How the Hell did that Happen?

OK everyone, listen up, this is important. I just found out I'm going to be a father. I'll just type that again to make sure everyone appreciates the magnitude of the statement; I'm going to be a father!!! If anyone knows what I'm supposed to do, e-mail me or something. I thought about going in to the woods to chop down a tree to make a baby bed, but this idea got shelved in favour of frenzied panic and saying, "OMMYGOD" several hundred times. I knew this was bound to happen. It only actually dawned on me yesterday however, that once the ball is in motion, you have to play out the game. You can't put these things back if you don't like them you know.

I actually found out about this on Tuesday, the day after my birthday. And by the way, blowing out candles and making a wish appears to be a complete waste of time. I definitely didn't even think of wishing for a baby, not that a baby is a bad thing you understand, but I did actually wish for this robot. See how irrisponsible I am?

And let me tell you how I found out about the bun in the oven. The Dragon went to see the doctor because her belly was sore. She found out what was causing it before lunch but called me at work with a fob-off story because she thought I should be supervised when I found out, probably wise. Anyway, there was a card waiting for me when I got home that I thought was a late birthday card, but it actually turned out to have a pregnancy test stick taped inside. Is that hygenic?

I realise that it's not usual to go around broadcasting these things until three months or something, but I don't think I could keep a secret this big for that long and the Dragon appears to have told most of the world anyway, so I guess it's OK.

I'm thinking of writing a user manual for babies, or a father's hand book or something. I have lots of ideas percolating.

And on that note, I think I'll end this entry for no reason other than the fact that nothing else really seems significant enough to add.

I'm looking at you

Yesterday lunchtime was taken up with golf practice and I didn't post an entry. Well there wasn't much to say anyway.

I've just gt a new project at work. It's like a light sabre and it has infrared capability so you can see in the dark. It can also take pictures and record video. I have no idea what this product could possibly be used for other than very voyeuristic purposes. I don't ask questions however, I merely put the words on the page.

In the news today:

A group of Canadian scientists are DNA testing a tuft of fur that residents of a Yukon town claim came from a sasquatch. The scientists are going to compare the DNA with known species from the area. One of two things will happen; either the fur will match something and the villagers will reject the result, or the DNA won't match anything and the scientists will say that it doesn't prove anything and the villagers will claim it does. I suppose the legend is fun and it doesn't do any harm. But trust me people, if anything that big was out there, we'd know about it already, click.

A "work of art" that takes the form of a 2 litre bottle of water (supposedly melted Antarctic ice) with a price tag of 42,500 pounds (seriously I don't make this up) has been stolen and it is feared that someone drank it. The "work of art" was on show at a literary exhibition in Devon, UK, not far from my parents abode. It was apparently titled "Weapon of Mass Destruction", and was created to highlight global warming. There's a prize to anyone who can dream up anything more pretentious than that. The artist, Wayne Hill, American, never heard of him, is clearly distressed and claimed that it was clearly a work if art. I beg to differ on that point. Click.

The hidden sex scenes in Grand Theft Auto contiue to cause massive uproar in the US with the House of Representatives now voting for an inquiry. Honestly, does it really need one? I've seen the offensive material. It's a very low quality cartoon. I don't think you can even see any low quality cartoon genitals. What is the fuss about? Click.

Apparently some chunks of Space Shuttle have fallen off on launch. I htink it's time they replaced the fleet. Click.

The oldest ever penis has been discovered in a cave in Germany. I'm sure there's a joke here, but I can't think of one. It's 28,000 years old, made of stone, and may have been "used as a sex aid" according to the BBC report. I'd have thought stone was a bit cold myself.

A quick note about my birthday. You'll be pleased to know it all went very well, we ate cake and stuff, did the singing and hand clapping etc. My Grandfather in law gave me a beautiful carved jade smilie face. It's looks thousands of years old and it was a most wonderful present.

Ice Bergs

Well it's my 38th birthday today. I'm not much into birthdays and I'm certainly not much into getting older, but as birthdays go, this one's been pretty good so far. Last night we ventured out to a Japanese place that specialises in something I only know the Chinese word for. It was good.



I like it when the chefs do it all in front of the customers.



And I don't think I have ever seen such big ice cubes.



Actually I drank beer, so the ice cube thing was not a big issue foe me.

Yesterday we ventured out to watch Madagascar. I've read mixed reviews, but I liked it. I liked the penguins. It's not up there with Toy Story or Ice Age, but I thought it was worth a look. 7 out of 10. I'm trying to get a copy of Process with Bertrice Dalle. I heard it slammed by the critics and I have a feeling that it's one of those films that critics are just not smart enough to understand. I could be wrong of course.

This morning I opened presents from the parents (underwear, they didn't want to send anything heavy), my wife, a shirt (in addition to the Harry Potter of last week). I also got e-mail from my Aunt, and even my old boss in England. I think it's sinister that he remembers my birthday. I even got a bottle of red from Sumedha at work.

