How big is the moon?

Last night I was in the garden looking at the moon with the boy. I asked him how far away he thought the moon was, but he wasn't really sure about it, so I asked him how big it was. He decided that it was "very big", so I asked him, "as big as a house?" He thought about that for a moment, and shook his head, "I think, as big as a fire engine", he said. I was expecting him to say something like apple, or orange, but apparently "fire engine" is the right answer as far as he is concerned. What do Americans call fire engines? I've been thinking about this ever since the conversation last night. Fire Truck?

I've been reading one of the boy's books about growing vegetables in the garden and there are instructions in there on how to build a wormery for composting your kitchen waste. It looks really fun, but you seem to need about 500 special worms. You can get them by mail order here. I really want to have a go at it.

I haven't written much here lately. It's not that I don't want to, but I am short of hours in the day currently. I'll try and make some time.

The above I wrote yesterday (Monday), then saved it on my laptop, and then locked my laptop in my desk drawer at work - doh!

I should mention the Home Secretary and her current woes. I know it's wrong to revel in other people's misery, but Jacqui Smith is the most loathsome woman on the planet, and when I heard that her husband had been caught watching porn while she was away, and then charging it to her expenses, I almost cracked open a bottle of Bollinger. I have to say, since Tony Blair has gone, Smith has been promoted to the position of most odious British politician, on my list anyway. This porn scandal of course comes within weeks of the discovery that she was claiming £2,000 a month on expenses for her second home in Redditch because her first home was a spare room in her sister's flat in London. And despite the fact that the public are ready to lynch her, she's still trying to defend herself.

Since the Smith revelations it has emerged that Tony McNulty, employment minister, has been claiming expenses on his second home in London, though he doesn't live there, his parents do, and his "first home" is only 11 miles from parliament. Also Geoff Hoon, former defence minister, was apparently claiming expenses for his "second home" in Derby while letting out his London home and living in a grace and favour apartment down the road, also funded by public money. And of course the Chancellor of the exchequer, Alistair Darling, has now been caught claiming second home expenses for his London house while renting it out. He has use of 11 Downing Street in London, the official residence of the chancellor of course. Oh yes, he has a third tax payer funded home in Edinburgh as well.

So, who is the biggest benefit fraud here? I'd like to think it was Jacqui Smith. She has apparently claimed £116,000 so far in second home expenses, and she employs her husband, the fat bloke who watches dodgy porn while she's away, for £40,000 a year as her "assistant". However, I think the prize might go to Alistair Darling, who is managing to to claim expenses on a home he rents out, while having the use of two other properties funded by the tax payer. I make that four homes if you include his constituency home, one of which makes him a profit from rent, and three of which are entirely funded by the tax payer, class act!

And as we go to press it emerges that Margaret Beckett, housing minister, yes housing minister, has also been claiming a second home allowance on a London home while living in a tax payer funded grace and favour home down the road. She was renting out her London home, to another MP, Gillian Merron, who was, wait for it, also claiming second home expenses. I take it back, the prize for the biggest benefit cheat has to go to Mrs Beckett. Only she has so far managed to engineer a second home expenses claim that has resulted in the public paying for the same home twice, while she was making a profit on it and living round the corner in another residence paid for by the tax payer.

There should be rioting in the street.