True Story

Picture the scene ladies and gentlemen; it's Friday morning and I'm standing at the urinal at the office. I unzip my fly and that normally routine action is disrupted because there's no hole for my willy! I've only gone and put my underwear on back to front. Can you believe I got all the way to the office without noticing, so embarrassing! I was thinking I could just go into one of the cubicles and whiz them round, but there were other chaps there and I was thinking they would think I was weird if I walked away from the urinal and into a cubicle. So I took emergency action; I peed over the top of the waste band and then walked out. I walked back in again when I was sure all the people that saw me at the urinal had gone.

True story, I hate when that happens.

The last survivor of the Titanic has died aged 97. She was only 9 weeks old when the ship went down with her father. You know I can remember my Grandfather telling me he could remember the Titanic going down. He was 12 years old. I mean when the Titanic went down, not when he told me.

Danny La Rue has died aged 81. He used to make false boobs out of birdseed. He said they moved realistically.

Oh yes, January Girl asked me what an MP was. I suppose I take it for granted that everyone knows how the UK parliament works. An MP is a Member of Parliament. Each area of the country has its own MP. There are 646 altogether. Most MPs belong to a political party, but a few are independent. The party with the most MPs forms the government, and the leader of that party is the Prime Minister. There you go, simple.