Yesterday I wrote a couple of quick paragraphs about the shooting of a completely innocent man by the British police. I was appalled to read the headline this morning, "Shoot-to-kill' policy to remain. The report goes on to say, "Police leaders say they will not abandon their 'shoot-to-kill' policy and warn more innocent people could be killed in the fight against terrorism." It strikes me that, even if there was a need for such a policy, this isn't the most diplomatic way to advertise it. It's not going to reassure people exactly is it? And it's not likely to please the Asian or Muslim communities in London who are already scared for their lives.

The thing that bothers me most about this policy is the thinking behind it. Apparently the reason that police officers should aim for the head is because a shot to the body may detonate explosives carried by a suicide bomber. I've never heard anything so stupid in my life. It rather depends how the charge is wired. If the bomber is carrying a hand grenade with the pin removed, shooting him in the head will certainly cause it to be detonated when he lets go. What's more, a hand grenade will also provide a few seconds delay to allow the crowds to gather round. If I was a suicide bomber I would certainly wire my bomb that way in case I was disabled.

The police have made an apology for the incident but are defending themsleves on the grounds that he ran when challenged. It would appear from today's reports however that the officers in pursuit were in plain clothes and he had jumped over the barrier. This lends weight to the theory that he had no idea that the people following him were police or that they thought he was a terrorist.

Thoughts on London Tube Shooting

The man shot yesterday by police in London on the tube, has been named as 27-year-old Jean Charles de Menezes, a Brazilian. The Met Police Chief, Ian Blair issued a statement following the incident confirming that the shooting was directly connected with the investigation into the recent attempted terrorist attacks. It now apears that this was not the case.

I have read and seen TV news footage of several eye-witness accounts. All of them seem to agree that de Menezes was chased by three men, he tripped or fell, and was held down by two men while the third fired five shots into his head.

Is it me, or does this sound more like a public execution than a security exercise?

It is difficult to obtain information about the incident, but it does appear that de Menezes emerged from a premises under surveillance as a result of the London terrorist activity. It would also appear that he decided to run from the police when challenged. I have also read that his clothes appeared suspicious. Of course, the fact that he ran from police is significant. It has been claimed that de Menezes had no reason to run, but I suspect that the police chasing him were not in uniform, at least one of them appears to have had a side arm drawn. One must question whether he was running from police, or three men chasing him with a gun.

I found out today that policy over police use of firearms in Britain is currently confidential. That is to say, we don't know if the police acted properly (within their remit) or not. I must say however, that I would find it nothing short of astonishing to discover that running through a crowded tube station brandishing a gun and shouting is acceptable. Even the Americans would think twice wouldn't they?

And of course, there have been repurcussions already. The London Muslim community has already been rattled by the incident, and understably so. An independent inquirey has been demanded from several people. The Brazilian Foreign Minister is on his way to London to seek and explanation from Jack Straw. A review of firearm policy shake up has also been suggested.

And through all this we see prize idiot, ex Met Police chief, John Stevens putting his oar in. Stevens warned against ending the "shoot-to-kill" policy for bombers. Well that will put everyone's mind at rest won't it.

Up on the roof

It's Saturday, I simply didn't get time to write anything yesterday.

More attempted bombings in London. Words fail me, and that doesn't often happen, not going to even comment on it.

You'll never guess what, I got paid yesterday for that damn restaurant bill. Now I feel as though I have won. I don't anticipate taking anymore free lunches anytime soon however.

I was up om the roof of our building today with a digital camera. It's not very high, but you can see over the city.



And if you look the other way, you can see the bottom of the mountain under which we live.



All the buildings in the city are very close to each other.



And I noticed that some of our neighbours were on their roof, playing pool.

And so it continues...

It's conceptual...

Sometimes I start writing these things with absolutely no idea what I am going to say. This probably shows on the days when I write 500 words, but say nothing. I still say it's good brain exercise. Today is one of those days.

I read this morning that the Prfoessioanl Teachers Association in Britain wants to remove the concept of failure from schools and replace it with "deferred success". No, hoestly, I don't make this up. I'm pleased to say that the education secretary Ruth Kelly has trashed the idea. It's hardly worth even making a comment is it. Click.

On the subject of Ruth Kelly, I heard her interviewed onthe Radio 4 Today programme where she trashed the above idea. I'm not sure I have ever heard her interviewed before, but she was so bad at answering questions, I can't understand why she isn't laughed out of office. I know all politicians dance around questions, but she simply ignored them and talked about something completely different. She was supposed to be answering questions about a new government idea that will make parents supervise their children if they are excluded from school. God knows how that is supposed to work, more house arrests without charge I suppose. Apparently over 200,000 children were expelled from British schools last year, quite incredible.

Another story I read this morning is about a German woman who was found shopping wearing only an unbuttoned denim jacket in Cologne. When questioned by police she claimed that she was doing it because she'd lost a game of spin the bottle. The police let her off with a warning. Click.

