Mysterious

I'm not sure how long I have to write this today as I have to go out on a client visit shortly.

I was awoken by a phone call at 4 am last night. I have no idea who it was. It stopped before I got there and there was no number. I thought there had been a family emergency or something, but no emergency e-mail was waiting for me this morning, so I guess we should put it down to a wrong number.

There's a report on the BBC web site today that claims a study shows that women are being pushed into careers that are traditionally thought of as female. This kind of thing annoys me. Don't get me wrong here, I'm all for women having the the same career opportunities as men, but just because women tend to choose nursing and not tyre and exhaust fitting, it doesn't mean that anyone is forcing women into anything. It may just be that women don't like tyre and exhaust fitting. Men and women are different, and it goes further than standing up to pee and bumps in the sweater.

The new study claims that only 22 women took up a plumbing apprenticeship in England last year, compared to 3,000 men. Why is that so abhorrant? It's not as if plumbing is an elite career that requires a university education and 7 years training. If one considers the medical profession, which is an elite career and does require extensive training and a university education, I would suggest that women are welcomed in the same way men are. The same could be said about the legal profession. I would also suggest that many parents would be very pleased if their daughter chose medicine or law as a career.

So are women being pushed into jobs that are traditionally feminine and being elbowed out of traditionally male dominated careers? Or is the feminist movement attempting to push women into careers that they don't want in an effort to prove their own 'we can do anything' philosophy. I know that sounds sexist but it's really not. If women want to go into plumbing that's great. If they don't, who cares? Click!

The above was written at lunchtime. It's now 10:25pm. The client vistit this afternoon turned into an exercise in futility. I was supposed to go there to find out about some software and produce a user manual for it. It seems that they couldn'tactually find any software however and I have some doubts as to whether it actually exists at all. What a waste of time. I also have to work this weekend to complete a motherboard manual and I really could have done without the pointless excursion.

Nothing else to report.

Knob Head

First a note to follow on from yesterday. Yes Abby, you are absolutely correct, WMDs were not the only reason the US attacked Iraq. No other reason was put to the Security Council however. Had the US gone to the Security Council with an argument about regime change, maybe the council might have sanctioned an invasion. Had the US claimed that an invasion was necessary to relieve tension on the Iran-Iraq border, they may have had a favourable response. But they didn't. They went to the Security Council and claimed Saddam was a military threat. The Security Council disagreed, quite rightly as it turns out, and overturned the resolution. Consquently, Iraq was invaded against the wishes of the UN and China will undoubtedly bring this up if/when accused of the same thing. As I have said here before, the most worrying thng about the entire Iraq fiasco is the fact that the most powerful nation in the world undermined the UN.

I meant to mention yesterday that I saw the movie "Ray". I've been purposely avoiding this film because Ray Charles was something of a hero of mine and bios tend to have a way of destroying my illusions about people. However, it was showing on the plane from Bankok to London, so I thought I'd give it a go, and I'm very glad I did. Charles wasn't portrayed as a God that could do no wrong, but I still came away thinking he was fairly cool. I knew he had had a drug problem in his past, though not the extent of it. I hadn't realised that he was a womaniser. It was brilliantly done anyway, and Jamie Foxx got it just about exactly right. I recommend it. I'd give it 8.5/10.

The above two paragraphs were written at the office, but due to horrendous amount of work, that's all I had time to write. I didn't leave the office until about 7.15 and I was quite looking forward to coming home and relaxing, finishing off this entry etc. Upon reaching the apartment however, I realised that I couldn't get in due to the fact that my keys were in my jacket pocket on the other side of the door.

The fact that it was piddling down with rain in Taipei and the Dragon was on the other side of the city teaching English did little to lift my mood. I had to settle myself in a convenient coffee shop for an hour while I waited for the Dragon to return with her keys. And did I get any sympathy from her? Well sort of, she made a colourful notice for the door which states in warm, friendly letters:

In other news, it's Mother's birthday, so happy birthday Mother.

I'm back, and I'm bigger than a bread box

Well I'm back and I will be posting some pictures of our adventures in the Mother Country as soon as I have a moment. Maybe tonight, who knows.

Britain was pertty much the same as I remember it. Mother's vision is still deteriorating, but she will be seeing a doctor soon about some operations. She's really not fit enough to drive any more. Father, 70 this year, still drives like I did when I was 17.

We spent a day in London trying to convince the Taiwan representative office that we are in fact married. We had to have our British marriage certificate authenticated by the Foreign and Commonwealth Ofice, and then take it to the Taian Representative Office. They told us at first that they could simply stamp it and then we could take it back to Taiwan to have our marriage legalised here. That would cost 10 pounds. Then they decided that they also needed to see the Dragon's family record from Taipei and it would cost 15 pounds. We didn't bring her family record because, foolishly, we thought it unlikely that the Taiwan office would need to authenticate something issued by the Taiwanese authorities. We started a fight about thte issue between the woman on the desk and her manager. Andy didn't have to provide this document you see. We agreed to provide the document by fax.

To actually get a visa based on my marriage I now have to provide a clean criminal record and have a health check. This seems odd to me since I can get a visa for the same length of time, based on my work permit without either of these. I also have to get the clean criminal record authenticated by both the FCO and TRO in London again. I think we can do this by mail however. The incompetance is breath-taking.

On a side note. We both found London very unpleasant this time. I was brought up fairly close to London and my family is from the London area. For me it's never been the romantic, exciting, historic city that it is for some people, but I have always rather liked visiting. This time however there was no time for doing anything nice. The underground was dirty and crowded. People were rude, prices were high, and the monuments were just monuments. I wouldn't want to live there.

