I expect you've been wondering where I've been

Well today I return to work after a three week break, necessitated by the birth of my son. I felt bad driving off to work this morning leaving the dragon in charge at home on her own. She'll manage perfectly well, but I'd rather I was there. It's true what they say about the birth of one's first child, nothing can prepare you. I wasn't ready for the depression, the complications, the argument with my parents. The good news however is that things appear to be getting back to normal, the negative things are begining to fade away and we can begin to enjoy being parents.

There was a complication soon after the birth. He was a little premature and feeding him was difficult. He lost a lot of weight and became dehydrated. At five days old, we had to take him back to hospital and he was kept in for three more days. I felt stupid. We should have supplimeted his feeds with formular milk from day one. But the midwives kept telling us that everything was going fine and we just had to keep trying. We could have done without the readmission to hospital, but no real damage was done, and he's gaining weight again now.

Thanks to all those people who left messages here by the way. I haven't had time to write back to any of you yet, but all the messages were appreciated both my me and the dragon. I will reply to all of you and I will put some pictures up as soon as I get a chance. Easter weekend is approaching, I might get a moment then.

The birth itself was one of the strangest spectacles I have ever witnessed. Before the birth a friend of mine told me that giving birth was horrendous and traumatic, and that it should be avoided at all costs. She has had two children and elected to have ceasarian section each time. I got fed up with her constant horror stories in the run up to our own birth and eventually told her to shut up. She turned out to be largely wrong about everything. Perhaps that wasn't so surprising since she has never been through it. One of the last things she said to me before the dragon gave birth was, "think about it, you never hear a woman who's just given birth tell you it was a great experience do you?" I'll come back to this in a moment.

I was woken on Monday 20 March at 6 am by the dragon telling me that her waters had broken. I wasn't convinced. It was almost two weeks early afterall, and first babies are always late, right? I did call the hospital however. They seemed to share my skeptisism. It was "probably just a show", they told me, "bring her in and we'll have a look". Even when I did bring her in at about 9 am, they didn't really think that anything was happening at first. By lunchtime however, they confirmed that membranes had ruptured and that labour was about to start, so they kept her in. Labour didn't start immediately however.

They kick husbands off the maternity ward at 8pm and I had to go home alone that night. I can understnd the policy, but it's tough leaving your wife behind like that. I slept with the phone by my head. The call came at 3am. She was in the delivery room. Of course I rushed back to the hospital again as fast as I could. I think I got there in about 20 minutes. There was no real need for the haste however. Nothing really happened for another 6 hours. Having a baby is a long process. They monitored the baby via sensors on the drgon's stomach. There was some worry that his heartbeat dipped at various intervals and it was suggested that maybe the cord was wrapped around his neck.

By 7am the contractions were regular and strong. The dragon had wanted to avoid using drugs if possible, but the midwife and I persuaded her to take a pethadin shot. On reflection this may have been a mistake. The pethadin seemed to have an effect on her much like half a bottle of scotch would have on me. She forgot how to speak English and now claims that the only person in the room she could see or hear was me. I don't think this was an exageration. At one point the sensor monitoring the baby became unusable and they had to connect a new sensor directly onto his head. The dragon doesn't even remember it. Neither did she remember the baby being put on her tummy.

When I showed her the baby lying on her stomach she came straight out of her drug induced trance and her first words were, "He's so cute, I want another one". Remember my friend that claimed no woman ever gave birth and then claimed it was a great experience? The hospital staff left us alone for an hour after the birth to get used to the idea of being parents I suppose. The staff were wonderful. I don't think we could have wished for better care. Mother and baby were moved to a new room by lunchtime and they kept her there for three more days.

And that was how my son came into the world. I can't say that watching it all happen first hand was enjoyable exactly. I'm glad I did it, but more because I know the dragon wanted me there than because I wanted to actually see it. But I can now say that I have done it, I've cut the cord, and held a child just a few seconds old. These things make me a bigger person. If we have another one, I'll be more ready for it.