In India they have discovered a new way to combat pornography, they raid the theater and then make all the people watching do sit ups in the town square. Not really sure that 10 sit ups is much of a deterent actually, but apparently this tactic is being trialed because authorities have been unable to stop theaters from screening the material. Click. I still can't see a problem with porn.

Do you remember me bitching here a while back about not receiving bonuses that I had been awarded at work? Well they promised me that they would be in the pay cheque this month, and guess what, half of it was. The sticking point appears to be a restaurant bill. I won a meal for two at a restaurant for some outstanding work I did, can't remember what. I wasn't sure I really wanted to go, but I thought it might be nice. It was all a bit cloak and dagger. I was given a discount card for the restaurant in the name of some woman I have never heard of. The card is not transferable and the name is Chinese, so I assume that anyone winning this prize has to take an oriental partner, or be oriental themself, and then pretend to be the person named on the card. I was also instructed to give the restaurant the company tax registration number so that they can claim back tax against my bonus as a business expense.

So, bear in mind here that I probably had to break the law and commit fraud just to claim this prize. When I finally get the money reimbursed (it's been three months now) I found out today I actually have to pay 10% tax on it. So in fact, even if I do get paid, I still end up out of pocket. Classic! And the reason I didn't get the money in this month's pay packet - tehy payed the wrong person. It has nothing to do with the fact that my payslip is in Chinese and they thought I wouldn't understand it, no nothing like that at all, what made you think that?

Balls

Played golf at lunchtime today so this is being written in the evening. No time to do any during lunch break. I got fed up with a client today. Some people are so rude. They gave me a template to write their manual and then complained because the pagination wasn't right. It was their damn template that did it! Well I'm not putting myself out for them anymore anyway.

Finished all the new Harry Potter now. Sumedha was right, there is a major death. I won't ruin it for you all. I'm not sure all is as it seems anyway. It's very good, more adult than the previous books in a lot of ways. And the scene is now set for the final showdown. It's claimed that the last book won't come for another two years.

I may have mentioned this already, but my sister in law has just taken posession of a new venue for her tea shop. So, if you're in Taipei, you should come by and visit. It's not open yet, but I'll keep you posted. Might even do a web page with some photos and all.

I had a message from Mr Cat6 claiming he's not interested in who's sleeping with who in the celeb world. Well I can't say I care much either, but I still wonder how people can be sympathetic towards Roman Polanski given his past history.

I finally got my Alien Resident Certificate today. That means my permission to stay here is no longer based on my work permit. I'm sorely tempted to go and kick the weasle faced boss in the balls now that I no longer need his work permit. Though I suppose that could lead to a court case followed by deportation come to think of it. I got paid today, but I still rather think I haven't been paid for the restaurant meal I won and ended up paying myself.

Nothing else important to write about, nothing that can't wait unitl tomorrow anyway.

Back to work

Well, sadly we have to return to work today. Everything is back to nearly normal. A certain amount of debris is lying about, but I managed my juorney into work with no real problem. I read that we actually experienced storm force 12 winds in places. I'm sure I didn't see anything that strong though.

The new Spencer Tunick installation has taken place int he North of England. I so wanted to be a part of it, but I was just ont he wrong side of the world. Who knows, maybe they'll be another installation some time soon, closer to me. There is an interesting report here. It seems to me that this form of art is far more about the participation element than the finished picture. I once heard Tunick's work dismissed as "transient". If by that the critic meant that the congregation of naked people lasted only a matter of hours, I would have to agree, though I can't see why that is a negative thing.

There seems to be a lot of sympathy around for Roman Polanski today. For those who don't know, Polanski is currently attempting to sue a magazine over an article which claimed he was exploiting his murdered wife's name. He may or may not have a point. He is however, a convicted paedophile and a fugative, how does he manage to gain so much positive coverage? Seems like a perfectly vile man to me, read the Wikipedia entry here. And here is the BBC report about the ongoing libel action.

Typhoon holiday

Today. Monday, we got a day off work due to a Typhoon. This is a good thing of course. It would have been like an extended weekend had I not had to do a shift on Saturday. We were threatened with 200 km/h winds and torrential rain. We did get torential rain, and some wind, though I don'thtikn it was 200 km/h. The subway is however only operating a skeleton service and when I ventured out this afternoon to the convenience store, there was very little happening on the streets. There was some debris and water everywhere, but I've seen worse.

The Royal Institute of International Affairs and the Economic and Social Research Council has today published a report claiming that the Iraq war boosted Al Quaeda and raised the risk of terrorist attack in UK. The really hysterical thing about the publication of this reporrt was its dismissal by defence secretary John Reid, who claimed terrorists will kill anyone that stands in their way. Yes Mr Reid, we stood in their way and thay attacked us, in other words,our actions increased the risk of terroist activity. I never liked John Reid at all, but until this moment, I hadn't realised that he was a living monument to low intelligence.Click.

