Shooting Star

Well it's about time I wrote an entry. We've been back in UK for 2 weeks now and things are fine, in case you were wondering. We've actually got the 170kg box that we air freighted from Taiwan, which means I have the PC back. Unfortunately it doesn't work. I can only assume that the motherboard was fried by x-ray machines. I'm going to take it into Barnestaple next week to get the little man there to bung in a replacement. It's an inconvenience, but it needed upgrading anyway and it won't be expensive. Meanwhile I can use this one which is fine except for the fact that it has a dial up connection which sucks seriously. However, needs must when the devil vomits in your kettle.

Here's something that will surprise you; I went to church on Christmas eve. More acurately I was kind of dragged there. The dragon wanted to know how it works, so we went. My parents were going anyway. I don't think I would have taken here on my own. My views haven't changed, and I didn't take communion. The service finished around 11.30 I should think, and we emerged from the church into darkness. It really is in the middle of nowhere and they haven't invented invented street lighting here yet which meant we had a fine view of the stars. And as we looked up at the starry sky, we saw a shooting star. Less skeptical people would take this as a sign from God, but I didn't.

Christmas itself was good. It was the first Christmas in 5 years that I have spent with my family. My brother showed up, and we even invited a Taiwanese friend who is here studying. Much booty was beneath the tree. Too much was eaten and drunk. Good time was had by all.

On the down side, I haven't got a job yet, but I haven't really been looking since we got here. I'll start 2006 with that as an early resolution. We haven't moved back inmto my (our) home yet as it still contains the lodgers. We didn't want to kick them out over Christmas. We can take possession again from 15th. So far the most frustrating thing has been trying to get a bank account for the Dragon. This seeminly simple task has been made almost impossible by Nat West who seem to think that my wife could be a terrorist money launderer. They believe who she is, but, because she has neveer lived in this country before, we cannot provide any documentary evidence of her address. Apparently I am not able to even give her access to my existing accounts dfespite the fact that I have been a customer for 20 years and she is my wife. IU can of course prove that we are married, though this won't do apparently. I'm making an official complaint and I will let you all know how this goes.

I've sorted out new mobile phones, so when you Skype me or call my London Skype-In number you will be put through to the cell phone. Drop me an e-mail if you want the mobile number.

We've registered with the doctors here and are now almost ready to have Goblin junior. We apparently have to have a lot of the tests again because British doctors aren't prepared to accept the tests we had from the Taiwanese ones, can't blame them for that. Seems as though everything is going to plan anyway. Estimated time of arrival, 3 April 2006.

I see from this week's Telegraph newspaper (something I have really missed) that police now have the power to arrest us for anything. That includes littering, broken brake light, parkign offenses etc. Apart from the fact that giving an already inept police force even more power is a ridiculous idea, I'd like to know why there was nno debate about this.

Finally, it's New Year's Eve. We've been invited to a bash in Swindon, but we're not planning on going because it's 2 hours away, so we are going to have a family new year celebration here in Devon. I'd like to wish everyone who notes here a Happy New Year however. Don't drink and drive tonight, make some worthwhile resolutions people and try to keep them. 2006 is going to be a life changing year for me in many ways. I'm looking forward to it. Hope you guys all have Exciting New Years too.

I don't know when the next update will be, but I will try and keep[ this page going. You know, I think this is the first entry in almost 4 years that came from this side of the world.

Goodbye for a few days

It's still raining in Taipei.

We've pretty much finished packing now. We haven't packed our bags yet, but all the stuff that needs to be send ahead is now boxed up. There is one more box to pack I think, and another that is waiting to go to the post office. There is also a pile of valuables on our floor waiting to be crated up by the travel company. It was a long and stressfull job.

I had a bite on the job front yesterday. It's only a 3-6 month contract, and I'm not sure I'm quite what they want, but who knows. Also I think they want me to start next week, and that's just not going to happen. It's a confidence builder none the less.

