yesterday. There is a small picture of me and some quotes, completely out of context, that make me sound like a loony nazi. It's still quite cool to see myself in the paper however. The reporter asked me if I thought it was a good idea to let victims have a say in when criminals are releas3ed from prison. I don't have a problem with this. Someone has to decide when to let people out, and I'd say victims probably have more right than anyone else. It does turn it into a revenge thing, as my father pointed out. But I personally don't have a problem with that either. If revenge makes the victims feel better, then what's wrong with it? It would extend sentences I'm sure, but that might well help improve the public perception of the home office and prison service which is currently not good. I did also tell the reporter that we could definitely stop people reoffending by bringing back the death penalty, but that wasn't printed.

It was just the cold weather

If you're having trouble logging onto open diary, it's because you're using the new Firefox browser. Or perhaps more accurately, it's because the bloody website can't handle the new firefox browser. There is a fix I've discovered. Log on from www.FreeOpenDiary.com. I don't know why it works, I only know it does.

We almost finished recycling the cot this weekend. It's half painted, the rest is done. I was hoping that we could install the baby today, but that looks unlikely now. Last night he woke us up at 2am, and 4.30am. However, he didn't really want anything at 4.30, just wanted to make a noise I think.

We have a rat in our garden. Did I mention this already? Well we have anyway. I bought a rat trap yesterday for £1.99, and then somehow managed to lose it on the way home. I know that sounds like a Mr. Bean story. I don't know how it happened. I think I put it in the basket at the bottom of the pushchair and somehow it dropped out. I'll pick up another one today on the way home.

I was stopped by a reporter in the street yesterday and he asked me my opinion about whether victims of crime should have some say in the parole of criminals. I don't have a problem with this. I found out after I got home that this notion has come from Home Secretary John Reid, which makes it a less attractive idea. My father says it would just bring in a revenge element. I can't see why that's such a bad thing. It would definitely increase the length of time criminals spent in prison. That would reduce the amount of reoffending. Anyway, the reporter took my picture and I guess I could be in the paper today.

A report in the Telegraph today claims that one prison in Britain is losing aorund 2 inmates per week through escapes. That my friends is appalling. This is the result of prisoners being treated too well. If you allow them to go out during the day, is it any wonder that a percentage of them don't come back. That's not a prison, that's a hotel. The BBC has also picked up on this story and reports that 700 prisoners escaped from open prisons last year - Whoops! "Open Prison", isn't that an oxymoron?

My old friends PETA have staged a naked protest in London. I'm glad to see that they are back to nudity again. I was worried that they had turned their backs on nude protests, but it seems they just put them on hold until the warm weather returned. This time it's about bear skin hats, as worn by the guards at Buckingham palace. These hats have been made from the skins of Canadian bears for 200 years, but apparently it's cruel. This is not a new agument. I believe the Canadian black bears are culled every year to control the numbers, and the skins are obtained from the culled animals. No bear is hunted down just for it's skin.

With my own two hands

I finished fixing the recycled cot last night. It stood up on it's own legs, two of which I made with my own hands. The cot was free since we stole it from the recycling centre. Two legs and all the fixings were missing. I paid £2.99 for the piece of wood to make the new legs, and around £4 for the nuts and bolts. So that's a whole cot for £7. The dragon is going to paint it, so that will be another £5, depending on what she wants in the way of paint. Call it £12 altogether. That's less than half price. It's not the money saving aspect however, it's the fact that I recycled it myself. I don't know why it was left at the recycling center actually. It's really only for glass, aluminium, old clothes, and paper.

We fed him at 10.30, 2.30, and then 5.30 again last night. He's getting there. He managed all his injections OK yesterday too. And he'd gone back to sleep by the time I left for work at 6.30 this morning.

The home office has admitted that there are now almost 50,000 DNA profiles on the national database taken from people under 18 who were not convicted of a crime. I can't find words to describe just how much this disgusts me. The Home Office has defended the situation. This must be against the European Human Rights act. It just has to be.

The new Airbus A380 has visited Heathrow for the first time. Apparently they are going to start flying commercially at the end of this year. I really want to fly in one. There are lots of critics moaning about polution and cramming too many people on board. I think it looks good. It's apparently quieter and more fuel efficient per passenger than a 747, and I'm all for that.