Dickie's wedding was great. In true Dickie style it was badly organised and that just added to the enjoyment. Too much was drunk, obscene pictures were taken using the disposable camera left on our table (not by me), and I think just about everyone got lost looking for the hotel. There was also hysterical Scottish dancing. The hotel was in fact very nice indeed. I have some pictures and a little video footage which may appear on the website this week if I get a chance. I think this week will be busy as we prepare for our move to Hsin Tien.

I want to make a quick reference to something Abby said before I left. I asked, if China attacked Taiwan, how could the US justify defending Taiwan after they invaded Iraq? I wasn't suggesting that an invasion of Taiwan was the same as an invasion of Iraq. I didn't make my point very clearly. So here it is again:

The US and China are both key members of the UN and as such have to abide by UN legislation which clearly states that no-one can attack anyone else except in self defence or when specificaly sanctioned by the Security Council. The US invaded Iraq without Security Council sanction. Although the US claimed that a previous resolution gave them the right to attack, that resolution later turned out to be based on the false premise that weapons of mass destruction were being kept there illegally. If China was to attack Taiwan, the US would be forced to defend the island. US legislation already exists for this purpose. China would then question why the US was being agressive and the US would have to claim that they were defending Taiwan from an invasion that contravened the UN members charter. China would then turn round and claim that the US did exactly the same when they invaded Iraq, and they would be 100% correct.

Michael Jackson is in trouble again. I think it's strange how this trial is swinging one way and then the other so violently. Last week I was thinking that Jackson was probably innocent because the accusing witness was clearly unreliable. This week I am thinking maybe I was wrong as previous accusations leak out. Today it seems that previous accusations against MJ are to be used in court and include some very specific descriptions of abuse. This can't be good news for the defence team.

Jonathan King, who has spent over three years in jail after sex abuse accusations is to be released this week. I don't think he should ever have been jailed since he was defending himself from accusations of abuse that may or may not have taken place 30 years earlier. He appears defiant however, which I think is a good thing.

Numbers

Yesterday I managed to leave my phone at work. This is a bigger issue than you might think because all the phone numbers I need are stored on my phone. I tried to call the office to see if I had left it on my desk, but of course there was no-one on the switchboard to answer my call at that time and I just got piped music. I couldn't cal anyone on their cel phones because all the numbers were in my phone. I decided it was too late to go back for it, so I left it. It was still here this morning under my mountain of paperwork.

The biggest problem was calling the Dragon to tell her that my phone was at work. She usually calls me to meet her at the station when she finishes work you see. I couldn't remember her number and I had to spend quite some time rifling through wallets and address books looking for it. This is an example of how technology isn't helping. I used to be able to remember hundreds of numbers in the old days when one actually had to dial them. Now I can't even remember my wife's.

I also wrote half a journal entry yesterday and left that at work with my phone. The Alzheimer's is obviously finally kicking in. I thought I had saved it to my flash disk and was intending to finish it at home. I had in fact saved it to my hard disk at work however, so that idea died also. It's been a bad week but it is however Friday, and tonight we fly to England. Vito wants me to buy him a pink shirt he saw on the internet. Sally wants tea, and Kally wants a policeman. I'm not sure about quarantine regulations on the last one. I've hired us a little car to zip around England in. That means there doesn't have to be any long, uncomfortable farewells at the airport because we can take ourselves there. I don't think there will be any diary entries or website changes for a few days. We get back to Taipei on 27 March.

I'm taking very boring reading material with me on this flight in the hope that I'll eventually fall asleep. I'm no good at sleeping on planes, trains, cars, any kind of vehicle actually.

It seems that from today, mother's can legally breast feed in public in Scotland. Apparently anyone that tries to stop a mother from breast-feeding can be fined up to 2,500 pounds. I can't see that this is really a big issue actually. Breast-feeding would seem to be fairly commonplace in Britain and I don't recall ever seeing anyone complain about it. But there you go. Apparently a law is required. Click.

I can't find anything else even remotely interesting in the news today. There is still much talk here of whether China is likely to invade Taiwan. I personally think they are going to begin putting pressure on fairly soon. I hate the thought of this island, which has been my home for more than three years, being taken over by a government with one of the worst human rights records in history. I originally thought that China would avoid any kind of Taiwan conflict so close to the Beijing Olympics, but I'm beginning to change my mind. Why else would they start pushing legislation through? My boss came up with a strange thought about this. He said that the US, which has pledged to support Taiwan if a conflict is started, can't very well argue that China's invasion of Taiwan is morally wrong after they themselves invaded Iraq. I'm not sure his argument really stands up, but I bet China would use it as justification. Some political commentators are saying that the ideal moment for China to launch it's attack will come this year as it builds its military capacity and the US is still picking up the pieces in the middle east. It's also been suggested that an attack sooner rather than later would more likely be forgotten by the 2008 Olympics. Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on the Olympic thing. It's just a few games after all.

A huge rally has been organised here next weekend. The people of Taiwan don't like the Chinese government. It's strange to me however, that the average Taiwanese citizen has no real desire for independence either. They are mostly willing to retain the status quo rather than risk upsetting their huge neighbour. If hey had to make a choice, I think they would chose independence, but that is just my guess. The rally is more a measure of Taiwan's anger at Chinese muscle flexing, than a call for a war of independence. The whole situation scares me. There are people I love here.

