I am so completely not a redhead

I have to start with something important, a message to Mr Philosophy Punk:

I am so completely not a redhead! I did have blue hair for a month or two.



And I must confess that I was born with a hint of ginger. I know this because my mother cut my hair the day I was born and she still keeps that hair to this day in a little box in her kitchen drawer. During my youth I was usually described as blonde. The hair has however darkened (and thinned sadly) as I have made my journey through life. At this point I would describe my hair as fair. A less favourable description might be mousey. But it is completely not, and absolutely never has been red.



Just needed to clear that up.

Other things that appear to have happened today:

The Spice Girls tour is over, and they each made about £10 million. NIce woirk if you can get it.

Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch is likely to be auctioned off next month as he can't pay his bills. Maybe one of the Spice Girls will buy it.

Boy George has denied chaining a male escort tot he wall of his London flat.

Prince Harry has been fighting in Afghanistan, of course he has.

Things that might be good about today

First Great Western has agreed to put £29 million into improving their train service. Ruth Kelly, the poison dwarf and transport secretary, has called the train service "unacceptable". FGW have recently been caught lying about the number of cancellations they have made, and I personally sent them 100 identical complaint letters to their free post address because they wouldn't refund my unused season ticket.

FGW are attempting to put a positive spin on the situation by pointing out how this £29 million is going to radically improve their service. The truth is, £29 million is less than 1% of their turnover and if it is this easy to solve the problems, why didn't they do it before now? And of course, they didn't chose to spend this cash, they were forced to by the government who sold them the franchise and can equally well remove it. And I hope they do.

Something interesting is happening in Europe today. In fact, there are a couple of interesting things. First, the MEP expense dossier, which uncovers dodgy expense claims made by European politicians is being kept confidential, despite calls for it to be published after some embarrassing leaks occurred recently. It's been suggested that some MEPs are claiming salaries for staff that don't exist. I'd say keeping it hidden is likely to cause as many problems as publishing it. Let's hope so.

Perhaps even more interesting than that is the case of two British men who are campaigning to have their DNA records removed from the UK national database. They are due to appear in European court today. Currently anyone who is arrested in UK has their DNA record added to the database, even juveniles. It is never removed, even if the suspect is not charged or later cleared. The two in question were both cleared of any wrongdoing and are claiming that their human rights and privacy have been violated. If they succeed in having their records removed from the database, it will mean thousands of other records will have to be removed. Guess what I'm hoping for!

***

On the way home I found that I was sharing a train with Sir Malcolm Rifkind. This will mean nothing to anyone outside the UK, but he was the Foreign Secretary during the last years of the John Major government.



He's also been Scottish minister, Secretary of State for Defence, and Transport I think. I didn't see him on the train but a driver was waiting for him at the station holding up a notice with his name on. Not much of a driver if you ask me. I'd have recognised him. Anyway, there you are, I shared a train with someone famous today.

And here is a picture of us mucking about in Taipei, just in case anyone cares.

Over my cold, dead body

I've never exactly liked Germaine Greer very much, but at one time I did have some grudging respect for her. I think that respect has been eroded over many years, but yesterday it all but disappeared after I read her stupid comments in the Guardian concerning Gunther von Hagen's Body World exhibitions. Greer claims that it's all showbiz, and it's not educational. She could be right about it being showbiz, but how can one dismiss any educational value with a wave of the hand like that? You may not like it. You may even be disgusted by the fact that real dead people are on show; but that doesn't make it un-educational does it?

We can educate ourselves in all sorts of ways, and I certainly learnt something from my visit to the body world exhibition in Taipei a few years ago. That incidentally is more than Greer has done. Greer claims, "I would no more go to an exhibition of dead bodies than I would eat a live one". The inference is that the show is in poor taste. It may well be in poor taste, but how does that lead her to lack of educational value? I'm saddened by the lack of substance to the Greer statement anyway.

On a completely different note, by my count three very public murder trials have this week resulted in the conviction and sentencing of three murderers. Stephen Wright was convicted of the murders of 5 Ipswitch prostitutes and will spend the rest of his life in prison. Mark Dixie was convicted of the murder of teenager Sally Anne Bowman, and was sentenced to a minimum of 34 years in prison. And today we learn that Levi Bellfield has been convicted of two murders and one attempted murder, and will also seemingly spend the rest of his life in prison.