I've come to the conclusion that television is the worst possible thing that could have happened to news reporting. I was watching one of the news channels on tv at lunchtime. They were showing coverage of 5 soldiers killed in Iraq being returned to Britain. Each coffin was unloaded fromthe plane, hoisted upon the shoulders of 6 bearers and marched to a waiting car. Each coffin's journey from plane to car must have taken about 10 minutes. Thus the coverage was 50 minutes of coffins moving slowly across an airfield. It was newsworthy, and it needed reporting. It didn't need 50 minutes. On the radio it would have been a 5 minute report from "our man on the scene".

The worst type of news reporting on tv is disaster area coverage. Traditionally it begins with a picture of an African village with smoke rising from wrecked houses, and ends with a broken toy lying in the mud. And you just know it was put there by the crew to make things more dramatic. I also hate those reporters who go to the home of someone who has lost a relative in some frightful disaster, and interview them as they flick through a family photo album. There's a lot to be said for scrapping tv news altogether and just putting it on the radio I think.

Uprising

There seems to be something of a Christian uprising over the Da Vinci Code film, which opens this week in Cannes. The Christians are not handling the situation at all well. They're all throwing their hands up and telling everyone not to watch it, which will of course add to the hype and send more people to the box office window. The Christian lobby should stop and think about what they are saying. The official Christian line is that the film, though having some basis in historical fact, is not entirely factual and should therefore be avoided. Is that a good reason to avoid a film? It didn't exactly send the crowds away from Titanic or Gladiator did it?

I don't usually like to take the Christian side, but I'm going to do them a favour here. First some advice, don't tell everyone to avoid the film, tell them to read the book, then they'll realise just how awful it is and not bother with the film. Second, publish a synopsis which outlines just how bad the plot is. This will have the same effect as reading the book, and will be especially effective at catching those who don't like to read. I'm so into this, I'm even going to give you a plot synopsis here:

Robert Langdon, academic, is called to the Louvre to help with the investigation of the suspicious death of the curator Jaques Sauniere. Langdon doesn't really understand why he is there until Sauniere's daughter shows up and fills him in about her grandfather and he twigs he's involved in a secret society. Langdon realises that he is in fact suspected of being involved in the death and escapes with grandaughter (Sophie Neveu). It turns out Sophie was brought up by her Grandfather after the death of her parents, brother, and Grandmother in a car crash when she was a baby. Sauniere has left a series of clues for his Grandaughter and Langdon to follow.

It transpires that Sauniere is keeper of the secret location of the remains of Mary Magdalane, (wife of Christ and the true chalice) and information about the child and resulting bloodline from their marriage. They spend two days chasing round France and then UK following Sauniere's clues to uncover the secret, which turns out to be an enigmatic message hidden in a vault.

When they get the enigmatic message, they charge up to the Roslin chapel in Scotland thinking that it is where the message points to. They are wrong but they discover Sophie's grandmother and brother are there and not really dead at all (sounds like Dallas now doesn't it). Sophie's Grandmother already knows about the secret message, where it was hidden, and what it means. She takes it and returns it to the new secret keeper. Which makes you wonder why Langdon and Sophie had to go to so much trouble unravelling the clues left by Sauniere who could have simply told his grandaughter to call his wife in Scotland.

And that's where it ends except that Langdon didn't find out where Mary Magdalane's remains were hidden. It comes to him in a flash of realisation however. She's under the glass pyramid in the Louvre. The inference is that the catholic church knows all this information about Mary Magdalane and has covered it up to prevent the church from changing shape.

So there you have it, an utterly pointless plot based on Langdon's quest to discover a secret through a series of clues left by Sauniere. It doesn't work because the secret was already known by Sauniere's wife and there was no point in the clues.

So, on to something else...

Last night we fed the baby at around 11pm, then went to bed. I got up at 2.30 to feed him again, and then the dragon got up at 5.30. It was a pretty good night. I realise that I am becomming a bore, but you will too when you become a parent. He gets his immunisations today. I'll bore you again tomorrow with news of that.

I have a half built Tesla coil in my loft. I hope I can find time this year to complete the project. I'm writing this here in an effort to kick myself into action. I also want to build a pepper's ghost illusion demonstration. I'm not going to explain these things. They are just reminders for me.

I hate slugs. They have eaten all my white radish plants and ruined one of my sunflowers. I also hate cats because they keep shitting in my garden. I've covered the vegetables with a net now and the strawberry plants too. The Chilli trees are now flowering and so are the tomatoes.

