Pants

I've come to the conclusion that Norton Internet security is pants. I've been running it on my home computer for several months and it's fouled so many things up, it's probably better to have a virus. Anyway, I finally gave up with it yesterday when it started suffering from "serious errors" and shutting itself down. I spoke to someone who recommended Avast, which is free to home users, so I'm giving it a try.

I got fed up with not having a radio in the bathroom and bought a new one yesterday. I can listen to the news as I bathe and clean my teeth now. We had a crappy little shower radio shaped like a shark, or dolphin, I don't know, anyway it was rubbish. The new one is a digital radio and it's very good.

I see that even the Guardian has given up on the Labour party this morning. The paper commissioned a poll and it has put Labour a full 16% behind the Tories. The significant point is the fact that Labour has slipped 2% since the last polls despite going on the offensive to try and make some ground up over the summer.

You may remember that the Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs was recently refused parole and then strangely released on compassionate grounds two weeks later. Something didn't smell quite right about that to me at the time, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. A couple of weeks later Mr Al Megrahi the Lockerbie bomber was also released on compassionate grounds. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the case of Al Megrahi. How's this for a theory:

Lets assume that the Biggs appeal for parole was unsuccessful and that there was no early release on compassionate grounds either. In that case Al Megrahi couldn't have been released without people comparing the two situations. People would be saying, "how come the Lockerbie bomber was released and Biggs wasn't?" Let's say Biggs appeal for parole was successful and that there was no compassionate element. Then people would be looking at the Locerbie bomber release and saying, "why has he been let out on compassionate grounds and no other prisoner ever has?" Convenient wasn't it, that a high profile prisoner like Biggs just happened to be released on compassionate grounds just before the Lockerbie bomber case came up.

If the British government did release Biggs on compassionate grounds because they wanted to release the Lockerbie bomber with the least amount of backlash, that would be the way to do it. It would also mean that the British government, contrary to what they have been saying, were involved in the decision to release Al Megrahi. This is not all my own work. I have extrapolated an idea put forward by Biggs' son.

OK, file sharing, lets talk about file sharing. Good old Peter Mandleson has decreed that new legislation will mean that people caught sharing copyrighted files on the internet will be cut off by their service providers. There has been some anger about this, from users and from ISPs. There have also been some questions about how this will be enforced. I have a home network for instance, like many people. If one person on that network is downloading stuff illegally, are you going to cut access? What about wireless networks tha can be accessed from the street? And on the radio news this morning one commentator remarked that if the legislation was going to criminalise between 6 and 9 million people overnight, it's probably indicative of a deeper problem. He's right.

Here's my dilemma. I'm interested in Asian cinema and television. It's a perfectly legitimate interest. My wife is Asian and we have a mixed race child. We need Chinese language material. You can't get it in this country. It's simply not available. I can't even buy foreign DVDs on the internet because they don't play on British machines. It's not even very feasible to buy a foreign DVD player because they work on different voltages. If I want to stay within the law I don't have many options

It's not about protecting copyright. It never has been. From the government point of view it's about controlling what people can see. From the entertainment industry point of view, it's about greed and protecting their market share.

Horticulture and a couple of penguins

It's my wedding anniversary today. I thought it significant that we got a card from my mother, and another from my aunt which both featured penguins. Stay with me, this is spooky. Not only that, they feature an almost identical slogan. See for yourself.



See, I told you, Twilight Zone right?!

OK, I'm going to get horticultural now. This photo was taken in our garden. It's a "Ken Sharp" fuchsia.



The astute among you, and those who are friends with me on facebook, will be aware that my family name is also "Sharp". See where I'm going with this? This fuchsia was named after my Grandfather when he died. He was grand wizard of the British fuchsia society, or something. How cool is that?! Anyway, I'm all excited because my mother gave us this fucshia, and we haven't killed it. It's growing in our garden! And the Dragon is even trying to grow a new one from a cutting.

And, since we're on the subject of horticulture, look at my tomatoes...



I think I let them get a bit out of control. But look at that plethora of tomatoes.

Up on the roof

I've been clearing out the loft. Do Americans use the word "loft". I mean the roof space in our house. We're turning it into a bedroom for the boy. There was a lot of crap up there. Actually, not as much as I thought there was, but a lot. The majority of it seems to be junk. I went to the recycling centre and threw most of that away yesterday. There is some left however, and we don't have a lot of space to put it. I have a lot of books and no shelf space. I suppose I am going to have to build shelves, but I'm not sure where. I hate to throw books away.

Talk here in the office today is all centred on Usain Bolt breaking the world 100m record. Everyone here thinks he's using drugs. He seems to be running 0.1 secs faster than anyone else on the planet. There are parallels with the Florence Griffith-Joyner story. I looked up her history. It seems her 100m record still stands at 10.49 seconds, set in 1988. She of course died at the age of 38 in fairly mysterious circumstances. She retired at the age of 28, just after she secured 100m and 200m records, and just before random drug testing was implemented. She still holds the 200m record which was also set in 1988 (21.34 sec). She never tested positive for drugs throughout her career.

