Gallons

First things first, I have back ache, I want sympathy.

I see the Punk wants to know about British roads. Well my boy, although public transport in Britain is universally dire, roads are actually just mediocre. You Yankee types think our roads are too small, and you'd be basically right. They tend to flood and freeze in the winter, but during the summer, they remain usable. The motorways rarely close, though the British police do like to cause as much disruption and chaos as possible if there is any kind of incident. The British drive fast and badly, but not as badly as they do in France.

The worst thing about British motoring however, is the price of fuel. We're paying about £1.08 a litre now. That would be about $2.16 a litre in US money with current exchange rates. Do you still use those caveman gallon things out there? There are about 3.8 litres to a gallon, so that makes it around £4.10 a gallon, or, wait for it, $8.20(US). Around 65% of that goes right back to the government to pay for roads, except that's a complete lie. The government raises far more tax revenue from motorists than they actually spend on roads, despite what they tell us. Oh and they also charge another £130 per year, per car in road tax, just to make sure that the motorist is thoroughly fleeced before he even gets behind the wheel. That's currently under review thanks to the last budget however. Anything bigger than a roller skate will have to pay extra to encourage lower emissions from now on apparently.

Talking of tax, I got a letter from the tax office today. I apparently owe them £52.40, due on 31 Jan. God knows how I am supposed to have paid that on time. Granted, I did file my return late, but even if it had been on time, the final day for filing was 31 Jan. I hate the tax office.

The bloody Iraq war is apparently costing us £3 billion a year now. That's £50 for every man, woman, and child in Britain. I should withhold my £50 in protest.

Did you see that Heather Mills McCartney has won a £24 million settlement in her divorce from Sir Paul? According to the Sun she threw a glass of water over her ex-husband's lawyer during the proceedings. What a cow. I don't like Sir Paul very much (washed up dope head), but Heather Mills is just offensive. She was attempting to get £125 million it seems, but a 4 year marriage apparently doesn't cut a lot of ice in the divorce court. My brother told me she won a plane as part of the settlement, and that she was just going to use Imac on the other leg. Tasteless, but not without humour.

David Beckham has a new tattoo which takes the form of Chinese characters down the left side of his torso. I really don't understand why anyone would get a tattoo in a language they don't speak. He was soundly derided when he spelt "Victoria" wrong in Hindi down his arm. Living with a Chinese speaking wife reveals some hysterical tattoo gaffs from time to time, including misdrawn characters, grammatical mistakes, meaningless sentences, and more. She was even stopped in a grocery store recently by a young lady who wanted her advice on a tattoo she was planning. Apparently the she wanted characters that would sound like her name, which was Sharon. No surprises there then.

Coincidentally, I was channel hopping last night and happened across Jenny Eclaire, very funny woman, talking about working-class names. She claims that working class names, "always seem to land with a bit of a thud", and then used "Jade" as an example. You may have to be British to understand that. I tried to explain it to the dragon last night and failed, but I thought it was hysterical. I know exactly what she means. She then went on to say that it was very working class practice to name children after places, like "Chelsea". Perhaps she was attempting to be ironic there, but "Chelsea" is not only the name of Hilary Clinton's daughter, it's the name of Prince Harry's girlfriend, though neither of them are British of course, which may give them a get out of jail free card.