Mixed fortunes

I've had mixed fortunes over the holiday period. Unfortunately I got a call early yesterday morning from my mother to tell me that my father had died during the night. He had been sick a long time with lung cancer and another lung condition. The news therefore came as no surprise. He asked me over a year ago not to write about him here, and that is why I have never mentioned it. I cannot however let the event go by without some words.

In fact Christmas was not a sad occasion, at least not entirely so. Despite father being very frail, I think he had a good day. He has had very little appetite over the last month, but he managed some dinner with us, including a glass of wine, and he unwrapped his presents. The dragon made him a calendar with pictures of his grandson. He spent a long time looking through it. It was unbearably sad to watch, but I think it was a rather special gift. Of course a calendar could seem like a tactless present for a terminally ill man. Don't think we didn't wrestle with the concept. But strangely, I think it turned out to be a very good idea. And when we left on Boxing Day, he told us that he had had a good time.

We all knew that it would be the last Christmas with him, and saying goodbye that day was even harder than usual. We all felt it, but no one showed it. It was as successful as anyone could have hoped for under the circumstances. I went back to Devon yesterday to be with mother. She is coping well, as is my brother, who also returned. I came home again this evening, but my brother will be there a few more days to keep her company.

For me the shock has worn off a little now. I still feel that his passing has left a gaping hole in my life, but I also feel a certain relief. Things were becoming difficult. Now the hard part is over. I just have to learn how to put my own bicycle chain back on and solve my own crossword clues. It's not so hard. Got to stand on my own some time.

On a more positive note, the mail brought news this morning that the dragon's visa application has been successful. That will probably mean that I won't be ranting about the Home Office here in quite such vitriolic tones for the foreseeable future. That will please most people I'm sure, It won't last however. This is only the middle stage in the process. Next we apply for British citizenship. Actually the dragon has no interest in becoming British, but it seems to me that her right to remain here will only become irreversible when she has a British passport. For that reason I believe that it is the only option open to us.