Is it just me?

The Professional Standards Director for Boots the Chemist, Paul Bennett, has had a Gerald Ratner moment. And in case you don't know what that is, Gerald Ratner, who was head of the largest jewellery chain in UK, had a habit of standing up at public events and telling everyone how crap his products were. If I remember correctly, he once described his jewellery as about as durable and expensive as a prawn sandwich. Paul Bennett has done pretty much the same thing by announcing that homoeopathic remedies sold by Boots are useless, and only stocked because they sell, not because they work.

This is actually pretty fascinating. I can't decide whether Bennett is actually doing this out of stupidity, or some moral crusade. The only thing I do know is that he's right, homoeopathy doesn't work even though a huge number of people believe it does. The remarks were made to the House of Commons Science and Technology Committee, which is investigating the scientific evidence behind homoeopathy. How many times does it have to be investigated? The conclusion is always the same, there is no evidence to suggest it does anything.

The chairman of the British Association of Homoeopathic Manufacturers, Robert Wilson, is sure there is "strong evidence" that homoeopathy works however. He told the committee, "Boots are a very important retailer, they sell a great deal of these products. If these products don't work beyond the placebo effect, why do people keep buying them?" I love that quote. He's saying that homoeopathic remedies must work because people buy them. Isn't that rather like saying witches really did exist in the 15th century because people burnt them?

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Apparently Jesus may have visited Britain. I didn't see it in the papers. He went to Glastonbury apparently. I don't know who was playing that year. Must have been a while back. Probably Duran Duran or something.

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Roman Polanski has been let out of custody on bail. He gets to stay at his Swiss Chalet and has to wear an electronic tag. I guess that means he's not going to abscond then.

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Swiss nutter, Yves Rossy, famous for throwing himself out of planes with a jetpack strapped to his back, has crashed while trying to fly across the Strait of Gibraltar. He landed in the drink and had to be rescued. The man is 50, he should know better.

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Is it just me, or does anyone else find Alan Carr creepy as hell?

Doh!

I think my favourite story from the news last week is this one in which we hear of a wife who posed on-line as a 14-year-old schoolgirl in an effort to catch her paedophile husband attempting to pursuade real 14-year-old schoolgirls to have sex with him. It seems that David Roberts would spend hours alone in his study with his computer. His wife became suspicious when an instant message from him to a young girl appeared on the screen while he wasn't there. She decided to log on to the same site as a kinky schoolgirl and was treated to hot webcam action direct from the next room it seems.

If I'd been the wife in this situation I suspect I'd have simply burst into the study brandishing the bread knife. If she'd also had the foresight to record all the hot webcam action and text chat, I'm guessing he'd stop doing it. Let's face it, that would be emabarrassing wouldn't it; caught displaying yourself on web cam to 14-year-old girls, by your own wife - Doh!

As it turns out the wife was so emabrrassed that she alerted the authorities rather than confront her husband directly. The police found child porn on the computer, and he got busted. He didn't realise that it was his wife that shopped him until some time later when the police told him it seems. He thought he'd been caught when his downloads had been traced. You almost feel sorry for him. Actually, no you don't, but you know what I mean. He was lucky enough to escape jail and is now going through a divorce.

I like to read about scientific research soemtimes. I'm particularly interested in absolutely pointless research by academics that conclude the bleeding obvious. And a nice example turned up today. It seems that "experts at the Glasgow Science Centre" have been researching why Friday 13th is considered to be unlucky. And their conclusion seems to be that it's because Friday is the unluckiest day of the week, and 13 is an unlucky number. Amazing, I wonder how much money went into that research grant. They also concluded that umbrellas that are stored wet can spontaneously combust, whcih often happens to me, and that walking undera ladder may be unlucky because a window cleaner's bucket may tip over you. Amazing stuff!

Fruit Bats

Had a bit of a crappy weekend. I came home from work early on Friday due to feeling like I was dying. I didn't die of course, but the weekend wasn't very active. The dragon hasn't been very good either. She reckons it's pig flew. The boy seems to have got off lightly. He's got a gravelly voice, and he's coughing, he also had a high temperature for a couple of days, but apart from that he seems to have escaped nasty symptoms.

Is anyone watching Flash Forward? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!? Is Tracy alive or dead?

I actually found myself feeling sorry for Gordon Brown this week after he was attacked by the media for his, admittedly appalling, letter of condolence to the mother of a soldier who died in Afghanistan. The letter was appalling only because he has the worst handwriting in the known world and apparently he can't spell. He really should have had someone check it before it went out, and if I had handwriting that awful, I'd either type it, or simply make a phone call or visit. The situation has been hijacked for political purposes however and I have some sympathy.

A follow-up phone call by Brown to the mother, clearly designed to put tings right, just turned into an ambush. The call was recored and today appears in the Sun. The PM comes across as defensive and detached. I suspect the mother was coached by someone from the Sun over what to say. Somehow the argument morphed from the issue of the letter to lack of resources for troops in the Middle East and problems with helicopters.