I'm pleased to say that the dragon has picked up on all my subtle hints about birthday presents and a copy of the new Harry Potter was waiting for me when I got home on Saturday. I'm about 250 pages into it and I think J K has her old form back. It's really good. I thought the last one was a bit of a let down, but this is back up to standard. I'm not going to spoil it for anyone, but if you're an HP fan, you should definitely read it, even if, like me, you thought the Order of the Phoenix was a bit weak.

I see that China is intendign to send pig sperm into space to monitor the effects of space travel on sperm. Why don't they send human sperm?

OK, that will do for now. I imagine I'll be back to work tomorrow.

Three act drama

There was no Goblin POst yesterday because I had to take the afternoon off to go and get my visa application finished. And what a three-act-drama that turned into. I picked up the passport I surrendered last week as planned and the visa has been added, so far so good. So it's off to the police authority building to update my alien resident certificate and get a re-entry permit. The first problem was lack of family register document. This was because I had to surender it to the foreign affairs authority last week. One has to be registered at an address to qualify for a visa under these circumstances. Then I was informed that I was actuately at the wrong police authority building. This seemed strange to me because I used this one for previous applications. However, since I moved, I now have to go to another one, further away.

So I had to go back to Hsin Dian, get the family register document. I then had to flag down a taxi and head out to Banciao. It was gone 4 pm by then and the police place at Banciao only stays open until 5. On route to Banchaio it transpired that I didn't have any photos. God knows where they went, must have left them in the other police building. So the Dragon suggested that we remove the photo from the health check statement which was required for the visa application, and use that. We surrepticiously asked first whether we would be needing that document again before we peeled off the photo, and it appeared we didn't. I was slightly concerned that the health authority stamp over my picture would mean instance rejection, but we were lucky. The operative cropped the picture nicely, thereby removing all but a small trace of the stamp. From there on it was plain sailing. I got all my stamps and visas. I can stay another year even if I lose my job. Well actually there is still one thang that can go wrong. I haven't actually got an alien resident certificate yet, they're mailing it to me, so it could yet get lost.

I mentioned a while back about an employee of the Driver Vehicle Licencing Authority who was in trouble after she sent a colleague a video of herslef having sex using a mobile phone. I said at the time that I couldn't se why this had anything to do with her employer. She has now been sacked from her job for "gross misconduct". I still can't understand how that can be. She's considering legal action. I'm interested to see how this goes. Click.

Tomorrow is Harry Potter launch day and I'm still hoping the Dragon has arranged something for my birthday, which is 9 days later. A school in Lincolnshire was going to have a HP day and the kids were going to dress as Witches and wizards, but the local comunity idiots, fronted by the rector it seems, have managed to put a stop to that in case the kids all start practicing the dark arts and dabbling in the occult. Well you can't be too careful can you? Click.

One more thing to mention today, a new study seems to show that the power of healing prayer is ineffective. The report is published int he Lancet and involved 700 patients. Its an interesting read, Click.

Grope

Strange that Mr Cat6 and I both stepped into the world of podcasting at the same time. I think I need to read about xml and RSS next. There is a damn great book here about xml that I intend to dip into. Have to do it quickly as the new Harry Potter is almost upon us.

Friend Murdoch has contacted me and is back at work again after a few months rest. He has a new site if anyone is interested, World of Murdoch. And if you're reading this Murdoch, stop hounding me, I bought your book. I'm going to get you to sign it, on the off chance that you become rich and famous.

Not much to report in my life. James is on his way to Australia, or might already be there by now. He intends to show his hot girlfriend to his parents. Tomorrow I have to visit the police and finalise my visa application. Andy says they will only grant a one- year permit on the first application. I can't really complain about that.

Did I mention that my sister in law was groped by a stranger on the street the other day? Well apparently she was. It's quite common here for some reason. The dragon has been groped more than once. I swear, next time it happens I'm starting a rumble if I'm there. The sister-in-law incident actually ended quite well. She apparently grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back until he apologised. She's a tough broad. I almost wish I could have seen it.

It's a funny business this tech writing thing you know. Monday I had almost nothing to do, today I'm overloaded again. I have to work this weekend and I think I will actually have to do real work. I hate that. I can't understand why they make people work weekends, it just pisses them off and most of the time we don't do anything worthwhile.

Just one other thing to mention. I wrote about a race for robot vehicles last year. There was a big prize available for the makers of an autonomous vehicle that could make it across the Mojave desert. I the race was oragnised by the American military. Well, the race was something of a let down in the end because no-one managed to get get anywhere near the finish line. The team that came closest however were from Carnegie Mellon University. The race looks like being held againa nd this year it might even yield some results. The Carnegie Mellon team haVe got themselves a Humvee which drove itself round a racetrack for 7 hours and covered 200 miles. It's impressive, but it's not the desert. I think it's exciting. I'm looking orward to the next race. I wish I was involved. click.

Podcasting

First a quick word in response to January Girl, who wrote:

Unfortunately, the so called senior clerics you refer to our powerless. There is no central Islam, unlike the Catholic church. Islam is as compartmentalized as Christianity has become. And each branch observes and behaves completely differently. This makes the idea of "senior clerics," as in a way similar to the Pope et al, an impossibility.