Feeling Strong

Currently I'm working on a temporary contract. It's OK but I haven't been paid for 6 weeks due to a cock up, not of my doing. It seems that the company for whom I work pays the agency for my time, the agency takes their cut, and then passes what's left to me. They can't pass it directly to me however. I have to work for an umbrella company, who then pay me. I could set up my own company and miss out the umbrella thing, but I've done that before and it's just asking for trouble. There is a problem between the agency and my umbrella comapny however. It's the agency's fault, they're idiots. I threatened to walk out and take legal advice this morning, and lo and behold, it looks like I've been paid. I feel strong.

I made legs for the new reclaimed cot yesterday. I was quite pleased with myself. I need to buy nuts and bolts tonight to affix all the pieces together. Then we have a cot, net cost £2.99 for the wood, and whatever the cost of 8 nuts and bolts is. The dragon wants to paint it. It's her artist training. To be honest, and I think I mentioned this yesterday, the cot only costs £22.50 new from IKEA, but we made it. Isn't that something? I'm going to put pictures of it here when it's finished.

I just got a call from a recruitment agency and I have an interview on Friday. It's not a great job and the pay is not good, but it's nice to be offered an interview. I think I'll go along and see what it's about. With any luck I will also be offered some other interviews. I've also been asked to stay at the current contract until almost the end of June. I don't really want to, but I will if nothing else comes along.

It's a slow news day I think. I can't find anything that I want to talk about.

Money making idea

Today's interesting fact - before 1992, copper coins in Britain were made of solid copper. Currently they are made of copper plated steel. The price of copper today means that the scrap value of 1p and 2p coins produced before 1992 is twice the face value of the coin. So, in theory you could buy up pre 1992 coins at face value, melt them down, and sell them at a profit for scrap. The royal mint is not saying how many pre 1992 coins there are in circulation.

I really like the new Dr. Who dramas. I grew up with the old Dr. Who, and I enjoyed it, but there is no getting away from the fact that the monsters all looked like men in scuba diving suits or men in painted cardboard boxes. Also, the sets did tend to wobble when the doors slammed. The new Cybermen however are really quite chilling. They have art deco faces with a little tear in each eye. I have to admit, after watching the first of the new Dr. Who episodes, I was left disapointed. It was the one where all the plastic came to life in London. There were shop dummies running around. It wasn't very good. But recently I've seen one episode set on board a spaceship with clockwork robots, and the first half of the cybermen story. You should watch them, they're really good.

I know this sounds really cheap, but at the recycling centre yesterday I found an old cot. It's clean, but two of the legs are missing. So I nicked it and I'm going to make legs for it. It's not quite chopping down a tree and making a crib, but it's close I feel. The dragon is intending to paint it and do it up. I'll buy a new matress for it, and we'll have a cot. It's silly realy because it's only a cheap IKEA product and we could get a new one for £25; it's the challenge however. I'm looking forward to it. So it's off to the Homebase store on the way home tonight.

My agency owe me literally thousands due to a cock up in payment methods. I haven't been payed in almost 6 weeks. I'm fed up with it. They say I'm getting payed tomorrow, but I'm downing tools if I don't. That could actually backfire on me given the fact that I'm doing very little here anyway.

Circumcision

Last night the little chap slept from 8.30 pm - 1.30 am. Then I got up and fed him. Then he woke up again around 4.30 am and the Dragon fed him. I think he's getting the hang of the night and day thing now. One thing about these middle of the night feeds is the amount of weird TV I catch. Early this morning I caught the end of a debate on circumcision and a thing about Criss Angel. He hung himself under a helicopter with hooks through his flesh and went flying off around the countryside, wierdo. I can't understand why anyone would want to be circumcised, or pierce their flesh with big hooks and hang themself under a helicopter.

Yesterday the animal rights idiots I mentioned got sentenced to 12 years each, except for the chick, she got 4 years. I'm not sure why she was let off more lightly. I guess that means she'll be out in 2 years and her scummy friends in 6. Doesn't seem enough for blackmail, intimidation, criminal damage, and grave robbing does it.

I've found out what "making indecent images of children means". It's legal speak for copying pictures. That is to say, if you download an image from a website, that's making an image because the file is copied to your local machine. When you have it on your hardrive, or on CD, that's posession. It seems to me that all paedophiles are charged with posession of and making illegal images. It doesn't seem to be illegal to view images however. And here's another thought, why does viewing these images make someone a sex offender? I actually know someone who had to signteh sex offenders' register for making/posessing/viewing images. Isn't that like saying kerb crawling is the same offence as propositioning a prostitute. Kerb crawling isn't actually illegal at all in Britain, much to the dismay of the police.