There was a drama documentary thing on Channel 4 last night. It was set in an imaginary Britain where the death penalty has been reinstated for paedophiles. It told the story of Gary Glitter. In real life Glitter spent some time in a British jail after being caught with child porn. When he was released, he moved to Asia and eventually managed to get himself thrown into jail there for sex with an under-age girl. He was eventually released from a Vietnamese jail and deported back to the UK.

The drama was actually quite difficult to watch. It did make you think about the ramifications of execution. But it didn't really work very well. They chose to focus on the wrong guy. Glitter may well be a sleazy scum bag who takes advantage of under-age girls, but he isn't an evil psychopath like Ian Huntley, or Ian Brady for instance. He never used violence as far as I am aware. It made the whole thing rather unbelievable. If the death penalty ever did return to Britain, there would be a queue of people well ahead of Gary Glitter at the gallows. And that's another thing; the method of execution used in the programme was hanging. I can't imagine hanging ever coming back. Surely the only real option in this day and age would be lethal injection. Anyway, interesting idea, didn't really work.

A British company, Maclaren, which makes push chairs, has issued a warning to American owners of their products to stop using them because there have been 12 cases of children chopping off fingers in hinges as the chairs were folded. Owners are being sent kits to modify and make the buggies safe. Astonishingly, owners of exactly the same products in Europe have been issued with new guidance on how to use the products, but have not been told to stop using them or been issued with the kits to modify them. I find this astounding. Maclaren say that accidents in Europe have been far fewer and after consulting the Trading Standards Authority, they elected not to take the same action as they did in US.

Not surprisingly, a row has ensued. They surely can't be suggesting that the same product is less dangerous in Europe than it is in America? How could that be? Are they thinking that Americans are more careless? Surely not. This is going to turn into the worst marketing disaster in history. No parent is going to buy a Maclaren product ever again. I won't be. And as soon as some unfortunate European child does get hurt in one of these chairs, Maclaren is going to get sued so fast they won't even see it coming.

In other news, it seems that fruit bats like oral sex.

with a fat crayon

I don't know why I've stopped writing here. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day lately. I'll tell you what's been happening since I last wrote:

I've been dying of pig flew or something. We've all had it. The dragon is still suffering with intense snot issues. I'm feeling better now. I went to the supermarket last night to buy cold remedies. I selected three different types but was stopped at the checkout because I had apparently selected enough medication to kill myself. I therefore had to select one itme to leave behind. I did think about walking out to the car and coming back in again to purchase the remaining item, but it seemed like too much effort.

Work has finally started on the attic bedroom. Half the floor reinforcements were in place last night. We are now waiting for the new stairs to arrive. We received a £470 bill from the building inspector to cover his 5 minute visit.

We have visited all the local schools to which the boy may be entitled to a place. Our favourite school is in fact a faith school. I did feel slightly hypocritical about this until I found out that it is completely state funded. I may be a heathen, but I pay huge amounts of tax and I don't feel guilty about allowing my son, who has not yet reached an age when he can make a decision about his faith, to attend the school in question. Incidentally, they don't select intake on a faith basis. The boy starts big school next year. How the hell did that happen?

I've discovered through a You Tube video, posted by My Punk, that he has a pony tail. I find this deeply disturbing.

Who's watching Flash Forward? How did Demitri know where to find the Blue Hand House? And how did Lloyd Simco know where to look for Dylan when he ran off?

I embarrassed myself in the office today. I was trying to sound as if I knew something about football, when actually everything I know about football could be written on a gnat's arse with a fat crayon. I asked a Liverpool supported if Wayne Rooney played for them. Apparently this is about the worst insult you can pay a Liverpool fan. Not only did Wayne Rooney play for the enemy Liverpool club Everton, he then apparently defected to arch rivals Manchester United. Not only that, being a Liverpool supporter is not much fun at the moment, being as they have lost 6 out of the last 7 games. I'd seen Wayne Rooney in the news you see. He's just had a baby. I was sure he played for Liverpool.

OK, the next bit is boring:

The Czech Republic has ratified the Lisbon Treaty. This is significant because it means that everyone has signed it and it can now become law. Her Majesty's opposition were hoping that the treaty wuold not be fully ratified by the time the current government suffers the embarrasssing landslide electoral defeat which is going to happen soome time within the next six months. In fact, Mr. Cameron had promised a referendum if he came to power before ratification.

Cameron is expected to announce today that a referendum would be futile. He is right, you can't unratify the treaty. However, he is going to be accused of renaging on his promise of a referendom. I, like all Euro Skeptics are hoping that Cameron and Hague are going to come out all-guns-blazing today against Eurpoe, but it's unlikely to happen. The problem is that European leaders already hate Cameron and Hague for his Euro stance, and he's scared that being Euro-defiant will isolate Britain more. What should happen is a promise to renegotiate UK's position in Europe with a referendom in 5 years time that will effectively decide whether we stay or leave Europe. That won't happen either. What we'll get is a promise to renegotiate our position and a promise of a referendom on any further treaties or constitutions.

Update

Just as I predicted, Cameron whimped out. Still a better choice than the scum bags currently in power.