I do understand what she means by this statement, but I take issue with the idea that there are no senior clerics to change the course of events. Iran for instance is run by senior clerics. Did the Iranian clerics condemn the attacks in London? Well I have to say that, to their credit, they did. But Ayatollah Mohammed Emami-Kashani, a respected cleric and powerful figure in Iran also stated that the results were a direct result of the UK's support for US and Israeli policies. That is no way to distance Islam and terrorism. It's hardly even a condemnation is it?

And this is what I mean when I say Islam should be held responsible for terrorism committed in its name until such time as it can properly distance itself from it. Islam must either support or condemn acts of terrorism or it must clearly split in two. There can be no middle ground here.

On a slightly different note, I saw Andy on the bus this morning and he reminded me that although the events in London were truly horrible, a similar number of people die daily in Iraq. It's a sobering thought isn't it. And not something I had paused to think about to be honest.

And on to something lighter...

I've been thinking about podcasting. When I first heard of podcasting I thought it was going to be a lot of hot air. Anyone can make an MP3 and leave it on a website to be downloaded right? Well yesterday I actually got around to downloading the new version of iTunes which supports podcasts and after some gentle investigation, I discovered that it's all much more advanced than I at first thought. It's all RSS driven for a start. So you can just give iTunes the URL and it will check for updates automatically. It then downloads the latest version of your podcast to a dedicated playlist on your iPOD the next time you connect it.

Of course there are a lot of teens with more enthusiasm than talent, making really awful one-off shows in their parent's garage. But there are also some high quality podcasts available. The BBC for instance has started releasing a few podcast shows. You have to admire the Beeb for this, they're boldly going. It has been possible for some time to listen to BBC radio programs on the internet for one week after they are broadcast. Ironically, they seem to have run into copyright problems doing the same thing in Podcast form. This is a great shame since I think there would be a huge market for such a service among the ex-pat community. Comedy shows, drama, and music shows (everything except news in fact) seem to be victim of the copyright issues.

But here's the thing that got me thinking; this is another issue for the big entertainment companies. Currently, if you look through the available podcast feeds around the internet, you will find there are a lot more than you thought. What's more, a large number are amateur or semi-professional bands, just posting their work somewhere in the hope that someone stumbles across them. These are the same people that can't get a break from the rich media companies that won't take risks with imaginative backstreet outfits when they can manipulate and clone manufactured boy bands which are a known quantity. Could podcasting, in the fullness of time, offer a more attractive, not to mention cheaper, means of connecting talent and listener? I think it could. And the media giants haven't even noticed yet that it's going to happen without them.

Sir John Stevens is Slime

Nothing particularly special happened this weekend. We did attend a one-year reunion party for the class of children the dragon taught last year. I took some pictures and put them in a new gallery. It won't be very interesting to most people. It's really only there for the people that attended. I thought I caught some groovy shots however.


Isn't she pretty? This child always looks good in photos. I think it's because she doesn't pose for them like most children, she just let's it happen.

Apart from that, not very much to report. I noticed that the wild fruit trees behind our apartment are bearing fruit. I'm told that last year no one took the fruit, so I am planning a mission out there to harvest it in due course. It's not ready yet. There are two trees, one is bell fruit, and the other is dragon fruit. I have no idea whether that is the corect English translation, it's a direct translation from the Chinese.

To the person that sent me the fortune telling link, I'm sorry, I don't really read Chinese very well, and I don't believe in fortune tellers so you should find someone else to evaluate your site. My wife does read Chinese and I'll show her the link, but I don't think she's really interested in fortune telling either.

After the terrorist attacks last week, I was wondering how long it would be before id card supporters started telling us how it could have been avoided with id cards. Well, credit where it's due, the Labour party appear to be taking a very decent line on this so far. I was listening to Radio 4, "Any Answers" this morning on Internet radio, and when asked the question, would id cards have prevented the attacks, all of them, including Trade and Industry Secretary, Alan Johnson, said that they probably would not. One of the panel did claim that id cards might help in the search for the bombers. Alan Johnson also said that better passport standards might also have helped, and I would agree with him on that.

I did see that prize idiot and former Metropolitan Chief of Police Sir john Stevens, has claimed that the terrorists were almost certainly British. I can't actually find the story this morning, I read it yesterday, but Stevens fails to back this wild statement up with any kind of fact or evidence, and I can only think that it is in preparation to casually bring up the benefits of id cards at some time in the future. How low can you get? Stevens is slime, I've always disliked him. He's of low intelligence and I think he's insecure. The insecurity theory came to me after I saw the following picture of him.



Look at him, what was he thinking?

It's a question of distance

Yesterday I claimed that anyone calling themselves a muslim today was morally bankrupt.