There is a story emerging today about prisoners addicted to drugs suing the Home Office because they were forced to go cold turkey when they were detained. If these people win their case there should be rioting in the streets. Are they suggesting that they should be allowed to take controlled drugs in prison? They have access to the medical facilities they require, what's he problem here?

Nimby

I thought our little man had learnt to sleep through the night last night. I fed him at midnight, and I didn't hear him again until 5 this morning. I was wrong however, the dragon got up around 2.30 apparently. Altogether, not a very good night afterall. He has this thing now where he seems to sleep between about 7 or 8 pm until midnight. Now why can't he sleep between midnight and 5 am?

I was right yesterday whan I said Gary McKinnon, the hapless London hacker, was likely to fail in his attempt to avoid extradition. His defence of, "I did it, but it was morally sound because I was looking for supressed UFO pictures", was deemed unworthy. He's apparently going to appeal, nutter.

Do you know what a NIMBY is? I didn't. It stands for Not In My Back Yard, and it's apparently the in-vougue acronym for people who routinely object to housing developments in their areas. New "Community Secretary" Ruth Kelly has pledged to fight the nimbies and get new homes built. Apparently however she has a history of nimby activity herself and has been accused of hypocrisy by just about everyone.

It occurrs to me that Gordon Brown is an extremely powerful man at the moment. If Brown was to resign, or die, or simply announce that he no longer wanted to take on the role of Labour leader, the Labour party would collapse. Blair has pledged to go, though not when, and he is liekly to be elbowed out even if he doesn't go quietly. If Brown doesn't step into his shoes, who else could do it? John Pescott maybe. It was postulated in the Telegraph editorials yesterday that Brown should have already threatened to resign over the issue of Blair not going. What would Blair have done? I suspect he would have let him resign.

I have an interest in the antics of animal rights loonies as you know. There are two stories concerning this issue in the news currently. The first became headline news in late 2004 when the grave of Gladys Hammond was dug up and the body srtolen. Ms Hammond was the mother-in-law of the owner of a farm that bred guinnea pigs which were sold to animal testing labs. The grave robbers attempted to blackmail the Hammond family, promising the return of her remains only when moves to close the guinnea pig farm were made. The farm has since closed, and a tip off did result in the discovery of Gladys Hammond's body. It's not very clear whether the farm closed as the result of pressure from animal rights loonies or other reasons. Four people are awaiting sentencing now for the campaign to intimidate and blackmail the Hammond family.

I'm astounded that even animal rights loonies are prepared to rob graves over guinnea pig testing. It now seems likely that three of the four accused can expect jail terms of 12 years, the other was the one who tipped off the police about the stolen body, and can expect 6 years. Martyrdom over guinnea pigs, unbelievable.

The second story concerns letters send by the Campaign Against Huntingdon Life Sciences to shareholders of GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) informing them that their personal details will be published on the internet unless they sell the shares. This is complicated, so pay attention. GlaxoSmithKline is a large drug company and a business partner of Huntingdon Life Sciences, who perform animal testing. A significant number of shareholders were sent letters and telling them they had two weeks in which to sell the shares.

There has been an effort made to protect the privacy of shareholders but the scum sending the letters already seem to have addresses, so I am guessing that it's too late. I wonder how they would ascertain whether shareholders had sold their shares. Also, if shares are sold, does this mean that the buyers of the shares become targets? Will this essentially go on forever? Usually I can laugh at animal rights idiots because they are just idiots. Sadly, these idiots appear to be really vindictive idiots.

What the hell does "making indecent images of children" mean? I just read that actor Chris Langham has been charged with this offence. I think Gary Glitter was also charged with this. What is it? Does it mean pasting a picture of a child's head onto a picture of a naked adult's body? If that is the case, why the hell is it illegal? Is it drawing a picture of a naked child? Again, if so, why is it illegal? In neither of those cases has a child been abused. I can't see how a child can ever be abused in the "making of indecent images" unless it means taking pictures of naked children.

I'm still here contracting in South Wales and I just heard that they want to extend my contract again to the third week of June. I suppose this is good, but frankly I'm amazed since I'm not actually doing anything.

Should know better

I just got a note from Universtity chum Dickie who claims that at least some biometric readers should work. Dickie, you're a cybernetics grad and should know better. Would you really trust any reader to be 100% accurate? That's not the point anyway. Even if we can build a good biometric device, it remains insecure. It may be able to recognise you every time, but there is always the chance that it will be compromised. The people stiffed by the Shell chip and pin scam will now have to change their pins because they have been stolen. It's a pain in the arse, but it can be done. What if they had to change their fingerprints?