By the way, Usain Bolt ran 100m in 9.58 sec, that's an average of just under 24 mph.

My bloody boss is talking loudly in German on the phone next to me and has been for at least the last hour. It's getting up my bloody nose. He's going to Zurich or somewhere tomorrow I think.

I notice that Ronnie Biggs has made a miraculous recovery after being released from prison on compassionate grounds. Funny that this report seems to suggest that Biggs said he intended to carry on living "to spite those who want me dead". Quite remarkable since he was apparently unable to speak two weeks ago, and just days from death.

Oh, we have maggots in our dustbin. I so hate maggots. This is bloody Tony Blair's fault. We only get rubbish collected once every two weeks now. I wrapped everything up in two bags and put it in the wheelie bin when I discovered them. The little bastards can't get out of there, but they did manage to escape from my double wrapping. The wheelie bin gets emptied today however and I'm going to bleach it when it's empty. It was super full this week due to loft clearing exercise.

The Dragon bought the boy Cars on DVD on Friday. I think it's been played about 15 times since then. I can almost do the script. It is a good film. I have seen it rather too many times however. I found hundreds of old video tapes in the loft yesterday. The ones I've recorded myself I have thrown out. The rest I will give to the charity shop, apart from a few that I've put aside to keep. I found Picnic at Hanging rock, Paris Texas, and the Derek Jarman version of The Tempest. Now they are three great films. I'm going to show the Dragon Picnic at Hanging Rock. I reckon she will like that one. If that goes OK we might progress to Paris Texas. I'm not sure the Tempest is really her type of thing, though it is possibly the greatest film ever made.

Up, up, and away

I'm typing this at work on my laptop. The network has gone down. My company produces cutting edge software for the banking industry. We're world leaders in our field. That is not sarcasm, I truly believe in the product. Astoundingly however, we don't appear to be able to keep our own network up.

My dodgy knee picture seems to have raised a few comments. Mr Punk thinks I have a cartoon knee. Abby is waiting for an alien to burst forth. Little Chloella only managed, "youch, youch, youch". I can see her covering her eyes as she says it. And January Girl settled for , "Holy CRAP, man!! That isn't normal!" I particularly liked that one.

Well you'll all be pleased to know that I visited the specialist yesterday and he's going to open me up later this month. He gave me three options:

1. Don't do anything. It may go away by itself after a while, but it may not.
2. Drain the fluid off, but that is unlikely to work because it didn't work last time.
3. Open the baby up, cut out the fluid filled sack and repair the damage.

So I went for option three as my insurance appears to cover it. I was surprised at the efficiency of it all actually. When I got to see the specialist he already had a letter from my GP in his hand, so he knew all about me before I even got there.

So, if you don't hear anything from me after 28 Aug, it's because I have died on the table. The surgery will be performed under a light general anaesthetic apparently. I am blissfully ignorant of things medical through choice, and when I was told that it would all happen under "light general anaesthetic", for some reason I thought that meant I wouldn't be knocked out. Seems I was wrong. I can go home the same day though, but I'm not allowed to drive or operate heavy machinery, and I have to starve myself.

We ventured out to the Bristol Balloon Fiesta this weekend. There were lots of things about it that were frustrating. For instance, traffic management was appalling, roads were closed all over the place and there were no signs. There were 20 minute queues for the latrines. The beer tents were also overworked and required 20 minutes of queuing. And the schedule of events was all over the place. However, for the first time in living memory I went to the balloon festival on a day when balloons actually flew. I really saw them fly!






This may not seem like much to you dear reader, but I have been so many times only to hear that it's too windy, too wet, too foggy, or too something else to actually send up balloons. This year they actually flew, and the little guy was almost wetting himself with excitement. Such is my past experience of this annual event, I wasn't even very keen on going.

Some balloons were interesting shapes, but not many of them flew.



In addition to seeing actual balloons, the Red Arrows were there and did a top display that must have lasted a good 30 minutes. I don't have any Red Arrows pictures. The damn things move too fast. The Red Arrows are really worth seeing. Again, the boy was almost beside himself with excitement. Other highlights included dodgem cars, which I thought would scare him but didn't, several merry-go-round things including one with flying space ships, and a parachute display team. I have a video of the dodgems which I'll put up at some point.

All in all, I still don't like the event because I've been let down so many times. This weekend was a let down in some ways too. We waited until 9.30 for the night glow display to start before realising it was going to be at least 10pm before anything happened, so we went home. However, in general it wasn't a bad day, and I left feeling less disappointed than all the other times I've been, but I'll still be cynical about it next year.

Great Balls of Fire

Well Ronnie Biggs has been released on compassionate grounds. Apparently he is going home to die. He may have reformed over the years. It's certainly true to say that he isn't a threat to anyone any more. But in the end, he was convicted and sentenced, and he didn't serve his time. He got away with it. He had a good life. What message does that send out to the scum bag element? Seems to me that in this case, crime did pay. I think he should have died in jail really. Does that sound heartless? I feel sorry for his son. He appears to be a decent chap

I was intrigued by this story in the Telegraph about a young Greek woman who set fire fire to a young man's genitals because he was sexually harassing her. Apparently he had dropped his trousers and was groping her. So she poured sambuka over his love spuds and set fire to it with a lighter. Apparently the gentleman suffered second degree burns and is now being treated in a clinic. His travel insurance apparently covers second degree burns to the genitals, which is fortunate.