Dickie left the following note on DongXi:

When an IRA bomb would go off in London, no-one would think to condem the Irish.
Likewise, a bomb planted by a radical group that claims to be acting in the name of Islam should not lead to the condemnation of all Muslims.
Note that these bombs targeted all commuters, regardless of faith.

Let's deal with this one point at a time. Dickie's right, I wouldn't condemn the Irish for a terrorist bomb detonated in London. I would however condemn the organisation (perhaps the IRA) behind it. I would further call any supporters of that organisation, whether actual supoprters of terrorism or not, morally bankrupt. Not all muslims are terrorists and some muslims will condemn what happened. Those muslims should be distancing themselves from the Islam that supports these acts, because it is morally flawed. I would be saying this about any religious group that was committing acts of terrorism like this.

Salman Rushdi, recently speaking about Islam, described it as a "religion that is failing its people". I could not have put it better. The senior muslim clerics who seriously believe that terrorism has no part to play in Islamic teaching should be expelling the radical militants from the religion, the same way the Catholic church expels priests who have been involved in the sex abuse scandal. In short, if the senior clerics can't separate the Islam that exists now from the terrorists that associate themselves with it, then they should be taking steps to form a compeltely new church that can.

I don't understand the point about targetting people regardless of faith, you'll have to explain that Dickie. One thing I would say about the IRA terrorists however is that they don't tend to target indiscriminately and they do tend to give warnings. They're still scum, but they have more honour than the scum that hit London, Madrid, and New York.

Of course, looking at the broader picture, none of this would be happening if Blair and Idiot-Boy Bush hadn't been playing soldiers in the Middle East in an attempt to make the world "safer". And I give it about 24 hours before Blair starts claiming that this whole thing could have been avoided if we had id cards.

Human Scum

Anyone calling themselves a muslim tomorrow after what happened in London today is morally bankrupt.

Balls

I'm still not convinced about the Cat6 argument for ozone holes at the poles. I can see that a spinning atmosphere might make it egg shaped. I still can't see why some elements of it vanish. Why don't the CFCs spin out to the edge in this giant centrifuge and thin the ozone layer around the equator?

I'm going to the golf driving range at lunch time today. I can't remember the last time I picked up a golf bat. I hope I can still remember how it works. I'm going with James, Don, and Jamie. I hope they're crap at golf too.

My Father e-mailed me this morning and he's overjoyed that Britain is to host the 2012 Olympics. This is not because he's a sports fan, he just hates Chirac. He's currently looking for a picture of him minutes after the announcement. I'd quite like to see it myself. I can't say I'm particularly pleased that Britain won. I rather hoped that Blair would be blamed for us loosing.

Yesterday a note appeared on the door of the office. I should point out that we are not allowed to wear shoes in the office and that it is a translation company.



Don't ask me why we're not allowed to wear shoes in the office, it's not as if there is even a carpet on the floor. Anyway, I corrected the English.



As a side note, further corrections were made by person or persons unknown at some time during the morning. Final changes included the phrase, "no shoe is permitted outside" and, "as of July 10th", but thats beside the point. I have two ideas in my head. First, we should get 200 pairs of old shoes and pile them up outside the door. Second, we should wait until five minutes before shoe inspection and then steal the Weasel's shoes and leave them outside the door. Other suggestions are a welcome of course.

Break for lunchtime golf session...

I had no need to worry, Don whimped out, and Jamie and James were no experts either. I hit a few good balls. I thought I'd have forgotten, but it's still in there somewhere. Last time I went to a driving range you had to carry a bucket of balls out to the booth with you. Now they seem to pop up through the ground by magic. We're going to do it again. Next time I will bring the right shoes and a spare shirt.

My Mouth Hurts

First, sorry, I screwed up the link to the id card story yesterday. If you're interested, the link is fixed, or you can find it here.

Thanks to MIss Tick who sent me this link yesterday. It's the full transcript of the interview between Trevor McDonald of ITN news and Pres Bush. It's enlightening.

Thanks also to Mr Cat6 who agreed with me about there being no evidence to suggest that the ozone layer was a recent developement. He also attempted to provide an explanation as to why the holes form at the poles. According to Andrew, "ozone is thinner at the poles due to the motion of the earth (a spinning top - things will naturally move to the furthest ends of a plane that is perpendicular to the axis of rotation - the equator)". I understand that material in a vortex will natarally spin away from the center. I have a problem with the fact the ozone content appears to be flying to the edge and leaving everything else behind. That's like suggesting that stirring a cup of tea makes all the milk fly to the edge of the cup. I've heard this argument before and I can't really see it.

I spent all yeaterday afternoon waiting to be seen at the ministry of foreign affairs, I have now submitted all my paperwork to the authorities and, unless something unforeseen occurs, I should have a new resident visa shortly. I have had to surrender my passport until 14 July. When I get it back the last stage in the process is at the police station when they decide how long I can stay for.

Britain seems to have been selected to host the 2012 olympic games. I'm sure Blair will be very pleased and begin congratulating himelf already. I suppose one can be at least a little thankful that Chirac's bid was foiled.