All the victims in these three cases were young women. All the crimes were horrific in nature and they have of course captured the national imagination. The Sun newspaper has predictably started stirring things up by calling for the death penalty. I saw a comment this morning in one or other of the papers from the mother of one of the victims. The mother was against the death penalty. She claimed she didn't want to lower herself to the killer's level and that she wanted him to live with what he did for the rest of his life. In other words, she wanted the guy punished for the crime, and she thought keeping him alive was a better punishment than the death penalty.

My personal opinion is this; I'm broadly in favour of the death penalty. I don't think it will work as a punishment or as a deterrent. I just think the world would be a nicer place without some people. There was a list of convicted killers published in the Sun as part of the death penalty rally. The list included Sutcliff, Rose West, and a number of other odious convicted criminals. Among the listed names was Michael Stone, who was convicted of a double murder and is currently serving 25 years in jail. Seeing Stone's name on the list made me think. Stone was convicted entirely on circumstantial evidence. In fact the prosecution relied almost entirely on a witness who claimed to have heard Stone confess while in custody.

I don't think I would want to be on any jury that sent Michael Stone to the gallows. For me the death penalty should only be used when more than circumstantial evidence has convicted the criminal.

There has also been a call this week, again, for a national DNA database. It seems that police think they could have caught Dixie faster if such a database was in operation. This bothers me. Dixie was caught after his DNA was matched with samples found on Sally Anne Bowman. It was taken from Dixie after he was arrested for his part in a pub brawl in 2006, after he murdered Sally Anne Bowman. It seems to me the current system worked in that instance. I don't see the police looking to charge Dixie with any other serious crimes committed between the time he murdered Sally Anne Bowman and the time he was convicted of the crime. I don't think it matters much that it took nine months to bring him in.

The police claim that more crime would be solved if DNA from the entire population was recorded. That is undoubtedly true. It is however a bit like saying, "if we ban cars completely, we can eradicate road accidents". One can't argue with the logic, but there is a downside.

For many, the downside of giving DNA to the authorities is not immediately apparent. A huge crowd of people are still claiming that those with nothing to hide have nothing to fear. I ask these epeople to stop and think. Think about who will have access to this data, not just now, but in ten years time, in twenty or thirty years time. Because, once you give this data to them, you will never be able to take it back.

The truth of the matter is, even if you trust the people in power now to use this data responsibly, you simply can't trust future authorities. And it's not just about authorities abusing the data, it's about authorities failing to keep the data secure. What if this data got into the hands of say the British National Party, either through poor security, or by legitimate means? What would Nick Griffin do with a list of every person in Britain with a genetic fingerprint that betrays their African or Asian lineage. The thought terrifies me. Nick Griffin is a vile, white-supremacist mad man, but misguided people are voting for him, and he has some influence. I will give Griffin access to my family's DNA over my cold, dead body.

I've written far too much. Congratulations to anyone who made it this far. You win today's prize.

Booze

I never did relate the story of how I drank foul Chinese alcohol with my wife's aunt over Chinese New Year. There is one specific day over Chinese New Year that one is supposed to visit the family of the wife. I don't know if we did it exactly right, since we didn't visit the dragon's mother, we went to her aunt instead. I was initially not really looking forward to the visit. I don't really know that side of the family very well and I have a devil of a job communicating with them. They are all nice people though and we had a duty I guess, so we went.

And I'm glad we went because we had a great time. There was lots of food. Dumpy had a wonderful time terrorising the cat and exploring an unfamiliar house. And as the evening progressed and I got to a point where eating any more would in fact have been dangerous, my aunt in law asked the question, "do you want to drink something alcoholic". I translated it wrong. I thought she said, "fancy a beer?", so I said yes. It turns out that she meant some clear spirit that tasted not unlike what I imagine aviation fuel to. What's more, I thought she meant that everyone would be having a snifter, but in fact she just wanted to see if she could get me drunk I think.



Well, I managed to persuade a few other people, in pigeon Mandarin, to have a drink with me. It's funny how foul alcohol seems less foul after you've had a couple. After two or three large glasses, my aunt and I were talking to each other merrily in our own languages like a couple of old friends. She told me I had to look after her neice, I know that much, and I promised her I would. You'll be pleased to know we stopped drinking before we started telling each other, "you're my best friend, you are". She made me take the bottle with me.

I've never had a big family. In some ways I feel I've missed out. I do find it difficult to adapt to family life in this way, but that was a great evening. And not just because of the booze.

