Letter to my son

Son, I’m going to give you some advice. I didn’t always get things right as I grew up, and though I would do many things differently if I had my time again, I don’t suppose I would get everything right the second time either. But my 40 years of experience must have some value, and here I will attempt to pass some of it on to you.

Soon you will go to school and you may find that you do well at certain subjects. Don’t abandon the others recklessly. When I was young I enjoyed science lessons, and I concentrated too hard on them at the expense of other classes. Always leave room for creativity, and don’t be afraid of making unconventional choices. I took history because the only other option was typing, and I didn’t want to be placed in a class full of 16-year-old girls. I failed history, I still can’t type very well, and now I think about it, being alone in a class of 16-year–old girls may not have been such a bad option.

Never pass up an opportunity to learn. Education is a privilege that many people in the world don’t get. And more than any other single influence in your life, it has the potential to make your future better. Chose your education carefully, play to your strengths, and always study something because it interests you, not just because it’s a good career move.

Learn that there are more important things than your career. My father once told me that the only thing that really mattered in his life was his family. It wasn’t until I had a family of my own that I found out what he meant. Ambition is fine, but it can turn people ugly. It’s important to keep it under control.

Don’t be scared of falling in love, but be aware that you probably won’t get it right the first time, because no one does. Chose very carefully before you make a lifetime commitment. This is one thing that I got right, more by luck than judgement. And if you are lucky enough to get it right too, never take it for granted.

Take time to travel if you get the chance. Being a foreigner always made me feel special. And when I’m in my own country, the fact that I have seen how other people live also makes me feel special.

Don’t waste your time on ignorant people. I already know how smart you are going to be, and like all smart people, you’ll be plagued by idiots all your life. I’m talking about the lager drinking tabloid readers that consider success comes with a BMW badge. Some day you’ll probably have to work for some of these people because they all gravitate towards middle management. But always remember that these people aren’t bright enough to realise how stupid they are. They’re not even worth a second thought. If you need to get angry, get angry about something worthwhile.

Take an interest in politics, but don’t get involved. You should know what’s going on, but remember that all politicians are reptiles and they’re only really interested in power. They will try and take your liberty from you, and as they do it, they’ll tell you that it’s for your own good. Some of them may even believe it. But never give up your liberty to these people without a fight. And never forget that the person most qualified to run your life is you.

Never feel you need to fit in. Sometimes being different is the most interesting path to take. Fashions came and went as I grew up, as fashions are bound to do, and I have never regretted ignoring nearly all of them. When flares went out, I carried on wearing them. When they came back, I had moved on to something else. I have never bought a pair of denim jeans, and when my office abandoned the dress code, I still wore a suit to work, complete with bow tie. Most people look back at 20-year-old pictures of themselves and wince at the way they looked. I have never had that problem. Wear a hat because you like hats, not because everyone else is.

Above all, learn to recognise the opportunities in life, and take advantage of them, because every opportunity that you don’t take will one day turn into a regret. When you’re young, life looks like a very long road in front of you. Looking back down that road, the thing that scares me most, is just how short it looks from the other end. So don’t waste your time or the opportunities that life throws your way as you take the journey.