There's been a story running in the British press for a few days about a hacker, Gary McKinnon from London, who got caught accessing machines beonging to NASA and other American government organisations. He's not a very good hacker. Over and above the fact that he managed to get himself caught, he wasn't employing any great skill to access these machines. He was just using a simple script to find insecure machines and then have a root around them. He got caught when someone noticed that a Windows PC appeared to be possessed because he was controlling it remotely. I told you he wasn't that smart.

McKinnon's main crime would appeasr to be that he has embarrassed some military organisations that really should have known better than to leave insecure machines lying around on a public network. They want him extradited. There is also some talk of damage to machines or data. McKinnon of course does not want to be extradited, and who can blame him. His defence is based upon the idea that, although he knew he was doing something wrong, it was honourable because he was researching surpressed technologies. Yes, he's claiming that the American government is keeping evidence of alien technology on insecure computers. This could either be a very clever defence with which he hopes to fool the authorities into thinking he's a UFO nutter not worth bothering with, or he really is as dumb as he sounds. Based on his hacking technique, I think my money is on the latter.

I dont think this defence stands a hope in hell actually, because he has to admit the hacking offences to make it work. He also apparently has zero evidence of the UFO technology he uncovered.

There is more hype in the press today about sex trafficing. Apparently UK police have "rescued" 19 women across Britain in raids on brothels. This story seems to sugegst that women are being smuggled into the country by ruthless gangs, and being made to work as prostitutes. I've said before that I don't believe it. It's possible that women are being smuggled into this country and being offered work in the sex industry. But you can't easily force anyone into it! You can't stop women walking out of the door, going to the police, climbing out of the lavatory window, or asking their clients for help if they are being kept captive. It's ridiculous to suggest you can. These women are willing participants, whatever they tell the police when they are "rescued". Why am I the only one who can see this?

Brittany Spears is pregnant again. Someone ought to tell her what's causing it.

Ruth Kelly was appointed Community and Local Government Secretary just a few days ago by Tony Blair. This was slightly controversial since she doesn't have a great record as eduction secretary, and her new role is really taking over from Prescott who was all but sacked from the post. Now I don't know what "Community and Local Government Secretary" really means, but it seems to have something to do with anti discrimination policy, at least partly. This is an issue since Ms Kelly is a devout Catholic apparently. She has a habit of avoiding votes on issues such as age of consent, civil partnerships, and gay adoption. Yesterday she refused to discuss whether she thought homosexuality was a sin. People are now suggesting that we have a minister who's personal views differ significantly from those of her department.

Rubber

Before we start today I need to make it clear that the thing for removing pencil marks from paper is known as an "eraser" in US parlance, and a "rubber" by the British. I mention this so that readers don't later think I am talking about a condom (or rubber in US parlance) when in fact I mean a rubber (eraser in US parlance). All will become clear.

My son is confused. He's taken to sleeping from lunchtime until about midnight, and staying awake for the rest of the time. I think he's nocternal. I'm wondering whether he is a vampire or something.

David Blaine has failed in his goldfish bowl stunt after blacking out during his escape attempt. Actually, the fact that he failed makes me think that it was in fact more difficult than I originally thought. He managed to hold his breath for over 7 minutes, which is I suppose quite a feat, even if he was breathing an oxygen rich mixture. I timed myself and managed 90 seconds yesterday. I wasn't trained by Navy seals of course. What I really want to know is why the rescue divers were wearing silver suits. Did they really need suits? David Blaine didn't have one.

I know I've been rambling on about Tony Blair endlessly for the past week or so, but I need to say something else. There is much unrest in the Labour party after the disasterous performance in local elections. Blair seems to be taking the blame for this, and his own party is calling for him to step down. It has long been assumed that his successor will be Gordon Brown. Blair obviously does not want to go however, and one has to ask the question, is it because he wants to keep his job, or because he doesn't want Gordon to take over? It is well known that Brown and Blair have differences of political opinion. The Telegraph sums it up nicely in an editorial this morning, essentially postulating that Blair doesn't want to hand over to Brown because he doesn't trust him to continue with the reforms, and Brown wants him to go as soon as possible because he thinks Blair is going to scuttle the party just before the next election, not giving him a chance at play PM.