Mouses

We're doing well with the search engines. We are now recognised by Google, Yahoo, and AltaVista. We don't get any result from MSN or AskJeeves however. I still think this is a good record. We're only a few weeks old after all.

Apparently we have a mouse problem at the office. This is in fact not the first rodent issue we've had here. Way back when I was working ont he 6th floor we had rats. I shit you not ladies and gentlemen. We caught one about the size of a Shetland pony. The sticky rodent catching boards are out again in force.

My brother has written to me and asked that we bring him a new iPOD. I don't think I have time to go there tonight, so it may have to wait until our next trip. I wonder whether he's really thought baout it anyway. What does anyone want with a 60GB iPOD photo? Why do you need to carry thousands of pictures around with you?

I've come to the conclusion that Michael Jackson probably didn't do it, or at least that his accuser is exagerating. The defence is making Gavin Arviso look like a puppet.

This is al I got time to write yesterday (Thursday) for reasons that I may, or may not go into later.

No, she didn't whine

I just got an anonymous comment on the DongXi version of this journal. That's good, we like comments. But please don't leave any unkind comments because I've just realised that I don't know how to delete them from there. I should work that out really shouldn't I. And no, Norah most certainly didn't whine. In fact, I'd say she rocked.

Today I woke up to discover sunlight streaming through the windows. Now that's something I havent' seen for a while. I'm actually typing this at lunchtime in the office and I can see that the sun is still shining. Spring at last.

Got mail from Andy yesterday. He sent advice on what we have to do to get our marriage recognised by Taiwan auhorities. Sounds like it's about as easy as pulling one's foreskin over one's head to keep one's ears warm. The dragon has also been to the family register place here to ask what they want. They appear to have upset her and she shouted at them. This is good. I hate bad service and I don't like to see people putting up with it. Has anyone noticed by the way that there are now three entries in the Dragon's journal. The last one she must have done all by herself I think. Click. You have to speak Chinese.

I think I have all the bugs worked out of the website now and I'm free to work on some new stuff. I'm getting quite into it. We are now known to Yahoo it seems.

I notice that the Catholic church has suddenly become very defensive about the Da Vinci Code and the "lies" within. The fact that they are making such a fuss would seem to me to be significant. I am not sure I read anything in The Da Vinci Code that I haven't heard put forward as a theory elsewhere. I'm quite sure that I've heard that Christ married Mary Magdelane for instance. I was also aware that the gospels we see today didn't appear for several hundred years after the supposed death of Christ. I don't think anyone would argue that that the church has demonised sex and women for centuries. So what exactly are the lies here? I'm hearing a lot of people bleating, but I can't hear what they're saying.

It's interesting to note that the author claims to be a Christian. It's also worth noting that it's not well written and has the worst ending in history. The most ironic thing about this whole argument though is that the Christians are claiming that this book is evil because it's full of lies. Whereas we all know that the bible is absolutely accurate when it puts the age of the earth at 6,000 years, tells us that very kind of animal on earth was put onto a single boat by Noah, and that evolution is all wrong.

I hate the book, but sorry, I love that it's upset the church.

Church fights Da Vinci Code novel
The Da Vinci Code Row.

I've been writing subtitles today for a promotional video for a Scientology training school. I already thought Scientologists were mad, but after subjecting myself to this particular work, I have come to the conclusion that all Scientologists are actually taking illegal mind altering substances. My favourite quote from the video:

"Delivered in an exact sequence L11, L10, and then L12, they unleash potentials not seen in this sector of the galaxy for a very long time."

This line was delivered by a middle aged man in an immaculately tailoired, bright green suit. Beyond scary ladies and gentlemen.

The Ponce of Wales has attended a state banquet without Ms Parker-Bowels. It's looking more and more like her Majasty really doesn't approve of her son's choice of partner. The palace has once again been quick to deny that this was any kind of snub, but one would think that the palace would stop doing things like this if they really wanted to end the speculation. As the BBC pointed out, Diana Spencer was welcomed to a similar banquet 1 month ahead of her marraige to big ears in 1981.

Dragons are lucky

She was good you know. In fact she was really good. It was one of those relaxed concerts. There appeared to be no real play order. You could see them deciding what to play next as they went along. And there were some realy heavy, rocky numbers thrown in. I really wasn't expecting that. The dragon surprised me. I knew she liked the romantic ballads, but she really went for the heavy stuff too.

As is usual for a Taiwanse event like this, only half the audiance were seated by the time the show started, despite the fact that it kicked off late. It always amazes me that Taiwanese are willing to pay for tickets and then arrive anytime throughout the first half. Cell phones going off are also a comon feature of films, concerts, plays etc. I am happy to say that last night I heard none however.

I managed to get a few pictures and even a little video. I was probably not supposed to video, but no-one stopped me and it's not going to be for commercial use. My conscience is pretty clear. Here are some pictures:

I realise Abby that "Dragon" could be regarded as derogatory, but the irony of the fact that it's a lucky symbol out here in the Orient is amusing to me. My wife was actually born in a dragon year and she's very proud of it. She never tires of telling people about it. The Taiwanese are a supersticious lot and dragon people are considered very fortunate. Dragon people are often invited to new homes to bring luck. A dragon at one's wedding is also considered auspicious. Tiger people on the other hand are considered unlucky and are often not invited to weddings. I think that's a bit hard myself. I'm a sheep. I hate being a sheep. Sheep are stupid animals that follow each other aimlessly and walk into walls. But sheep are considered to be kind and gentle. Chicken people never stop talking and monkeys are hyperactive.