I seem to have picked up a cold. I think I got it from Dumpy. I feel a bit crappy, sore throat, snotty nose. I also seem to have put my shoulder out again. I do that quite often. I'm not sure how. It usually clears up in a day or two. I won't come to work tomorrow if it gets any worse.

It's pay day today, or tomorrow I think. I just got a pay rise, which is good of course, and a bonus, which was also worth having. They are remodelling the office. I've just moved desks, but I think I'm going to have to move again when they move around the kitchen.

We've been to Devon for the weekend. Mother screwed up her email, but I've sorted that out. She wants broad band installed. Currently it's only dial up. I think broad band would be excellent. She's got a glare on about learning how to fly the PC. She has a course booked and everything. I'm going to organise ADSL or something for her. I wonder if I could introduce her to MSN.

It's mothers' day next week, so we will go down there again. I think brother will also go. Hope so.

At the speed of thought (with pictures)

OK, this is going to be heavy on pictures.

Today I am going to tell you about the trip we made on the Taiwan High Speed Rail link, from Taipei in the north, to Kaoshung in the south.



The trains are Japanese built and based on the famous Shinkansen trains which pretty much set the standard for high speed rail travel in Japan way back in the 60s. The Japanese trains of the 60s reached speeds of around 200 km/h (124 mph). Now they run at speeds of up to 300 kmh (186 mph) as do the Taiwanese models.



The trains look as though they belong on a Star trek set, but unless you're a real train geek, the technical details are probably boring. I would recommend you have a quick look at the excellent Wiki page though, which has maps, pictures, and a few technical details which you can skim over. Hey, they travel at nearly 200 mph, what more do you need to know?

We took the train from Taipei Main Station, the most northerly station currently in service, and near our old home in Nanjing Don Lu, right down to the most southern station, Zuoying in Kaoshung.



I know Taipei well, but I had never been to Kaoshung, Taiwan's second biggest city. The entire journey from one end to the other is about 335 km (208 miles) and the train we took stopped only twice, in Banciao and Taichung. Conventional trains would take about 4.5 hours to make the journey. The Shinkansen trains take about 90 minutes.

I don't know anything about the technology behind these trains, but I did notice that they appeared to be powered by overhead cables. The concept seems old and clunky juxtaposed with the space-age appearance of the vehicles. But a lot of trains are powered electrically, and with good reason. Electrical motors have a huge advantage over internal combustion engines in heavy vehicles because they provide better torque at low revs. This you see makes gearboxes and clutch mechanisms less of an issue. Intercity trains in UK are driven electrically, but the power for them is generated on board by an internal combustion engine, in case you wanted to know.

OK, I'm not going to recount the whole journey for you. It was fast and comfortable. It felt much like an ordinary train. Things flashed past the window quite fast, but other than that, the only indication that we were travelling at the speed of thought was a scrolling led display which occasionally informed passengers of the current lary speed. I couldn't work out when the display was going to inform us of the speed, it appeared to be quite random, so I sent much of the journey perched, camera in hand, looking over the back of the seat trying to get a picture. I'm immature like that.



One thing that occurred to me was the fact that our train had 12 carriages, and there were 100 seats in our carriage. That's a lot of people if there's a 180 mph accident.

Kaoshung was OK, much like every other Asian city I've ever seen. We hired a tandem bicycle with a baby seat and went cycling round the city.



I'm sure it was outrageously dangerous. We spent some time on the beach looking for shells and watching the waves.



And we visited the light house, which was a long way up a mountain.



And on the way down we passed an old gun battery from the Ching dynasty apparently, and a radio beacon station. We also took the ferry across the harbour.



The most amazing thing we did in Kaoshung however, was eat raw lobster. I was quite proud of myself actually. Shellfish scares me. I rarely eat it because I am violently allergic to crab. In fact I have only in recent years plucked up the courage to eat lobster at all, and I only ever eat a small amount. It was therefore a fairly terrifying moment when I agreed to sample the raw lobster. It came to the table waving at us, I shit you not ladies and gentlemen, the bugger was gesticulating wildly. What's more, the damn thing was cut in half by that time. It's not for the squeamish.



In fact, once you get over the 'ohmygod-that's-disgusting' factor, it really doesn't taste too bad. It's sweet, and cold obviously, but not really fishy at all. I wouldn't want it every day, but I'm glad I had the experience. Of course, being Taiwan, there had to be a final shocking twist in the process, and this time it was lobster blood, which arrived at the table in a paper cup, mixed with alcohol. Lobster blood is blue apparently, and one is supposed to drink it because it's good for you.



