Victim of technology

Skype is a great service you know. You can call other coutries at local telephone rates using a beautifully crafted VoIP system. At least you could, IF YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO PAY THE STUPID BASTARDS. On Sunday I used a perfectly valid credit card to buy SkypeOut credit. It failed, the transaction was cancelled, so I tried again and it worked. Just a small glitch I think. So yesterday I was perfectly happy to try and purchase a SkypeIn number. I used the same credit card and it was refused. Bugger, I think to myself, must have typed the number in wrong. So I try again, same thing, and again, and again, and again.

I gave up after 5 times and called my credit card company. They say that my security code was not verified. I'm doubtful about that, 5 times in a row. But sod it, there are other methods of payment right? So I set up a paypal account. I then go back to Skype to try and pay, only to find that they have disabled all credit card and paypal transactions on the account for "security reasons". OK, so "Money bookers" is the only payment option left open to me. I'm frustrated but I'll give it a try I think. So I go through the "money bookers" route, get to what I think must be the last page, and it asks me to put in a password. Odd, I think to myself, I've only just given them that. But I try it, and it's refused, twice.

I figure the password thing must be my fault, so I go through the whole "money bookers" thing again. I get to the same page and the password works, hoo-bloody-ray I'm thinking. Then it tells me that it's going to send me a verification code by SMS to my mobile phone. I have to type the code in the window, the king of the pixies dances, I get my skype number at last, and all is well with the world. Well, all except for one thing. I'm British, they know I'm British because Skype told them when I pressed the "money bookers" button. Therefore the mobile phone number must begin with a +44. I noticed that they asked for a mobile number as I was filling in my shoe size and blood type, but I just typed in a false number because I am in Taiwan and I have no access to a British mobile phone. This must be quite commn. People in their own country are not likely to want to buy skype numbers are they? So I'm thinking, there must be a way arond this, surely I can give them a cell phone number for Taiwan. No, they need a British cell phone number.

So at this point I am actually considering calling someone in England with a cell phone, on a standard telephone and asking them to verify my bleeding purchase. And then the irony hit me and I gave up. It must be a sign from some higher power. I'm just not destined to have a skype service. Seriously though, I never remeber having so much trouble trying to give someone money. I've offered them my first born child if they can sort it out. I'm doubtful though. I think they just don't want my money.

Another bureaucratic nightmare sending my blood pressure skywards at the moment is my attempt to change my visa from one based on a work permit, to one based on my marriage. You'd think it would be simple, I actually have all the paperwork I need now. Unfortunately, although I have a clean criminal record document, it's worthless unless stamped by the Foreign and Commonwealth office in London, and then the Taiwan Representative office, also in London. So I have to send it to the FCO first, and get them to send it on to the TRO. The FCO is actually quite simple, I just send them a document with an enclosed envelope, and they send it on. I can pay them by cheque. The TRO however don't accept cheques. In fact the only way I can think of paying them is to actually stuff pound notes in an envelope and mail it.

It's getting ridiculous. What kind of world have we created for ourselves here. It doesn't have to be this complicted does it?