In the MJ trial it would appear that the accuser has now admitted that he told a teacher that accusations of molestation were false. I woudl say the defence were doing a very good job of making the star witness look unreliable.

I've just read that Apple has won the right to examine bloggers' e-mails to acertain who told them about corporate secrets that appeared in the blogs they wrote. This bothers me. I'm assuming none of these bloggers are actually employed by Apple. They therefore simply published something that someone told them, which may, or may not, have been an industrial secret. These bloggers cannot have made any agreement with Apple about what they can and can't say. What they said was not endangering anyone in any way as far as I can see. In fact, I would say that, if Appale can't keep its own bloody staff under control, that's an internal problem.

Have these bloggers done anything illegal? I can't see that they have. Yet they are having their privacy invaded by a huge company that is getting a lot of free publicity out of the issue. They should be ashamed of themselves. I was thinking of buying an iPOD. I've gone off the idea now.

We've been Googled

OK, the first thing to say is, not a lot hapened this weekend. We didn't go anywhere or see anyone. We did start packing things, which isn't much fun. The move to Hsin Tien will take place in April. But in preparation for our move to UK which I think will happen in December or January, we are already putting things into boxes. I think the dragon is feeling a bit stressed about this, the packing I mean.

On a distinctly positive note, we ate sushi last night which I think should be done at least once every weekend. We also consumed some fine chilli produced by my sister in law. She intends to take a trip down south to Kaoshung and sell it to people attending a festival of some sort there. Not sure when it is, but the chilli is good folks, so go and try it if you're in the area.

DongXi.org managed to find it's way onto Google this weekend. The site did undergo a few minor updates which introduced some bugs. So, I hope to have time to put that right tomorrow. No time tonight because we're going to see Norah. I hope I can get a few pictures while we are there. The dragon is very excited about this but is pretending to be very casual about it.

I found a pirate copy of the new, as yet unreleased, Dr Who episode over the weekend. I realise that I shouldn't really be downloading such things, but I'm not in the UK and therefore don't have access to the BBC. And I still do pay tax there, so I think I'm entitled to view the product of the state network. It's not good, the episode I mean. Maybe it's supposed to be a bit stupid like Dr Who always was. But I was sort of hoping that it would be a little more sophisticated than shop mannequins coming to life. It does have promise though. I couldn't see the sets moving as the doors slammed. And Billie Piper was actually pretty good (has she put weight on?), as was Christopher Eccleston. I'm ging to reserve judgement on this one until I see some more episodes.

The Chinese anti secession legislation that would allow China to use force agianst Taiwan to prevent any chance of the island becoming independent, has been passed. I am wondering whether this is Beijing's first step towards an invasion. I can't think that China would attempt a stunt like this so close to the Beijing olympics. Would everyone have forgotten a conflict by 2008? The people of Taiwan are somewhere between angry and terrified. A rally, expected to attract hundreds of thousands of people is expected to take place on 26 March. That's the day we return to Taipei from London.

I am an outsider here, but I do know the people. I think the average Taiwanese person, while not wanting to be part of China, is willing to remain Chinese, at least in name, to avoid the conflict. No-one wants a war and Taiwan has seen its fair share of violence in the past. Some people can still remember the massacre that took place here in 1949. No-one really talks about the events which left thousands dead, though 28 February is set aside as a day of rememberance.

Few people realise that Taiwan has never really been ruled by China, despite China's claims that it is part of the mainland. After the war there was a very short period of Chinese rule after the island was taken from Japan. It was a disaster and culminated in the massacre mentioned above. Since then Taiwan has governed itself. Before the war it was a Japanese territory. Some would say that the Taiwanese feel more Japanese than Chinese. I think I would agree.

There is no time for any more today. Look out for tomorrow's report on the concert.

Pajamas

So Michael Jackson showed up at court in his pajamas and Judge Rodney agreed not to throw him in jail because he fell over while getting dressed and hurt his back!? Does that sound suspicious to anyone else? And hasn't Jackson heard of the telephone? Can't he call and explain where he is? From the footage I saw it appeared that even his own lawyer was unable to determine his whereabouts.

The news appears to be full of paedophiles today. On the BBC news website alone, in addition to the MJ case, there is the story of a 30 year old nurse who turned herself into the authorities and was jailed for 5 months when it became apparent that she had had sex with a 14 year old boy, a scout leader from Somerset who has been jailed after more than a thousand images were found on his computer, and a 53 year old man has been jailed in Nottingham for raping a 12 year old boy.

I take a dim view of people that abuse children, but I am of the opinion that this is becomming something of a witch hunt and the penalties appear to be both inconsistant and disproportionate. The scout leader mentioned above has been jailed for 8 months but has apparently never touched a child. The 30 year old nurse who had sex with a 14 year boy was jailed for only 5 months. Are we saying that the crime of viewing naked children is more heinous than the act of intercourse with a child? Perhaps the nurse committed a less heinous crime because the adult in this case was a female and the child male. Is the guy that viewed the child pornography more of a danger to children because he has a penis?

It seems to me that people can accept that young boys having sex, while undisirable, is largely understandable. Young girls having sex on the other hand would seem to be something far more anti social. It would also seem to me that sex crimes are far more socially acceptable when committed by a woman. In the case of the nurse above, the judge told her that the relationship was "inappropriate". On the other hand, the scout leader was told, "The more people like you who behave like you behaved means that there are more children that are abused". So the woman made a mistake and the the man perpetuates child abuse. Double standards? Have I missed something?

