Pawn

This week begins on Tuesday because Monday was a holiday. We went down to Devon for the weekend, which was most wonderful. I thought the traffic was going to be awful, but we loaded the car and set off on Friday evening, arriving around 11 pm. We met no serious traffic on the way. We set off back home again on Sunday evening while all the holiday plebs were sleeping off their lunchtime hangovers, and arrived back in Swindon without incident at around 11pm Sunday. Dumpy slept all the way in both directions, result!

I think the oldies were pleased to see their grandson and there was much cooing and fussing over him. He likes their home because there are dozens of interesting rooms and passageways to explore. He spent quite a long time picking apples out of a crate in a back room, and transporting them, one by one, to Grandma in the kitchen. Grandma was a good sport and expressed delight each time this happened, and we are talking about hundreds of times here.

He seems to be fascinated by so many things now. Spoons and toothbrushes seem of particular interest. He's also learnt how to flush the lavatory which is entertaining. He can't understand why he can't flush it twice in short succession. Incidentally he was found stirring up the lavatory water with both a spoon and his toothbrush while we were in Devon.

I got angry with the video recorder yesterday because it kept ejecting tapes as soon as they were inserted. I know, I should move on to less neolithic technology, but we watch so little tv that it doesn't seem worth it. Anyway. I was resigned to the fact that the damn thing was broken forever. It was the dragon that discovered and removed the plastic spoon that Dumpy had posted into the slot. It works again now. He's like a little squirrel hiding things away. I couldn't find my cell phone this morning, but it has since turned up under the bookcase.

One of the great things about having a Chinese speaking wife is that you can get her to translate Chinese character tattoos, which appear to be ubiquitous these days. I've turned this into something of a game to ease the boredom of supermarket shopping. Yesterday we were at the fish counter in Tesco when I saw two Chinese tattoos together on a husband and wife. You get double points for that. The dragon translated the male's tattoo, which was two characters, as Da-vid. That seems stupid, but understandable to me. She then surreptitiously moved behind the woman to translate her shoulder blade, and burst into fits of giggles.

It was a single character that I didn't even recognise. Apparently it was the Chinese word for "pawn", as in pawn shop, not the chess piece. I can't for the life of me guess what the hell she was aiming for, but she obviously got it wrong. You'd think these people would check with someone they trust before doing this wouldn't you? The dragon has been stopped by complete strangers looking for tattoo advice. She is always entirely honest. That's just the way she is. If it was me, I'd be having a little fun with these people.

I don't understand why anyone in the west would want a Chinese tattoo. Very few people know anything of the culture or language. Surely less than one person in a hundred would even recognise a single character; why would they decorate their skin with them? I wouldn't even think of a Chinese tattoo, and not only do I have some knowledge of the language and culture, I have a personal translator.

OK, tomorrow I'm going to give you all a lesson in radio direction finding and triangulation. There is a reason for this. Stay tuned.