I've discovered that J K Rowling has a really neat Flash website. There are all sorts of little things hidden in various places. I have 5 things in my scrapbook now. I still can't get anywhere with the game however. If you click on the rubber, it takes you to a room with a window, a locked door, a lightswitch, and some coloured liquids. I can't get anywhere with it and it's frustrating. So if anyone can shed some light on it, that would be great. I can trade secrets. I also have no idea what the jumbled words at the bottom of the rubbish page are, click on the sharpener to get there.

There's an interesting case happening in Britain now involving the Shell fuel company. Apparently Shell has stopped using chip and pin payment methods in hundreds of fuel stations because the system has been compromised and substantial amounts of money have been removed from customers' accounts. Details are a bit sparse, but that's to be expected. It would be foolish to tell us how the crime was committed. It is however, a perfect example of how technology designed to make something more secure has done precisely the opposite.

In case you don't know, chip and pin payment is now ubiquitous in UK. If you pay with plastic, you are required to punch in a pin number to verify the card rather than sign a piece of paper.

In my view a hand written signiture is very secure. While it was apparently possible to steal a significant number of pin numbers, it would be extremely difficult to steal a lot of signitures. Also, while the average person can generally recognise a forgery of their own signiture very quickly, and therfore make a challenge based on the evidence of a signed payment slip, the customer has no such ability to challenge someone that has entered the correct pin. And of course, if you have someone's pin number, it's very easy to punch it in. If you have their signiture, it's much harder work.

I once worked in a security role for a financial organisation. Everyone had their own password to log on to the network every morning. It was noticed that people weren't changing their password, so a policy was put in place to make passwords expire every 4 weeks. When the policy was implemented, people did change their passwords, but then changed them straight back again. So a new policy was implemented. No password could be used twice in a 12 month period. People started using password1, password2 etc. So the policy was changed again. No password with fragments similar to a previous password could be used. So people started using passwords like January, February and so on. So they changed the policy again. There was a list of banned words drawn up that couldn't be used a password or a password fragment. That's when people satrted writing down their password. And that was deemed a success because people were forced to use a different password every month. Of course, they were also writing them down inside the front cover of their desk diary as well by that time.

Yawn

The weekend has been long and tiring. My parents showed up on Friday and that was good. They looked after their grandson while I was at work and the dragon went for her post natal appointment. I think that is the frst time we have actually left him completely with someone else. We then did the family thing and went to the park for the afternoon. It was a nice day, unlike today which is foul.

I've had a couple of pooh incidents this weekend. Neither were funny at the time, but with hindsight, they both have entertainment value. Picture the scene; it's bathtime on Saturday evening, and I'm on duty. I filled his little bathtub, undressed him, and went to check the water temperature. It was an elementary mistake, I should have known better. Never leave a naked child on a white towel, even for an second while your back is turned. I returned to find a huge steaming turd that wasn't there 15 seconds earlier. He'd put both feet in it and kicked it round the room. I don't know why I removed the nappy. There was a tiny pooh in there. I asked him if he'd finished and I swear he nodded. I think the little insect did it on purpose. I must have screamed, though I don't remember it, because the dragon came rushing in asking if I'd dropped him.

The second incident occured yesterday lunchtime. I was feeding him. There were familiar noises from the nappy region and a vociferous odour. I have concluded that it is not advisable to change nappies midway through a feed as there is an increased vomit risk. The odour was simply too pungent to ignore however, and I went for it. We don't have a changing mat. Usually I just put him on his back and contain everything in his old nappy. For some reason however, the cosmic forces spoke to me yesterday and told me to put him on a newspaper. I'm glad they did. Somehow he managed to shit about 50% of his own bodyweight. It literally exploded out of his nappy as I removed it. It actually emerged from under the wasteband and squirted up his back. I don't want to talk about it. I had to change his clothes and take him for another bath. It was the only way to clean him up.

The extent of the government's huge local election losses last week are still headline news today. Ultimately Labour lost more than 300 seats and polled only 26% of the vote. In contrast, the Conservative party gained more than 300 seats and polled 40%. It couldn't really have been much worse for Labour. The Conservatives would like to have made more ground in the Northern urban areas, and the Lib Dems would like to have won a few more seats in general. Blair responded to the problem with a radical cabinet reshuffle. It hasn't helped however, and a large number of his own MPs are revolting. At his press conference this morning, Tony was sweating prefusely and attempting to stand firm in his decision to keep his timetable for moving on a secret. I think there will be a contest forced pretty soon.