Nurse, 30, had sex with boy of 14
Jail for child porn scout leader

I'm glad to see that parliament is having great difficulty witht the new anti-terror legislation. I'm stilla t a loss as to why this is even being attempted. No-one supoprts it and it's a bit close to an election to be making enemies of the electorate isn't it? Going back to what my father says, it may be that the governement don't really care whether the bill gets passed or not, since they can claim that the opposition is weak on terrorism anyway. Very risky stategy I would have thought since the legislation is so unpopular. I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but thank god for the house of lords.

My boss just sent me this and I liked it so much I played it twice.

I think we are all going for a beer tonight on the way home from work. This is a good thing. It makes me glad I don't live in Utah.

Spell Checker

Well the Dragon managed to secure us some Norah Jones tickets. They weren't cheap, but they're good seats and word on the street is that the concert is worth seeing as they have capped admission to 6,000 people, and the emphasis is on audio quality. Look out for a report and pictures next week. Some surprise was expressed in this office when I mentioned my fondness for Norah Jones. Sumedha claims that most men "think she whines" and James claimed her music was borring, though he has no doubt that she is a talented musician. I wouldn't say she whines at all. I think she has a "follow me home and shag me" voice. I can understand the James argument. She's not borring to me, but she's not contempory in style.

By the way James. I listened to the Cake version of "I will survive" last night and it didn't really reach me. I do like the "Short Skirt" one though. I have to say that the Cake version of "I will survive" owes much to the House of the Dragon version with J on vocals. They are obviously attempting to emulate your style there. You might want to think about legal action.

The BBC are currently running a study about gender difefrences in brains, and I contributed yesterday. There is an on-line survey thing. It takes hours, but it's quite interesting and you don't have to complete it all at once. It investigates your style of thinking and places you on a male/female scale. I'm slightly worried because I am right in the very middle between male and female as far as my brain goes. It did tell me though that I scored high in the engineering and spacial awareness sections, which makes me more typically male. If you want to give it a try, Click...

I ran yesyterday's entry through the spell checker and there was one spelling mistake and one typo. I think the spelling mistake was a typo too but I can't be sure.

I have to write a user manual for a Motherboard in InDesign. I'm not really a big fan of InDesign, but that could be just because I'm not an experienced pilot. It's definitely the wrong tool for the job however. InDesign is not good at handling large amounts of text, nor is it good at tables. I also have a disk array to write up, but that is in FrameMaker and we love FrameMaker.

Norah's Coming!

So, I seem to have incurred the wrath of at least one Dan Brown fan. Let me explain myself here. The Da Vinci Code is exciting, compelling, and brilliantly researched. Good literature it is not, Brown is no Hemmingway, but I can forgive him that; few people are. However, the entire plot becomes farcical in the final 10 pages. The entire premise upon which the plot was built, was the assumption that Sauniere was the last surviving keeper of the secret. When it turned out that he wasn't, the idea that he went to so much trouble to pass the secret on in a secure manner becomes ridiculous. Unless someone can supply a reason that I have missed as to why Sauniere did what he did, then I am sticking with my feeling on this.

On an entirely different note, James says I should use a spell checker before I post these entries. He's probably right. Even if I was a world-class speller, which I am not, I still make typos. However, I treat spell checkers in much the same way as I treat elastic bow ties. It's the snob in me. I feel that one is degraded by not doing things properly. However, while I can tie a mean bow tie, I admit that my journal entries are error ridden. I'm torn now. I think I'll put this entry through the checker to determine how many errors there are, and then make a decision. I'd like to be good at spelling. What's the secret James?

Norah Jones is coming to Taiwan on Monday. Why did no-one tell me about this? I've just investigated tickets and there are a few left. The Dragon has a mission to secure some for us.

Has anyone noticed by the way, that the Dragon has actually got around to writing something on her journal page? Buggered if I know what it says. Click.

The covers of the new Harry Potter book have been released and can be seen here. I realise that not everyone gets as excited about things HP as I do, but there you go, my journal.

Just received a note from James. Believe me, I am not unaware of your fondness for double negatives. Why is "not unacquainted with the ways of men" a pathetic attempt at a euphemism? One can't go around calling the heir to the throne a poof you know.

We've had a stroke of luck in the furniture department. Someone wants to buy all of it. Which means we can now move without worrying about what to do with bed, couch, etc.

The Michael Jackson trial has heard of actual abuse for the first time, but it would seem that the defence are doing a fine job of portraying the accusing family as unreliable.

The US has spoken out against China's new legislation that would allow them to attack Taiwan. This is good news though I am doubtful that George even knows where Taiwan is. “Asia you say, is that near Mexico?"

I hate Dan Brown

I hate Dan Brown. I finished the Da Vinci Code last night. DO NOT READ IT, IT'S CRAP! And what's more, if you're anything like me, you won't realize it's crap until the last chapter. Normally I wouldn't write anything about a book or film here that gave any of the plot away, lest I ruin it for you people. However, in this case, I can't possibly ruin it any more than the author did, and I think I owe it to everyone. If you really want to read it, ignore the next 2 paragraphs.

The book begins with Jaques Sauniere getting himself murdered in the Louvre. It becomes evident in chapter 1 that he is desperately trying to pass on the secret of the location of the priory keystone to his Granddaughter because he alone knows where it is. The entire rest of the book follows his Granddaughter and Robert Langdon unravelling the secret over the next 48 hours, which involves recovering the keystone from a secure bank vault. The keystone reveals the location of the treasure. Let's not be too specific here.