I tried it, I didn't like it. I won't be doing it again. The oddest thing about lobster blood, is that it becomes gelatinous. We discovered this when we knocked over the cup, no one had been brave enough to sample more than a single sip, and the contents more flopped onto the table than ran over it. It's foul. You should do it once to say you've been there, and then never look back. Actually, my sister in law told me the following day that it wasn't lobster blood at all, but lobster wee. Not a pleasant thought.

In the evening we ate fried dumplings, which was altogether much less dramatic than the lobster. We also walked along the banks of the "Love River" which I understand used to be awash with raw sewage but now is really rather nice.



We played in the fountains, drank coffee, and ambled back to the station around 10pm. I did the tourist thing and bought a t-shirt...



... and a model of the T700T train for Dumpy.



I don't think I have ever put that many pictures in a single entry before.

Out of his arse

Oh so much to ramble about. Fidel Castro has announced he is to retire. One wonders whether anyone else is powerful enough to keep Cuba in its current form. I can't say I care very much.

I wanted to make a comment about about a news story I read yesterday from the BBC, but I decided to wait as I was talking about my ill fated Hong Kong flight yesterday. The headline "Machines to match man by 2029" caught my eye. It seems that Ray Kursweil has come out with a number of wild claims regarding the future of technology. Mr Kursweil is apparently, "one of 18 influential thinkers chosen to identify the great technological challenges facing humanity in the 21st century by the US National Academy of Engineering". That sentence really could do with a little punctuation if you ask me, but it's a quote so I won't mess with it.

Among other things, Mr Kursweil believes, "we will have both the hardware and the software to achieve human level artificial intelligence with the broad suppleness of human intelligence including our emotional intelligence by 2029". Not only that but, "We'll have intelligent nanobots go into our brains through the capillaries and interact directly with our biological neurons". He doesn't of course define what the hell intelligence is, or back up his claims with any research findings. In fact, it's almost as if he just pulled these ideas out of his arse.

I'm slightly troubled by the whole concept of a team of "influential thinkers chosen to identify the great technological challenges facing humanity in the 21st century". Challenges facing humanity don't really need identifying do they? I was under the impression that challenges kind of present themselves. The list of challenges identified also seems very odd to me. There are inevitably a number of politically correct environmental challenges listed, like providing energy from fusion and solar power. They also seem to think that managing the nitrogen cycle is a pressing problem, as is finding a method of carbon sequestration. These things are not something anyone should be messing around with if you ask me. The only way to manage chaos is with negative feedback. And that's already in place.

Other challenges just seem ridiculous to me; "Prevent nuclear terror" for instance. That's not a technological problem, that's a political problem. All the challenges listed are being worked on in one form or another anyway.

The most interesting challenge listed is, "Reverse engineer the brain". This of course presupposes that we don't know how the brain works, which is largely true, but it makes me wonder how Kursweil managed to reach his conclusion about brain enhancing nanobots. He seems confident that by 2029 we'll have nanobots dancing down our capillaries on their way to our brains, but then admits he hasn't got the faintest idea what they should be doing there.

Still to come this week:

My adventure on the Bullet train...



..and the foul Chinese alcohol experience...

Definitely Happened

I'm back from the far east and I have thrilling stories to relate. These include:

How I so nearly missed my connection in Hong Kong

My ride to Kaoshung on the bullet train



Drinking absolutely foul Chinese alcohol with my wife's aunt

And Abby, there are pictures, so it definitely happened.

I won't do everything at once. Instead I will bore you with them seperately over the next few days. Today I will relate the tale of my delayed flight from London, and how I nearly got stranded in Hong Kong.

I drove to the airport and deposited the car in a dodgy looking facility, which appeared to consist of a portacabin, a field, and a hundred or so cars. It was cheap, about £6 a day, and a 10 minute bus ride to the terminal.

I arrived early for my flight to Hong Kong. Check-in went smoothly, though I was unable to secure an aisle seat. This was bad because the plane was an Airbus A340 (I think) which means it was built for midgets. I drank a pint of Caffrey's in the Irish pub in the departure lounge while I waited for my gate to open.



The pub was crowded, and the staff overworked. The Caffrey's was not worth the wait. I wasted some time in the Harrods duty free shop. I purchased a few presents, including hand cream, and then regretted it. I realised too late that I would have to go through security again at Hong Kong with the hand cream in my hand luggage. They are currently confiscating such things for reasons I don't understand. I resolved to try and blag my way through rather than pitch it into a bin in the departure lounge.

