Stuff I Found in the News Today

Two examples in the news today of how the government is just too powerful:

First, a man was held at gunpoint by police on Bournemouth station and came perilously close to losing his life. An undercover policeman aboard a train identified a man waving an imitation gun around and informed police at the station. Station police of course got it wrong, and stuck their guns up the nose of the wrong bloke, took him to a toilet cubicle, searched him, and took him back to a police station before admitting they had the wrong guy. They have since apologised. well that's OK then. It obviously doesn't matter that another innocent man was almost executed and the real criminal is still at large.

Second, and I really like this story, though I feel desperately sorry for the victim; a women has discovered that the Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) holds false information about her and has found herself having to prove that she hasn't done things they claim she has. Amanda Hodgeson, a completely innocent and law abiding subject, applied for a CRB check so that she could work at her local primary school. She expected the check to show that she had never been in trouble with the police, but the police central computer spat out a four page report claiming she had convictions for assault, battery, and abusive and offensive behaviour amongst other things. It went on to claim that she was an alcoholic and a heroin addict at one time, and that she now receives psychiatric treatment and methadone.

The information is demonstrably false since it stretches back 18 years, well before she was married and began using her current name. However, the CRB has told her, wait for it, the only way she can clear her name is to provide her fingerprints which must then be checked against every unsolved crime on record. That's right ladies and gentlemen, in a country that is so fond of claiming that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, Ms Hodgeson is apparently guilty until proven innocent.

So, to the gang of people out there still claiming that people with nothing to hide have nothing to fear, read the last three paragraphs again, slowly, and then ask yourself if id cards are a good idea.

The government sentencing advisers have suggested that people sentenced to less than 12 months in prison should be given community service orders instead. So, in other words, the government has told itself that they should send less people to prison. This of course has nothing to do with the fact that they have run out of prison places and don't want to create more. It's entirely because people released from prison after short jail terms are likely to re offend, unlike those people who are given community service orders, who presumably never re offend.

Fathers for Justice are protesting on the roof of deputy Labour leader, Harriet Harman's house. You have to hand it to the Fathers for Justice, they are brilliant at protesting. They always grab the headlines. Sadly no one knows what the hell they are protesting about exactly, but who cares, they're dressed as batman on Harriet Harman's roof!

Lord Dixon Smith has apologised for saying "Nigger" in the House of Lords. Shame on you sir!

And my current favourite story has been kicking around since yesterday. It concerns a 19-year-old hotel receptionist that discovered a bat curled up in her bra. The young lady wears a 34FF bra and I was holding off mentioning this simply because I wanted to see what headline the Sun would come up with when they ran the story. Disappointingly they ran with, "Bra is sending me Batty", so I made up my own:

Fruit Bat found between Melons

Holy Underwear Batman

and my favourite:

Homeless Bat Moves in with Great Tits