The thing I like about most about this story is the fact that the young lady has managed to ridicule this clown and maintain her dignity. She handed herself into the police. It would be unfair to assume that the guy is guilty I suppose. He is entitled to a fair trial like anyone else. However, this woman appears to be confident. This all happened in a crowded bar, so if it goes to court, there will be witnesses. If he did get his knob out and wave it around at someone who didn't want it, the truth will out. You also have to admire the quick thinking and indeed physical dexterity of this woman. She had the presence of mind to pour a flammable liquid on his balls, and managed to find a lighter and ignite it. Can't have been easy.

How do you put out flaming bollocks? You can't ask someone to stamp on them. The guy was from Swindon by the way. That explains a lot.

I bet you're all wondering about my swollen knee. Well it's still swollen. I'm going to see the specialist on Monday. I was thinking it might have gone down a bit yesterday. The dragon reckons it's just because I worked from home and I didn't have to walk much. It seems big again today. My worst fear is that I have nothing to show the knee specialist when the time comes. I will have to use it a bit at the weekend. The Bristol balloon fiesta is on.

I've beem to the Bristol Balloon Fiesta several times and I have never seen any balloons take off. It's always too windy or dark, or wet, or something else. I'm resistant to going again this year but we have yet more visitors. It could be a good day.

Oh, another thing, seem to have lost my voice. Well I half lost it on Wednesday, I sounded like Barry White yesterday. Today it's more sort of John Lee Hooker/Howling Wolf.

Look at my Knees!

Time for a quick one. Look at my knee!



Six weeks for an appointment with the orthopaedic specialist, six weeks! A perfect example of how throwing money at the NHS is not the answer, but thanks anyway Tony.

Luckily I have private medical cover and I'm able to get a consultation on Monday. This is good, because if my knee gets any bigger, I'm going to have to start wearing a kilt.

It seems to me that I am the only person in Britain with no sympathy for Gary McKinnon. In case you have been living on the moon for the past few months, McKinnon is a British hacker. He has admitted breaking into computers owned by the US military and NASA. The US want want him extradited and put on trial in the US. Britain has agreed to the extradition, but for some reason the guy has a significant amount of support here.

My opinion:

The guy is a vandal. Breaking into a computer that doesn't belong to you and changing things, or snooping is no different from breaking into someone's house and rifling through someone's personal possessions. It's no defence to claim that the security was inadequate, any more than a burglar can claim that it's OK to break into a house with cheap locks. And it's no defence to claim you were just looking either. McKinnon's defence would seem to rest upon his claim that he was trying to prove that the US military is suppressing information about UFOs.

I can't see that claiming to be looking for UFOs would make this hacking legal, but I don't believe that his motives were down to UFO hunting any more than I believe he has Aspergers, which was coincidentally diagnosed just after he was exposed. I think he is a highly intelligent and articulate man who is now attempting to convince the world that he is a nutter to avoid punishment.

One has to consider this also from the point of view of the US military. Their computer systems hold some of the most sensitive data in the world. They want to send out a message to people who think it's OK to try and steal that data. You can't blame them for that.

Mad Boris Johnson in the Telegraph believes we should be protecting McKinnon. Boris does not, "believe for a moment that the Pentagon and Nasa sustained half a million pounds’ worth of damage to their systems, as they bleatingly allege". Well Boris, that's why there has to be a trial, to ascertain whether the accusation is true or not, because thankfully, you are not in a position to judge are you? Also, your claim that the US should actually be grateful to McKinnon because he has helped them "to prepare against attack from a more sinister foe", is ridiculous. I suppose you would be grateful for someone breaking into your house and rifling through your wife's knicker drawer because it would demonstrate the flaws in your home security would it?

Andrew MacKinlay, Labour MP for Thurrock, has actually resigned over the issue, or more accurately he has said he won't stand at the next election. This is the same Andrew MacKinlay that was caught having secret meetings with suspected Russian spy Alexander Polyakov. He had a small majority of just over 6,000 when he was elected. It couldn't be that the 20% Tory lead in the polls and your embarrassing relationship with Russian spies makes your seat unwinnable could it Mr Mackinlay? Rather go out in a blaze of glory than lose to a Tory perhaps? I notice you're not standing down immediately. Could change your mind before the election next year if the polls swing back eh?

Peter Hain, among the most unpleasant of the high-ranking Labour thugs, has also thrown his weight behind McKinnon. Hain claims that because McKinnon was in Britain in his bedroom when the alleged offences took place, he must be tried in Britain. Funny how you didn't feel that way about Samantha Orobator for instance. She was tried in Laos and convicted on drug trafficking charges. Your party did everything in its power to return her to Britain despite the fact that her crime was committed abroad.

It gets up my nose. The guy is a toad. I hope he hangs.