Departure from London was delayed because the wings were iced up and we had to be hosed down with de-icer before we could leave. I was seated next to a large woman whom I later discovered to be a vociferous snorer. I envy people who can sleep on planes. It's not something I have ever been able to do. We were delayed about 30 minutes, and I had only one hour to make my connection in Hong Kong. By the time we were somewhere over Siberia, I realised that it was going to be very tight indeed.

And indeed it was tight. I exited the plane at maximum speed, throwing small children behind me, while an announcement requested that passengers remain seated until unaccompanied minors had been escorted from the aircraft. One trolley dolly asked me what the rush was, and I pointed out that my connecting flight was due to leave in about 6 minutes. She told me that me schedule was too tight, and I told her that her bloody plane was late. It's all a matter of perspective you see.

Excitingly, as I exited the craft, I heard my name called by one of the waiting ground staff. They were ready for me. I felt a certain relief. I thought perhaps they were going to give me a lift to the gate in a golf trolley. Alas no, I was given a bright orange badge, directions, and an assurance that they would inform the gate staff that I was on my way. So I started running for gate 64. I hate to run.

Gate 64 proved to be about 200 miles away of course, and I'm not fit. However, I did my best, and as I charged down the travelators like a bullet, I began to notice airport staff calling my name as I whooshed by, cheering me on. It was like coming up to the finish in an Olympic marathon. Security wanted to search me at the transfer area, but changed their minds when I pointed vigorously at my orange badge and protested. So, fate decreed that the hand cream was safe.

I arrived at gate 64 in a state of disarray, and was once again addressed by name. I couldn't speak though, no breath left. I just handed over my boarding pass and nodded and pointed. I think the gate staff felt sorry for me because I got an upgrade to business class. Or maybe it was just because I was the last passenger and they had a spare seat to fill. It was like having the medal hung around my neck anyway.





So I made my connection and arrived in Taipei on time, shaken but not stirred, complete with hand cream.

Another thrilling tale tomorrow.

Pics or it didn'thappen

I love that phrase of Abby's, "pics or it didn't happen". I'm not sure that defence would stand up in court, but I'd like to see someone attempt it. Actually, I am presented with a small problem because the dragon took our little Sony camera with her. I wasn't planning on packing one, but since I am now required to document the trip, I had to look out our old cybershot. I found that fairly quickly, and the charger. It took rather longer to find the spare battery. I am now fully equipped. It's on charge, all ready for the off tomorrow.

I've been packing today. of course. I think it's all done. I've also made an effort to clean up the house a bit. No one wants to come back to dishes in the sink and overflowing bins. I've been uncommonly organised. I even made a list of things to do before I leave. I don't very often travel alone these day.

So, it's goodbye for a while. Well, who knows, maybe I will write an entry while I'm away. I'll be back around 15th. Talk to you then.

All is well in the world

I've decided to be a pensive goblin again. I have tired of being Doctor X.

It's the dragon's birthday today, but sadly she is on the other side of the world. I tried to call her, but her phone just rang out. I did catch her for a few minutes this morning on MSN. Dumpy is better now. He had a little ear infection, but he has definitely recovered. I'm flying out there to join them on Monday. I don't know if you will get any updates from me while I am in the Orient, but if not, don't worry, I'm not dead. I'll be back around Valentines day I believe.

I'm typing this in the office. I can't honestly say I'm working very hard, well I'm typing my diary, but I really don't think I could work very hard on anything complicated now because there is a bloody argument taking place about four paces from my desk. It's relatively good natured, but it's loud. I suspect that fingers will begin pointing within the next few minutes. I don't care very much. I just wish they'd piss off and find a meeting room in which to shout at each other. Ah, they seem to have dispersed. I hope it's permanent.

I'm not sure I really understand the role of the project manager. A strange beast indeed. And in my experience, so few manage to actually be effective at, well, anything. The PM around which the above argument was raging, is something of a knob head. And that's another thing, so many PMs seem to be desperately unpopular. There are a few here that are very good. It must be a difficult job.

We were promised snow today, well maybe not promise, it was strongly hinted at. It's not going to. There is blue sky and sunshine. Oh how I hope that spring is approaching.

Since typing the second paragraph, I have spoken across the world to the dragon. She's fine. So is Dumpy. All is well in the world.