The point is, they spend about 170 chapters lurching from mystery to mystery, only to discover, right at the end, that Sauniere's wife has come back from the dead, knew the location of the treasure all along, and confirms that there are other people in the Priory that can take over where her husband left off. presumeably that means that they are also privy to the secret. So why was Sauniere so desperate to pass on the secret? He could simply have arranged for the vault key to be passed to his wife or other priory members, with far less chance of compromising the secret. He could just have died without doing anything come to think of it, since his wife knew what the priory keystone held anyway. Crap ladies and Gentlemen, CRAP!

I feel cheated. I think I may sue. Actually, the end was so awful that I feel I may have missed something, and I'm torn between wanting to discover that something I missed, and feeling like an idiot, or just being depressed that I wasted a week of my life reading the drivel. How can anyone invest so much in creating an intricate setting for such a totally stupid plot?

I want to go to Utah. I have decided this after reading a report on The Inquirer explaining how they are attempting to prohibit internet porn in the state. Read the article here. So far the Utah Senate has approved legislation that will require all ISPs to censor websites that could be harmful to children. It will also require that e-mail servers and search engines filter out the same offensive material. The law is now being considered by the STate governor. I thought the Daily Herald made a good point when they stated, "creating a registry of Utah-based adult sites will not stop anybody from accessing online sex any more than standing chest deep in the Colorado River will stop its rush toward the Gulf of California. It's a pointless exercise, however well meaning."

It just so happens that Don in this very office is from Utah. I had the good sense to establish this fact before doing twenty minutes of stand-up on the subject. Apparently one can't buy sex toy's, any kind of printed porn, booze (except children strength beer), or even coffee very easily. He says it's clean and very safe, but "kinda boring".

I want to go there because I want to step back in time and see primitive people in their native habitats. I also think this is a wonderful marketing opportunity. I was thinking, you just need a large van with sides that fold down. You can then sell porn, sex toys, booze, and coffee on the side of the road. I think you'd make a killing.

I see that there have been two protests involving bare female breasts against the Ponce of Wales as he tours New Zealand and visits poor people. I'm not sure that Charles really cares for breasts, so it may not be the ideal protest from that point of view. But being a big fan of bouncy jubblies myself, I'm all for this type of thing. I recently read on the excellent A-List Gossip site, that Charles is "not unacquainted with the ways of men". I find this staement somewhat enigmatic, but I like it.

The Michael Jackson trial has heard evidence from the brother of the accuser and it would appear that MJ might have shown porn to the child. I can't see that he has actually been accused in court of anything I would consider deserving of a custodial sentence. Showing kids porn and giving them alcohol is irrisponsible, especially if they aren't your kids, but I'm not sure it's serious. I think it's looking good for MJ right now.

Rumble in the Night

Monday morning hair picture.



So, is it getting lighter?

Sunday morning, 3am, woken by bloody great earthquake. I don't mind earthquakes. I just wish they would arrive at civilized times. It was a 5.7 or 5.9, depending on which report one reads. That's a big one. Nothing broken though, just things falling on the floor. It was actually followed by a slightly smaller quake, 30 seconds later. They seem different in the dark. Sumedha says they are "spooky" when they come at night. I think the thought of having to run into the street straight from one's bed is what makes the difference.

But now it is Monday morning and the sun is shining, which is indeed welcome. I have missed the sun. It's still cold, but cold I can deal with. It's almost spring-like here.

I had to work on Saturday which screwed up any chance of doing anything exciting. I have a feeling I forgot to clock out, but I'm keeping quiet about that. Not a lot happened on Sunday either come to think of it. We did visit Gong Guang for a spot of shopping.

Got a call from the parents last night and it seems they have discovered this very journal. So in future I must be careful what I write. Or alternatively use it as a devish means of passing misinformation around.

You know, there are many things that I don't much like about this company, but I think the lavatory comes top of the list. It smells like the elephant house, it always looks disgustingly filthy, and there is only one cubicle for all the male staff. Actually there is another cubicle that houses one of those devices which is no more than a hole in the floor and two footprints, but I'm too scared to try that. It seems that every time I visit, there is something to offend me. Usually it's some bastard that has settled in the loan cubicle with a cigarette and a newspaper, sometimes it's the soap dispenser. The soap dispenser seldom actually contains soap and recently the little lever has jammed, so no soap comes out even when it does. On Saturday I became agressive with said lever and actually did mannage to obtian soap, about half a pint of it, all at once.

Today the lavatory reached a new level of offensive. On my second vist it locked me in. It was my second visit because a bastard with cigarette and newspaper had prevented my entry on the first attempt. I'm sure it was sabbotaged. The cubicle has one of those locking bolts. It's difficult to operate since the door doesn't fit properly, and this morning, as I was trying to force the little bolt into its hole, the knob came off and dropped on the floor. I heard it drop but I couldn't see it. I was sure it had gone under the door and out into the sea of urine beyond. I considered the possibilities. Do I wait for someone to come in and suffer the humiliation of attempting to explain what had happened and then wait for some 70 year old man with a hammer to release me an hour later? Do I climb over the partition and escape wihtout telling anyone? I decided to do what I came in for in the first place and think about it.

Well, my calm and collected approach paid off. I spied the missing knob on the floor, within reach, and I was able to screw it back into place and open the door. Still, not a good way to start the week.