David Blaine finishes his goldfish bowl stunt today and evryone is very worried about his peeling skin - yawn.

It's late and I'm going to bed. I hope I get some sleep tonight.

Meltdown

The Labour party has been comprehensively mauled in local elections. They knew it would be a bad night. They hoped it would be better than it was. They lost over 250 seats, most of which went to the conservatives. The Lib Dems won a few, but nothing very significant, especially when you consider that they usually do well in local elections. Turnout was somewhere around 35% which is appalling, but I can't really complain because I didn't vote myself. I would have voted had I been on the electoral role, but I wasn't, and after the stress it caused me last time I tried to get a vote, I wasn't up for tring it again. As an evangelical anti labour type, it was good news as far as I was concerned. The only worrying development was the success of the BNP. They won 11 seats.

The BNP claims that it is not a racist movement, but in case you were in any doubt, you should take notice of what Simon Smith, who won a BNP seat in Tipton said, "I am pleased to have won in Tipton because it is a very Anglo-Saxon and traditional area". Anyone who voted BNP should be ashamed of themselves. I still think they'll die down after a few months, but I can't deny that they bother me. With any luck Griffin will end up in prison before too long and the party will fall apart.

Blair is currently reshuffling his cabinet, an act which former minister Frank Dobson likened to "rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic. Frank Dobson was once a buddy of Mr Blair. In fact Blair wanted him to take on the London Mayor job. Dobson quit his ministerial post to do it, but then failed to get elected because Red Ken Livingston, standing as an independent candidate, beat him. So far we know that Margaret Beckett is to become Foreign Secretary (promotion for ballsing up farm susidies) and former foreign secretary Jack Straw gets demoted to leader of the house. Charles Clarke is sacked as home secretary, to be replaced by John Reid (wasn't he recently found in posession of dope?). Geoff Hoon is to become Euro minister. John Prescott is to remain as Deputy PM but lose his office. So I don't know who the defence secretary is now, or what will happen to Ruth Kelly, Patricia Hewitt, or Tessa Jowell.

January Girl pointed out yesterday that when Patrick McGoohan asks, "Who is number 1?", that the answer given is ambiguous. It could be saying "You are number 6", or "you are, number 6". I've had this discussion with various people myself. I really do need to see the final episode. I have a feeling that the final episode was rushed and came sooner than it should due to a budget cut. I do know that 17 episodes were made, which is an odd number. Three series would usually be 18 episodes. Anyone who has never seen The Prisoner is now wondering what the hell I'm droning on about.

Chilli

Well voting is underway in England now. The Labour party is geared up for an embarrassing result, but at least one political commentator yesterday expressed some admiration for the way Blair faced the situiation at PMs questions. I didn't think he performed very well. He blamed everyone else for the balls up his own government have made, and then acted like he was angry that anyone could think otherwise. There is a feeling that Blair will be reshuffling his cabinet after the results come in and that Clarke, Prescott, and Hewitt will be casualties. There is also a question about who will be brought in to replace these clowns, since there are very few able ministers left now that haven't already been disgraced in some way. I wonder if he'll try and bring Blunkett back again.

I should be voting today, but I got so angry with the electoral role people while trying to vote from abroad that I simply didn't bother this time. I know, shameful, but there you go. I was half hoping that I would get voting papers for the previous tennants of my house, but I haven't, so I can't use those. It's probably treason or something anyway.

I've just read that yet another cabinet minister, this time Peter Hain, Welsh secretary, is in trouble. He's been accused of offering the Late Peter Law MP a peerage in exchange for not standing for election against Labour. Law died last week and became something of a celebrity when he left the Labour party and stood for election as an independent candidate against the Labour party and won.

A Picasso painting has just sold in New York for over $95 million. Silly money, it's just a painting. I t was sold to an anonymous buyer which strikes me as odd. There are pictures of this man, who apparently has $100 million spare, and no one knows who he is. I suppose he could be a representative of Bill Gates or something.

I've just heard that Sky TV is intending to remake the Prisoner series from the 60s. I was a fan, though I'm not quite old enough to have seen the original run from 1967, which ran for 17 episodes. I think a remake would be very dangerous. No one has ever really been able to quite fully explain the Prisoner, and I think trying to remake it will probably be a total disaster. The only way to save it would be to draft in Patrick McGoohan who was apparently the only person who really understood what was going on in the original. I say don't do it. On a side note, I've never seen the final episode and I think I need to get that from somewhere before I watch the new remake. I will watch the remake, but I think I'll hate it.

