bungee jumping or getting my nipples pierced

Gordon Brown is having a crap week then. I'm fed up with politics. I'm not going to talk about it other than to say, I hope the guy stays there long enough to guarantee the permanent demise of his insidious party.

My car smells of decaying sea-food, long story. It's funny, I've lived in or around this town since I was a teenager, and I never really ventured into the Asian Quarter. I suppose I knew it was there. It boarders the red-light district. It's just somewhere I never felt I needed to go. But, now I have an Asian wife, and I've crossed the line. Suddenly I discovered that there are things there that I just didn't know about. You can buy exotic vegetables, odd spices, funny cuts of meat, and sea food. It's the sea food that is responsible for the vociferous odour in my car. The ice packed around two large boxes of prawns appears to have seeped into the carpet in the boot. I've removed said carpet and it now resides in the conservatory. The car smells better, but the conservatory does not.

I went to have my eyes tested this weekend. Do you know, they told me I should be wearing bifocals. I'm not that old. They should provide counselling or something, irresponsible bastards. It's this kind of thing that triggers mid-life crises you know. If I injure myself bungee jumping or getting my nipples pierced I'm going to sue Vision Express.

Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP and Nazi thug, has been prevented from holding a press conference outside parliament by egg throwing protesters. I know it's anti democratic and he should be allowed to speak and all that, but I can't help it, I half wish I had been there hurling eggs at him. I suppose one could argue that the egg throwing was democracy at work come to think of it. One thing I will say for Griffin, he must have big cast-iron balls. Sooner or later someone is going to fire a gun at him. He can't go anywhere without about a dozen trained gorillas as it is. I hope we get some good pictures.