I keep hearing that there are up to 200 Al Queada terrorists on our streets. I am not however hearing anything to support these claims. I don't think Sir John Stevens has the faintest idea how many terrorists there are on British streets. He doesn't even know how many illegal immigants there are. I wouldn't trust the British police to sit the right way round on a toilet seat. Look at this idiot with the gun. What the hell is he doing posing for pictures like that?




The most worrying news that emerged this weekend for me was the fact that China is passing legislation that effectively allows them to invade Taiwan and prevent a declaration of independence. I just hope I'm not here when it happens.

Something Wrong

There's something seriously wrong with Taiwan this morning. When I woke up, it wasn't pissing down with rain and I swear I saw some blue sky. No, really, I shit you not; it was there, just a slither, but it was there. It's gone now of course.

The wife appears to have got over her flu, but still has a snot problem. Sorry, there's no other way to put it. I can deal with it, I just wish it didn't cause the intense snorring issue. It's not ladylike you know.

We discovered yesterday that we can mail 20kg of garbage to UK for NT$1,200. I realise this sounds like about the same price as a second hand family car, but that actually equates to about 20 GBP or $40 (US). That strikes me as a damn good deal. I can't decide whether to tell the parents to expect a couple of huge boxes, or just surprise them. Apaprently it does take about 2-3 months. That's about walking pace isn't it?

Sumedha is taking the morning off today, James only works afternoons now, Don is misisng in action, Jamie always comes in late, which means I am the only writer here. It's a bit lonely, but at least I can get on with something of my own. If I hadn't destroyed my novel in the flash disk incident, I could get on with that. It would even look like I was working. Did I mention that we had a new young lady start last week called Ariel? She left on day two because management here wouldn't tell her what her salary was. We had another woman start at the same time and she also appears to have left. It amazes me that no-one has noticed the incredible staff turn-over we have in this office and questioned it. Not my problem.

I've just read James' comments at House of the Dragon. Do pistachios really smell like sex? That bag of nuts was on my desk yesterday.

I'm concerned, I think I have girl's hands. I've just read a thing about fingers, and apparently women tend to have index fingers and ring fingers of nearly equal length. Men on the other hand usually have ring fingers much longer than index fingers. But my ring and index fingers are almost equal in length on both hands. This is all linked to testosterone it seems, and the shorter one's index finger is compared to the ring finger, the more "boistrous" one is supposed to be. I would seem to have a very long index finger, or short ring finger, depending on your point of view, and that makes me a fairy. On top of that, I've just been told that my trousers look like girl's trousers. I'm going to make a subtle study of office fingers and report back. Here's the study.

I take back everything I said yesterday about OD RSS feeds working now, they don't. I can get the diary master feed to work, and my own, sometimes, but not Abby's.

Not really any time for any more, so I'm going to leave it here for today. I might do something tomorrow since I have to go to the office.

Filth

Yesterday I thought I was getting flu. I went to bed with a headache. However, I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, so I am hoping I haven't got it.

My brother wrote to me. This is the first e-mail I have had from him in a very long time. He's not one for keeping in touch. He asked me if I could get him an iPOD out here and bring it when I come. It appears that he has broken his. I'll have a look at prices. He wants a 60MB version.

I'm reading "The Da Vinci Code" at the moment. I think I have read about half of it. I've come to the conclusion that Dan Brown is a mediocre writer, but a great researcher. It's compeling. It's like Harry Potter; each chapter poses a new question and you have to keep reading to find the answer. I'm impressed so far but I'm betting the finale is anti-climatic. I've managed to read this much with almost no prior knowledge. So no-one spoil it for me OK?

Steve Fossett is apparently trying to fly round the world on a single tank of fuel. I can't see the point of this. Unless one actually flys around the equator, or at least crosses the equator twice at exact opposite points, it's not really circumnavigation is it? If I was to walk in a circle 1m in diameter around the North Pole, would that be circumnavigation? He's got fuel problems anyway apparently.

I get annoyed about these record attempts. The land speed record is the worst. The cars they are using now are jet propelled. Nothing is driving the wheels. The land element is incidental isn't it? Anyone can rip the wings off a jet fighter and zip along the ground at the speed of sound. It's not clever at all.

Prince Charles has been touring Australia and apparently the reproters that show up for his public appearances are regularly out numbering the crowds.

I keep reading about a California nudist club, Naturally California, that is being attacked by the self appointed moral guardians of decency, for nude skating events that include adults and children. Now, I can see why this would strike some people as bizarre, but I think you have to admit, nude skating could be quite fun. Does one still wear a helmet and pads? Anyway, the point I was going to make was, despite the many complaints about these events, which have now led to their cancelation, I haven't yet heard any argument that states why nudity is a bad thing.

I've heard that it's indecent, morally wrong, and that children shouldn't be involved. But I haven't heard why. So I'm throwing the question out here, two questions in fact, is nudity involving children wrong, and if so, why?

And to start the ball rolling, here's my view. Where I come from pretty much everyone has seen naked people from the time they were born. I come from Britain and people sit naked or topless on the beach. All British people holiday in Spain, France, Italy, Greece, Portugal, and nudity is very common on the beaches there. We have fairly strict censorship laws regarding sex on screen, but fairly liberal laws regarding nudity. I can remember my parents taking us to a nude beach when I was very young and I've seen my mother sunbathing topless and naked more times than I can count. I can't see that Britain or Europe is drowning in a puddle of it's own immoral filth and producing generations of perverts.