No more time, more tomorrow.

Some days you're the dog

I'm taking the afternoon off to go and become Taiwanese. That is at least the theory. This may therefore only be a short entry. Look out for news about how it goes tomorrow.

I had a depressing day yesterday. I can't really put my finger on what the problem is, but I think I'm mostly just bored and disenchanted with work. James will soon be gone, and so will Don. There are no plans to replace either of them it seems. Word on the street is that the weasel in charge wants to keep the tech writing business alive, but only with the three most productive writers. I'm of the opinion that he still wants to shut us down. I have no plans to renew my contract at the end of the year. One wonders what he will do then. I feel a little sorry for the boss, but some days you're the dog, some days you're the lamp post, and I'm not sticking around to be peed on any longer than I have to.

In the news today it seems that Prince Harry's teacher, the one that claimed she'd done Harry's A level course work for him, has won her case for unfair dismissal. This is interesting. The teacher recorded Harry confirming that he'd done almost none of his course work himself. But this was all denied and Harry got his A level. The teacher was mysteriously dismissed on the grounds that she was a "substandard teacher" and she claimed unfair dismissal. That's when she claimed that she did Harry's course work. She also claims that she was bullied. Well the judge appears to have completely skirted any issues involving Harry, very wise m'lud, but has upheld her claim that she was bullied.

I've just seen a note from Jim about global warming and I have to say, our views may differ slightly, but I think we're pretty much on the same side of the argument here. We both agree that burning fossil fuels, at least at the current rate, is undesirable. We both agree that Taipei air can be quite foul, as a direct result of fossil fuel use. Some days you can chew the atmosphere here, seriously. I can't argue either about the potential health risks of an atmosphere filled with fossil fuel exhaust. I'm not convinced global warming is actually happening, and I think the evidence to link global warming with fossil fuels is not really very convincing, despite what the politicians wanting the environmentalist vote tell us.

I'm of the opinion that, if you look for something hard enough, you'll probably find it. That's to say, if you want to find a place in Britain that's hotter than any recorded temperature in the past 100 years, you'll probably find one if you plant enough thermometers around. One also has to point out that the methods used for measuring temperature have really only been accurate enough to measure 100ths of a degree for about the past 30 years, and that's not long enough to draw any sort of conclusions. Temperature rises measured from space appear to differ from those measured on earth and I think I'm right in saying show no global warming effect, though we don't often hear about this. We hear about glacial retreat everyday, but we never hear anyone mention that glaciers come and go all the time and always have. We also never hear mention of the fact that the temperature in the Antarctic has been falling significantly for years.

Going off topic a little, can someone explain to me why it is that these holes in the ozone layer, generally accepted to have been caused by CFCs, formed over the only unpopulated continents on earth? I asked a professor who lectured on environmentalism why this was and he gave me a wonderful diagram that showed how the air flowed around the globe. He was unable to explain however why the CFCs all jumped out of the atmosphere at the poles and caused the holes. I'd also like someone to please tell me how we know that these holes haven't always been there. I'd like to stress here that I don't know that global warming and ozone depletion are not a problem, I'm just not sure they are, and my reasons for wanting to limit fossil fuel use are not really based on any global warming argument. Contrary, perhaps, but I like to think I am impartial on this one. I have no axe to grind, no votes to win, and my family income does not depend upon burning oil.

Another intersting thing that showed up in the news today concerns id cards once again. You may remember that academics at the London School of Ecconomics caused some embarrassment to the government recently when they questioned the quoted cost. Charles Clarke, Home Secretary, claimed that the LSE "fabricated" their results. In other words he called them liars but didn't back it up with anything. Well the LSE has hit back with some scathing comments. It's a really intersting report if you're into the id card debate. An alternative scheme was put forward by the Simon Davies of the LSE which has been described as, "as preposterous as his original report". Again, nothing to really back it up though. It's wortha read,click.

Trash

Happy 4th July to all you American, Yankie type people.

We went to the trash market at Jong He yesterday. In Britain we would call it a car boot sale. Hundreds of people show up, each with a car full of second hand items, and they attempt to sell said items. It was fun, but too hot. I even managed to turn my skin a little pink in the sun. I bought a traditional Chinese abacus for NT$50. More accurately, it was Japanese style I have since found. That would be about 80p in Britain. I have only the very vaguest idea of how to use it. The Dragon has been trying to explain it to me but, though she is a very talented artist, linguist, and teacher, a mathematician she is not. She learnt how to use it at shcool, but the twenty years which have since elapsed have erased nearly all the maths from her brain it seems.

We also went and visted a temple up a mountian in Jong He and I did take some photos of that, but they're not uploaded yet, stand-by.

