Charlotte's Web

I think I need more sleep. Andy and Vivian showed up yesterday at exactly 7pm. That kind of attention to puntuality is worrying somehow. We had a good time anyay. We ate, drank, chatted, and played the PS2 drumming game. Somehow the dragon managed to persuade them to take home all the crockery that we were going to throw out when we moved. They seemed pleased with it actually. We can't have anyone else round to eat though since we don't have any plates now.

I finished my model of Big Ben on Satirday. I need to get out more.


The Ponce of Wales and Camilla Parker-Bowells got married on Saturday as planned. Actually she's not Camilla Parker-Bowells anymore, she's the Duchess of Cornwall. Maybe she's the Princess Consort too, I don't know. Anyway they were married in Windsor. According to CNN there were 7,000 people lining the street. According to the BBC there were 20,000. Either way, it pales into insignificance next to Charles' previous wedidng which was watched by an estimated 750,000,000 people around the world. There was a streaker. Streakers are a strangely British phenomenon I believe. The naked person was stopped by mounted police very quickly and he was removed. I don't think he was anywhere near the happy couple.

You know they've gone on honey moon to Scotland. I'm not going to knock Scotland, but he's one of the world's richest men. You think he could have done a little better than Mummy's gaff in the Highlands. I was listening to a British Radio show on the internet this weekend about the Prince. They tried to persuade us that Charles completely ended his relationship with CPB when he married Diana. Cobblers, he's obsessed with this woman, has been for 35 years. He met her ten years before he married Diana, and went staright back to her when his marriage failed. Are they honstly expecting us to believe that nothing went on until the marriage fialed?

I saw a frightening piece on the BBC website yesterday extolling the virtues of homeopathy. Honestly, homeopathy has been debunked so many times it's becomming embarrassing. I realise that there are people around mad enough to subscribe to the quackery, but the BBC should be at least mentioning that there is an opposing view. I've written to them. A weekend rant is good for the soul. I'll let you know how that goes.

Charlotte Church (ooh!) has evidently taken a picture of herself topless (Phwoar!) and sent it to her boyfriend's cellphone (duh, bimbo!). Said phone has now gone missing, and serious Church Boobage is now available for viewing by sweaty palmed adolescents globally. Now I know I'm cynical, but this sounds like it was planned to me. I've had a look at this picture, purely in the interest of uncovering the truth of course, and it's good quality. Doesn't look like the sort of crappy nude photos I've taken of me with my cellphone. Anyway, boyfriend looses the phone, someone finds it, manages to go through all the pictures, works out who the topless bird is, and attempts to sell it to the Sun.

Lot of coincidenses there if you ask me. If I'd picked up the phone I probably couldn't work out how to fly it. I can't use half the fuctions on my own. I'd almost certainly turn it off by mistake and then not be able to turn it on again due to a pin number. Even if I could work it out, I don't know that I would think to look through the pictures, and I'm sure I wouldn't go to the Sun to try and flog it. The Sun evidently didn't buy it by the way, not sure how the picture progressed after the Sun turned down the seller. Come to think of it, if I found the picture, I'm fairly sure I'd consider the fact that it was Charlotte Church, and then convince myself it wasn't. Of course, the picture I saw could be fake, probably is. See I'm doing it now.

And on to something else, another strange developement in the MJ trial. A former chef at the Jackson ranch has testified that he saw MJ with his hand in Macaulay Culkin's underwear. This contradicts what Culkin has said himself. Culkin is however not expected to appear as a witness. It's not looking good for the King of Pop is it.

In other news, it was Og's birthday on Saturday, happy birthday Og, and it was brother's birthday yesterday, happy birthday Nick.