Click here for the news story.
Click here for the Naturally California website. (I haven't looked at this really but there are no nudie pictures on the front page if you're worried about such things).

Lions and Floods

I left the wife asleep in bed this morning. There appears to be a flu epidemic and she has been struck down. I cleverly left a note saying goodbye next to her cell phone on the pillow so that I could wake her with a call around 10. In retrospect, the idea would have been even cleverer had I checked that the phone was switched on, but it turned out OK because she called me.

Andy has commented that he is hoping for a biblical flood to wipe out the faithful. In my experience these things only seem to encourage them Andy. We used to throw them to the lions and they're still moaning about it now. It was good to see however that Abby very nearly agreed with me about something when she said that Christians are protesting in the wrong areas.

My father sent me an interesting e-mail yesterday regarding the Labour party's plans to implement new security measures to counter terrorism in Britain. Among the measures is a move to allow house arrest of terror suspects. My Father is something of an undercover libertarian I fancy and is offended by anything that threatens his freedom. Here's what he wrote:

...at first sight his motives seem incomprehensible. But, listening to the political commentators, they think it a political ploy aimed at the coming election. The idea is that the opposition can be made to appear weak and that the public is more interested in their safety than their liberty. I am not sure that argument holds up since, the same effect on terrorism could be achieved by the Home Secretary applying to a judge. My personal view is that this government instinctively goes for control.

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is sharp observation. I had previously written to him to say that I was confused by Blair's (Clarke's) motives. I couldn't see why they would want to risk such a strategy because I couldn't see any obvious gain from it. It's an interesting point isn't it however, that the government may think that people are more interested in safety than liberty. This is the same public that breaks speed limits every day and smokes.

In the Michael Jackson trial Martin Bashir has been forced to appear as a witness but has refused to answer most of the questions he was asked. I can't see why he would want to do that. Apart from the risk of finding himself in hot water with the judge for not co-operating, what does he gain from this, and what does he stand to lose from answering the questions? Surely he would want Jackson found guilty if he was abusing children, surely he would want Jackson to go free if he wasn't. If he has information to help prove things one way or the other, why not come out and say so? I can't help thinking that Bashir is nothing more than a self publicist.

Bill Clinton has been here in Taiwan and managed to upset just about everyone with his views. He upset the mainland just by coming here and meeting Chen Shui Bian, the president. He upset Chen by voicing support for a "one China policy" which is against just about everything Chen stands for. Nice going Bill.

And finally, I don't often answer the OD question of the week, but today I noticed that it's one I want to answer; "What scares you most?" Easy, Tony Blair winng another election and Charles becoming King.

RJ at the OU

Well here I am at work with blue hair and it has caused a certain amount of amusement already. And it's only 8.45am. It seems that the boss has managed to get flu and is off work today and James has announced that he's going part-time from tomorrow. So that's 1.5 writers we've lost from this office in the last 5 days, not including the boss.

I've got the diary migrated to the web site. Actually, no point in lying about this, I've got the diary working on the website, but I haven't migrated anything except the last entry. But the atom feed works (unlike the OD RSS feed) and I'm pleased with the weekend's progress. I didn't get any of the Chinese side working, but the Flash bit does scale properly now (that was an adventure) and there is a blog set up on there just waiting for Em to write something wonderful. Go and have a look anyway...

DongXi

I must do a banner.

Before anyone tells me, I am aware that the OD RSS feed does now work, I just tried it. It didn't work the last 400 times I tried it though.

The Michael Jackson trial has started, and the media are desperately trying to find something interesting or scandalous to report, but are failing miserably.

Oscars night has gone ahead and no-one appears to have disgraced themselves sadly, so that was a bit of a non event as far as the tabloid press is concerned.

Prince Charles has pissed everyone off after reporter Gavin Hewitt revealed that Charles said that he didn't like the way the British public treated him over the Camilla affair was exposed. You're just unlucky with Hewitts aren't you Charles. It's worth noting here that the British public didn't think much of the way you handled the Diana affair either. It now seems that 2/3 of the British public would rather see William crowned king than Charles. Personally I think we should run a national lottery style event to decide the next monarch.

A new study out today claims that smoking pot almost doubles the risk of mental illness. This is not new enws but it is the first time I have seen such alarming figures quoted. The study seems to have followed over 1000 people, born in 1977. It's worth a read, click here.

I see that veteran porn star Ron Jeremy is to address the Oxford Union. The union debating society has in the past been addressed by Ronald Reagan, Mother Teresa, and Winston Churchil. Ron will be the first porn star. I bet he has some stories to tell. Do you know he's been in 1,700 movies. Confidentially, I think that's more times than I've had sex.

There was a lot of fuss recently about the stage musical "Jerry Springer" after the BBC dared to show it on TV. I couldn't see what the fuss was about. Learn where the off switch is if it ofends you, morons! However, the story itself does interest me and it has this week developed. It appears that the protest against the musical was fronted by "Christian Voice". They were unsuccessful in their attempt to stop the screening of the opera, but they have since, according to the BBC news site, managed to persuade a cancer charity to return a substantial donation from the show after threatening demonstrations. Nice work, so now the cancer patients are not able to benefit from the money. Good work boys.

I'm not going to rant here about this. Christian Voice makes me sick and I'm not going to waste my time on them. However, it's good to know what life from the shallow end of the gene pool is up to; so have a look at the BBC report here and then go and have a look at the Christian Voice website here. When you've finished, reprot back here.

That is all.