While out and about I saw a tee-shirt with a slogan in English printed on the chest. I always find myself interested in the English I see printed on clothes here because it's so often wrong and clearly the wearer often has little idea what it means. I suppose we do the same in the west. Tattoos with oriental characters seem very popular and you just know when you see them that the bearer knows nothing of what they mean. However, to return to the tee-shirt I spotted this weekend, after much veiled staring, I eventually saw that it said, "I am the way, the turth, and the life". No, not a typo, it really did say "turth". And for the rest of the day, I was wondering whether it was a joke, an attempt at profanity, or a genuine balls up. I'm leaning towards the balls up theory.

George Bush has said that he will not agree to any G8 measure to counter environmental damage if it involves reducing carbon emissions. The reason he gives for this is that it would wreck the US economy. The US never signed the Kyoto agreement citing the same reasons. My reply to this would be that every other nation in the world, all of them, every last one, manages to produce less carbon emisisons per capita than the US, even the indistrial nations and the very cold nations. Not every nation in the world however is led by a man who's family fortune was made in and continues to depend upon the oil industry. I'm dubious about the link between global warming and carbon emisisons. In fact I'm dubious about global warming in general. I do however realise the need to move away from fossil fuels. In case you were wondering.

A Japanese man has entered the record books after reciting pi to 83,000 places, from memory. I told the dragon about this, to which she replied, "hasn't he got anything better to do? I'd learn 83,000 new words in English". One has to agree with her feelings on that one I think. Apparently he lost his place half way through his first attempt and had to restart. It seems he tried once before but had to abandon his attempt because the venue where he was performing this amazing feat, wanted to close. Not very well planned. Click.

No ranting today

I'm going to try and make this a slightly lighter entry than recent ranting has produced. Did I mention that I finally got my clean criminal record certificate back, all stamped and endorsed as required? Well I have. We were going to go to the police place and start the application for a visa this afternoon, but my boss begged me not to take the afternoon off, so it has to wait until next week. I'm slightly worried that they are going to tell me that the criminal record thing is not recent enough. Some documents are only valid for 3 months. The criminal record certificate is already two months old, and I can't find any information about how recent it must be. I got it done as fast as possible, but it had to make three trips round the world to get stamps from everyone. It should be OK.

I also got new glasses yesterday. They are a little stronger than the previous pair and, although it irks me somewhat that my eyesight is not as good as it was, I can now see better. Got some groovy shades as well. I might put some pictures up if I feel like it.

I want to mention something about some news I read on the Welsh BBC site. For those who don't know, the driver licencing authority for Britain is based in Wales. Anyone who applies for a new driving licence or requires an update to their current licence, has to deal with the Driver Vehicle Licencing Authority (DVLA), Swansea. It's a huge, goverment run dinosaur of an organisation, housed in a 20 story building. It's widely regarded as inefficeient and is frequently the brunt of jokes, but to be honest, I have no real quarrel with them.

This week it appears that a DVLA employee, a woman in her twenties, sent one of her friends a video of herself having sex. We are led to believe that the video was sent by cell phone, though I am slightly dubious about that. The long and the short is, this video, fairly predictably, spread all over the building in about the next ten minutes. Now I'm guessing that not all that many DVLA employees have video-enabled cell phones, so my hunch is that standard e-mail was involved and I expect it was company e-mail, but that's beside the point. According to the BBC report, 300 people had been sent the clip by the time managers stepped in. The woman from whom the clip allegedly first came, has been suspended pending an investigation.

Over and above the obvious amusement value of this story, I find myself wondering what happens next. It would seem that this woman is likely to lose her job, and I wouldn't mind betting that several others get canned with her. But should it happen? This woman has sent this clip, apparently privately, to a friend. It perhaps wasn't the brightest move, but it wasn't malicious and it didn't involve her employer. This friend then forwarded it on. If DVLA e-mail servers were involved (and I bet they were) then I understand that there will likely be a company policy regarding what they can be used for and the staff that breached the policy probably deserve what's coming to them. But the original sender wasn't one of them.

It seems that there are 6000 people working in the DVLA. I bet she's not the only one to have videoed herself having sex. I bet she's not the only one to have shown video footage of herself having sex to someone else. I bet that DVLA e-mail servers have been used to pass porn round in the past. I bet if you searched all the bags and briefcases belonging to staff today you'd find a few porn mags and handcuffs. I bet not everyone is wearing underwear today, and I bet there are hundreds of staff secretly sleeping with each other. Hell I bet it's happened on the premises a few times. And the point I'm making is this; is anyone going to stop using the DVLA because there are immoral staff working there? No, they can't, it's the only licencing authority in Britain. Does anyone care that a junior member of staff videoed herself having sex and showed someone else? I don't, couldn't care less, really. I'm not making any judgement here, I'm just wondering what the fuss is about. Is this just management doing what they think management should do? Click for the story.

And to finish today, I bring you news of the lavatory theme restaurant right here in Taiwan. Food is served in lavatory shaped dishes and customers sit on lavatories to eat. I was not aware of this restaurant, but I was all ready to give it a go and give you a write up about the experience here. Unfortunately it's in Kaoshung, which is about as far away from here as it's possible to get without a boat. So maybe when they open a branch in Taipei. Click.