I have a feeling I am going to lose internet connectivity from tomorrow, so this could be the last update for a while. I should be back in UK on 15th and I can update then, though I don't think I will have broadband again for a while. Those who know how to Skype me will be put through to my cellphone for as long as it still works. If you know of anyone needing a talented tech author in UK, let me know. I'll pick up e-mail as and when I can. There is a contact page on Dongxi that has my details, just click theh @ sign in the train window.

So, until next time people, goodbye.

People with umbrellas are like giant mushrooms

It's raining in Taipei...

Maybe only time for a quick entry today. I'm almost on my way to see Harry Potter. I'm not actually expecting too much. I have it from a reliable source that those who have read the book will be dissapointed. I have to see it though.

I have to correct an error in yesterday's entry. I said that the scan we had yesterday was 35 weeks. Typo on my part. In fact it's 25 weeks. I wouldn't have noticed if Abby hadn't pointed it out. It's due to pop out around the begining of April. Actually I should start calling it "he" since I am now sure what it is.

I must get my wife a Christmas present. Don't let me forget.

The new leader of the Tory party is David Cameron. I guess he was my close second choice. Let's see how he performs at PMs questions today, or is it tomorrow?

Everywhere I look today I am seeing headlines like "Bin Laden is alive and fighting". This is misleading. This is merely a statement from Ayman al-Zawahri, and he would say that wouldn't he. I still say Bin Laden is dead and has been for years. Why hasn't he been making videos himself if he wants people to know he is alive? I can't understand why this is newsworthy.

OK, I've been summoned. I'm going to watch HP. Report when I return.

Four hour break here...

OK, lets start by saying, I really liked the film. It's by far the best directed of any of the HP films so far I think. And I understand why they had to abridge the book to fit it all in. I can't however understand why they had to change things for the film. It wasn't Neville that gave Harry the Gillyweed, it was Dobby. Why did they change it? They also sacrificed a lot of the goings on at the quidditch world cup, but they extended the dragon fighting scene. I'd have cut back the dragons and maintained the quidditch world cup.

They also completely missed out the fact that Harry and Winky were both implicated in the dark mark incident and it changed as a consequence. And right at the end Dumbledore suggested they call Azkaban to inform them of the missing prisoner. Why did they do that? Azkaban wouldn't be missing a prisoner because Bartie Crouch Jnr was beleived to be dead. One final complaint; we see a fleeting image of Bartie Crouch Snr lying dead in the grounds of the castle, but no explanation is given. The next thing we know, Harry is talking to Dumbledore about something totally unrelated. You have to explain why he's lying dead under the tree. I'll give it a 7 out of 10. I was going to give it 8, but writing this made me realise how annoyed I was about the changes.

I've seen his penis

We spent the morning at the hospital having our 4D scan. I can confirm that it is a boy. I've seen his penis. I was a little concerned after the last visit that he wasn't going to have a full set of equipment and was destined to make an arbitrary decision about his gender. It seems however that he does have all the nuts and bolts and my worries were therefore unfounded. I'm not going to show you his penis of course, we don't endorse that type of thing here, but here is a picture of his face for you.



My brother, I am reliably informed is eccstatic, as are the grandparents. I am too of course. It's about 25 weeks now and weighs 700g. That's about normal I understand. I've been told he has a big nose. I thought that was a little unkind. It appears however that the oriental medical staff here are only used to little oriental noses. I think he has a fine nose.

In other news, I see that Terry Wogan has been given a knighthood. Now I have nothing against Terry Wogan, but what has he actually done? He's vastly over paid for doing a job that would be very easy for anyone with a huge ego. I suggest we adopt a new rule when honouring people. I suggest we only allow people who don't wear wigs to get an OBE or higher. That way we eliminate all the divas and self obsessed narcissists like Elton John, Paul Daniels, Bruce Fawcythe, and of course, Wogan. I think it would make the honours list far less embarrassing to people viewing it from overseas. I think I'll e-mail her Maj tonight with my thoughts.

