Gravy Train Wreck

I can't find a new battery for my beeper thing for the car. I wrote about this the other day didn't I. It's annoying me. I'm too scared to used the alarm now. I'm going to go to Maplin on the way home. I wonder what time it closes. I just checked. It's Open til 8. I'm going there tonight. Don't try and steal the car OK?

I'm told the boy drew a picture of me today. This is exciting because it's never happened before. Apparently I look like an octopus. It was drawn on his water mat thing, so it disappears after a while and I will never see it. I'm at work typing this. The news reached me by phone. However, the dragon had the foresight to take a picture.

So, who'd want to be Elliot Morely this morning, not I, that's for sure. In case you missed the story, Elliot is the MP for Scunthoprpe and claimed £800 a month, for two years for a mortgage that didn't exist. It was a complete accident of course, completely forgot that his mortgage was already paid off, totally slipped his mind. Somehow he even managed to provide proof that he was paying for this mortgage with a building society statement showing an £800 payment every month. Turns out the payment was for something completely different though. Could have happened to anyone. Honest mistake, feels terrible about it apparently, though not terrible enough to offer his resignation it would seem.

Morley also somehow managed to claim for mortgage payments on his London property while renting it out to another MP who was simultaneously claiming for rent on the same property. He obviously went to the Margaret Becket school of property management. That arrangement apparently only lasted four months before the practice was deemed unallowable. He doesn't appear to have repaid the cash though.

In another revelation by the Telegraph, Tory Aid to David Cameron, Adrew Mackay, has actually resigned after it emerged that he was claiming an allowance to pay off the mortgage of the home he shared with his wife who is also an MP. She was apparently also claiming for mortgage payments on their other home. So they had two homes, both of which were funded by the tax payer. At least he had the decency to resign. One wonders how his wife is going to survive. I assume she is also a Tory.

It's like some ghastly adult soap opera isn't it.

And I've just read that Elliot Morley has been suspended. When I read the headline I was hoping it would be "suspended by the bollocks from the nearest lamp post by angry mob", sadly it was "suspended from the labour party by Gordon Brown.

The one thing that is now becoming apparent about this whole ugly saga, is the way in which David Cameron is leading his MPs, and Gordon Brown is reacting to his. Yesterday Cameron laid down conditions to his MPs. He told them that if they didn't return dubious expense claims, he'd sack them. And all his MPs apologised and started writing cheques. Shortly after the Cameron announcement there was a muddled statement from Harriet Harman which attempted to say the same thing. Yesterday Cameron's entire shadow cabinet had paid back their wrongly claimed expenses. Today we hear David Milliband (Gordon Brown minister) saying, "terribly sorry for my £30,000 claim for fixtures and fittings at my constituency home, but I'm not paying back a penny". He might as well have stuck his fingers up and blown a raspberry. Margaret Moran has reluctantly agreed to pay back £22500 claimed for a home nowhere near her constituency, and is still indicating that she may take legal action. Phill Wooolas, who has been caught red-handed making claims for things like toiletries, booze, kids' comics, and women's clothes is still insisting he hasn't. Read the Telegraph Mr Woolas, your itemised reeipt is printed there.

This morning Andrew Mackay resigned as soon as news broke about his dubious mortgage claims. It wasn't pretty, but he did the decent thing. Meanwhile Elliot Morley, a Brown MP accused of a far greater transgression, squirmed like a cornered rat for hours before Brown had no choice but to suspend him. He should have resigned straight away. He's committed political suicide now. I'm predicting it will go to court, and there is every chance he'll be convicted.