How the Hell did that Happen?

OK everyone, listen up, this is important. I just found out I'm going to be a father. I'll just type that again to make sure everyone appreciates the magnitude of the statement; I'm going to be a father!!! If anyone knows what I'm supposed to do, e-mail me or something. I thought about going in to the woods to chop down a tree to make a baby bed, but this idea got shelved in favour of frenzied panic and saying, "OMMYGOD" several hundred times. I knew this was bound to happen. It only actually dawned on me yesterday however, that once the ball is in motion, you have to play out the game. You can't put these things back if you don't like them you know.

I actually found out about this on Tuesday, the day after my birthday. And by the way, blowing out candles and making a wish appears to be a complete waste of time. I definitely didn't even think of wishing for a baby, not that a baby is a bad thing you understand, but I did actually wish for this robot. See how irrisponsible I am?

And let me tell you how I found out about the bun in the oven. The Dragon went to see the doctor because her belly was sore. She found out what was causing it before lunch but called me at work with a fob-off story because she thought I should be supervised when I found out, probably wise. Anyway, there was a card waiting for me when I got home that I thought was a late birthday card, but it actually turned out to have a pregnancy test stick taped inside. Is that hygenic?

I realise that it's not usual to go around broadcasting these things until three months or something, but I don't think I could keep a secret this big for that long and the Dragon appears to have told most of the world anyway, so I guess it's OK.

I'm thinking of writing a user manual for babies, or a father's hand book or something. I have lots of ideas percolating.

And on that note, I think I'll end this entry for no reason other than the fact that nothing else really seems significant enough to add.