ITV has agreed to buy the Friends Reunited website for 120 million pounds. I think the site is pretty awful now. When it was free I actually paid a subscription. When they started making the site useless for people that didn't want to buy a subscription, I stopped renewing mine. I'm not a fan of extorsion measures. All this makes me think that 120 million is a huge amount of money to pay for the site. I'm prepared to bet that the company has no assets to speak of.

Anyway, I'm off to get some sleep. I'm tired and I have a headache.

Witch Doctor

I didn't get around to finishing an entry yesterday, though I did start one. Here's what I wrote...

A new survey in Britain has concluded that almost 1 in 10 guys are paying for sex. I don't have a problem with this on it's own. If you want to go out and buy it, I guess it's none of my business. But that sounds like a lot of people visiting ladies of the night. I've never been tempted, and I have to say that paying for it would take some of the erotisism out of it for me. I used to live near a lap dancing club. The ladies didn't do full nude dances, but I think they probably might have been open to a private deal after hours. I went there a couple of times for stag nights and such, but I wasn't really into that either. It just doesn't appeal. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Click.

We seem to have been going through a slow news period since I left work. Or maybe the fact that I'm not working has meant that my interest in the news has dropped, though I can't think why. I did notice that the world's first face transplant has taken place in France. A woman who lost her lips, nose and chin has been givent he face of a brain dead patient. I'd love to see before and after pictures, but I don'thtink we're going to get them. Click.

From here on this is written today...

The dragon, as regular readers will know, is Taiwanese, and the Taiwanese people have a traditional post natal ritual that lasts one month. Before I tell you what it involves, let me explain two things, first I don't understand it myself, and secondly, many people including the Dragon think it's drivel. Appparently after giving birth, a woman's chi is depleted and her body is cold. That's not cold in the traditional sense, it's some weird cold that I don't understand, but you have to bring the cold body back into line with warm food. Again this is not your normal warm. As far as I can tell it involves boiling chicken in alcohol for hours until there is no alcohol left. No water is supposed to be drunk, and washing of the hair is also forbidden. This goes on for one month. Oh, there is also chinese medicine to be taken daily.

As I said, the Dragon thinks it's garbage. But she still wants to give it a go to disprove it more than anything I think. She says she draws the line at the not washing of hair, and I persoanlly can't see her resting for a whole month either. The Chinese medicine she quite likes the idea of. We buoght about four cubic meters of foul smelling grasses, frogs eyes and dried beatles from the local witch doctor yetserday. We've also shipped a case of rice alcohol to England for the chicken soup thing. I might take some pictures of the potions for you all to enjoy. I though I would prime you with this information so that you won't be surprised when I give you a report on post natal progress.

We actually ship ourselves back to England on 15 Dec. A man who looked very like Mr Miagi from the Karate Kid came today to give us an estimate for shipping the delicate stuff back. There will be a period when I don't have internet access. Don't worry, I haven't died, I'll be back on line some time in the new year I imagine.

Still no luck on the job front.

Naked Robbery

Last night I felt the baby kick again. I think this is a good sign, though I think the novelty is begining to wear off as far as my wife is concerned. Next Tuesday we go to the hospital and have our 4D scan. That should finally clear up the question of its gender.

This morning I was woken at 6.45 by a bloody great earthquake. It frightened the hell out of me. We haven't had a large quake for quite a while. The reports say it was magnitude 5.7, but here I think it was closer to 3.0 here in Taipei. Even Silvia felt it and we never see her before lunchtime.

I have spent most of the afternoon in CostCo, the local cash and carry place. I wanted to buy a build your own speaking alarm clock, but these things are an indulgence when one is attempting to move all posessions to the other side of the planet. I still want it though. I still need a Christmas present for my brother and my aunt. I don't think either of them would have liked a speaking clock however.

The only story in the news today that I have found amusing is that of two naked bank robbers in El Salvador. It seems the two were digging a tunnel to the local bank vault and they had to wrk naked because of the intense heat. They managed a 75m tunnel before a collapse left a gaping hole in the street through which the two fled. They were later aprehended by police. Click.