Apparently a 63 year old British woman is about to become the oldest woman to give birth in Britain. I can't say I have any strong feelings, but judging by the comments made, many people do. I'd question whether a 63 year old woman is fit enough. I'm 38 and completely shagged out. The little soldier only got us up once last night however and I'm hoping this is a turning point.

horse, stable, door, and bolted

OK, so now Charles Clarke is saying he wants tough new measures to ensure that foreign offenders in British jails are considered for deportation automatically. The words horse, stable, door, and bolted, all come to mind. He is also in trouble over an offender that was considered for deportation back to Somalia. It was deemed inappropriate to send the man back to Somalia, so he stayed and has since been implicated in the death of a police woman.

The BBC has broadcast an interview with Garry Glitter, currently in a Cambodian prison for child sex crimes. He is planning an appeal I think. I saw the interview yesterday in which Glitter denies any wrong doing. I was surprised by the interview, but I didn't really see anything wrong with interviewing him. I'd say prisoners should have a right to defend themselves. There were however quite a few complaints. People seem to think that a convicted paedophile should not be given a platform upon which to protest his innocence.

The thing that struck me most about the interview was the evaisive way in which Glitter answered questions. When asked if he had ever had sex with an underage girl in Cambodia, he replied by saying that he had never knowingly done so. He was clearly trying to choose his words very carefully, but the long pauses made him look nervous. When pressed on the underage girl issue he went on to explain that he wasn't aware of the age of consent in Cambodia until very recently. It made him look guilty.

It seems that Keith Richards who fell out of a coconut tree earlier this week, is suffering from bleeding inside his skull and will have to have the blood drained. I still want to know the whole story here.

I have been applying for jobs because the current contract ends at the end of May. I got a call yesterday about a job I applied for in Bristol, but they said they would call back today and didn't. I guess that means they don't want me. I'm not down hearted though. There are other jobs out there. I'm a bit fed up with the current contract because I've run out of work. I guess it's OK though. They have to keep paying me until June.

I planted some more white radish and more spinach in the garden this week. The first batches are already well on the way. I also planted a couple of strawberry plants, but I've never done that before and I don't know how they are going to go. The tomatoes are begining to flower in the conservatory and I have three really healthy looking chilli plants right here in the office. I want to take some pictures of the chillis because they look realy impressive. It is however late and I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow.

Goodnight

3.7kg

Well it's Tuesday and this is the first new entry since last Thursday. I did attempt to write a Friday entry, but it just didn't happen. We went to the health clinic on Friday afternoon and time ran short. Baby Angus is now over 3.7 kg. Yesterday was of course a bank holiday. I almost didn't realise that it was a holiday in fact. Luckily I didn't drive all the way here yesterday only to turn back.

I've had a stroke of luck. I went to the coffee machine and found that someone had left £1 in there. I did have an attack of conscience, but I really couldn't see who it belonged to. I did try. So I thought I should give it to charity. Then I thought I should maybe buy a lottery ticket. I figure a lottery ticket is a good option because it goes to good causes anyway, and it gives me the chance of winning huge amounts of cash. So I'm thinking about it. It's on my desk looking at me as I type this.

I've come to the conclusion that Tony Blair is attempting to keep his cabinet together until after the local elections on Thursday. That could backfire on him. He really wouldn't want Charles Clarke or John Prescott to leave office on the morning of the elections. It would seem however that both Prescott and Clarke are going to have to work very hard to keep their jobs. I think Clarke's position in particular looks untennable. New allegations about Prescott's private life were splashed over the weekend papers however, and that won't help his case. It must be pretty horrible being his wife right now.

David Blaine is starting his week long stunt in a glass ball. I'm not impressed with this. I don't see that it's very difficult to scuba dive for a week. Even the world record breath holding attempt at the end isn't as incredible as it could be. I'm guessing he's going to be breathing an oxygen rich mixture, which means he can last longer than someone breathing air. We're told that he has purged his system so that he won't have to, well crap, while he's in there. We're also told that he'll be fed through a tube however, which makes me think that this is redundant, and also makes me wonder how he's going to stage manage his waste disposal. There has to be some right? Anyway, I won't be staying up to watch this one.

Apparently Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones has left hospital. He was apparently treated for concussion after falling out of a coconut tree. Details appear to be sketchy but I'm willing to bet there were some controlled substances at work here. What's a man that age doing up a tree?